The 33% Majority
The 33% Majority

Episode 14 · 9 months ago

Ep. 14 - Camping, Cats and Conjuration

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Welcome to the utter calamity that is the 14th episode of The 33% Majority!

In this week’s episode, your 3 Friday Freaks (Alex, Tom and Ash) will each spend their 15 minutes of fame discussing the pros and cons (but mostly pros) of a camping trip, why neighbours and, by extension, cats are the worst, and how we 3 might navigate a world filled with magic - of the wizarding variety - respectively.

Dude, did? Did? Did we dud did bum bum bum bum bum bum, Buda, Buddha, Buddha, but did Alex, if you don't cut together some of that to be almost usaful as our intro music this week, I'Ma kill myself. Welcome to the thirty percent Ma Jarity, a podcast where free for our wow, I can't do it, I can't do it. I actually can't do it. I've ruined it for myself as a ash. Talk to us and introduce us to the podcast. Yeah, don't, don't do this for the listeners. All right, just say hey, Tara, say hello to US and welcome us to the thirty three percent majority. Tell us what the show is and then introduce yourself. Why don't we all just say exactly the same time and we'll just use whichever take sounds the best. Okay, this is dangerous. I like it. Okay, and three, two, one, hello and welcome to the thirty three percent majority, a podcast where you'll find three friends each fighting for their fifteen minutes of fame. I'm your host, I'll be your host. I'm your main host, Ashley Whole, Alex Springfield, Tom Hutchinson. Anyway, boys, I've got a story to kick off this. Sweet if you're happy to lend me your ears? Yeah, you could borrow a mate. They're all yours. Taken for the weekend. Just washing when you give then back. Empty out the WAX Filipill. Care for the Hambrake, it's a bit dodgy. Taken for a full valet and seat belt on the left. One doesn't works. Got Hole in it and the air come. You've got to kind of wiggle the KNOB when you turn it on, but it does work. You just got to be patient. Okay, okay, the hazard lights don't work either. Just don't have it. Don't have any reason to use them. Just don't break down, you'll be fine. I'm not going to drive any either of your ears. I'm just going to tell you a story, if that's okay. It's sort of loub up everybody's as that whole bit now feels like a waste if you're not borrowing her is. What was the point of? That? was A fucking wasted that. Okay. So, as I'm sure you guys and the listeners are aware, I'm now fully moved into a not submerged flat, which I'm very happy about. Well done, but there is still Tiank you. Thank you, ash please don't tempt fate. Touch would touch moods. Look, fuck, it happen, and I am seven floors. Thatts. That will be significantly harder for the water, but stranger things have happened. Anyway, in both the living room and the bedroom there is sort of a Juliet style balcony. What, what is that? Okay, so it's got doors, but the doors open up to just like a barrier straight away, so you can't walk onto the balcony. The room becomes the balcony because you can just open both of the doors. Does that? Is that make any sense? So you could? They called Juliet balconies because you can lean out of them and Romeo can shout to you wherever. wherefore, because you're seven, because your seven flows up, he'll be screaming it and it'll be a lot less romantic. Precisely. Yes, Alex, Truliet, Alex, are you with us? Are you with us? Sure? Yeah, window, that is sideway that opens like doors. Yes, yes, now, next to next to both of the Juliet balconies in both of the rooms there is a very tall and slim door which you can open up and you're met with like a great and the idea is is the whole buildings very dog friendly. So you're able to open that up fully and the dogs wouldn't be able to, you know, throw themselves seven, seven floors to the ground, and quite as dogs want to. So why that was? I don't know why that was funny, but it was. Carry on, but for laughing. Just immediately after you said dogs tossing themselves off the building, as I in a bit. As we know, all dogs are evolved from birds...

...and they often forget that they don't have wings anymore. Yes, okay, I do that. When I missed the stairs on the way, flap for a second, try and get no, where's my thrust? Where are my ailerons? Anyway, yeah, and so this great it's just a bunch of small holes and you can fully see out of it, only slightly impaired. Now and last night my partner and I were laid up in bed, bit warm in the room, so I said, yet, do you mind if I open the door somewhat just to be able to let a bit of a breeze through? So I do. So there's a beautiful breeze and as I'm laid in the bed with my earphones in, listening to a podcast, as I'm want to do. I notice, as I'm staring just through this sliver of door that's open through the great that I can see a guy's foot and I just thought that it was yeah, that and that's the end of the story. Yeah, would know, and I thought it was just relatively odd that of all of the cleaner on night shift will just wait, wait, wait. Way It gets more interesting. I thought that it was strange that of all of the things that I was able to see through this, you know, two inch gap that the door was open, was a guy's foot. Now, anyway, dog start barking. Mrs Gets Up. She wants to go and check on the dogs and what they're barking at. I I look around, you know. She goes off and I go back to the guy's foot and I realized that it's sort of moving up and down. And when I say I can see a foot, it's sort of the top of a foot, not the not the bottom, and I just I move over to my left somewhat and I can see the other foot and both feet are they're just moving up and down just so ever. So slightly man on? No, invisible and very small trampoline could be that's that. That went through my head. But any where, I thought, are they my feet? And I've just got pins and so bad that I forgot. I can't feel them. MMM, another another good one, another good one. I get up and I opened the door where the great is just to have a bit of a clearer look, and I noticed that it's a guy actually laid on his bed and so, you know, the top of his head is close to the window. He's laid on the bed horizontally, so not sort of with his head at the where the pillows would be, sort of, you know, the wrong way, and his feet at towards the door. And then I realize that there's a body on top of him and the body on top of him is what's causing his body to shake, because what's happening is there is a darkhaired woman straddling said bloke with the absolute biggest windows you've ever seen, just wide open, no blinds, no curtains. Yeah, and she's just doing a sex to just, yeah, just absolutely battering his cock. Yeah, and yeah, they're just they're just, they're just go they're just fully going for it. So I shout for Natalie, my Mrs immediately, come and get the camera and look at the the let's be voyers, fucking come and look at the betweetheart, bring me a mirror. Yes, and we're watching and you don't. My God, you both that there with pub yeah, we've got the binoculars out and we sort of like theorizing, like have they forgotten to close the blinds? Is it that they think that our building doesn't actually properly face them, so no one can see? Maybe they'll stop in a minute anyway. And the girl sort of hops off and we're thinking he did his job, he got the job done, kind of thing. No, no, no, it's just a switch up from there straight to doggie style. Saw The chopper and all that, and they just they just carried on just yeah, sex in into the night. They saw the chopper. From what you're describing, it sounds like you're watching this. There a two inch hole. Surely at that point walk away from the two...

...inch hold and I know. So, yeah, like that's got. The only reason you saw what you saw Tommy is because you were trying very hard to see what you could see. Saw The chopper at all while I was desperately looking at who we were trying so hard. I A victim. So I a man who was partial to the odd Wang. Have perused this, this Wang of mine, previewed, perused, I tried words, words, I've burned myself here and carry on and but anyway, that's my story of how I committed accidental voyors and it's it's rare we get onto such vulgar topics quite so early in the program so thank you for that, Tommy. I know I got it out the way. My favorite part was there, straight to douggie. That was it was wonderful. That's my ring tone when I get a text now it just goes straight to me. Good. Well, I'm glad. Anyway, Ashley, feel free to take away hosting rights, as they are yours. Now, I'm going to grab them with both hands and give them a big SMOOCH. And with those same hands that I've given you this smooch with, I'm gonna hold your hands and take you for a water. As we journey into what I did on Monday. I went camping and it was beautiful. We walked all day, got to a river, sat down and had some soup by the river. Literally set up my little gas stove, got three bowls out three Kansas soup and had some soup by the river with my two friends. Walk some more, set up a tent by a massive, massive field, built a little wind block some leaves, so all night got to hear the wind going through the leaves, got an early night, got up in the morning and went home and it was quiet and beautiful and everybody should do it. How do you guys feel about camping? You'd love camping. Do you not love camping? I just wanted to start happy. As for Num, just want to start off by saying wonderful, wonderful, short story. They're Astley. I was enthralled by every single word. Yeah, I mean fuck, yeah, campings fucking cool, right, Alex well, always got to play Devil's if can go on, then no, right. I have happy memories of camping. I also have unfund memories of camping. And are they all weather based, away toilet based, particularly like whether? Yeah, no, there was one. What was it? Me and Bethy went to corm one and we stayed in a tent for like a week and it was lovely and we drove around the entirety of cornall finally the Best Cornish pasty and it was nice, but the inside of the tent, obos, as tents do, got condensation in it and there were these pockets in the side of the tent. I was I'll just stole all of my electronics in there, my brand new something galaxy has ten plus water proof phone. I got it up and the charging hole was just full of water. There's a stored water you could sit from, keeping it for later. Yeah, and instantly corroded and fucked it and and then and that I just had to why this charge. It was a minoring convenience. That's why I don't like capping. Okay, okay, well, yeah, it does. Is Amazing. I mean, yeah, I haven't been camping probably for more than a decade most likely, but to be honest with the ash after you describing that, it sounds incredibly serene and I'm not sure what about it actually does entice me, because the thought of, you know, shitting into a bucket or really anywhere other than a toilet and wiping with anything other than toilet paper doesn't really you know, it's in through do it for you know that not your steet, it's not my kink. No, but the idea of just going somewhere and, apart from maybe a bit of music or a bit of navigation, just removing all technology and enjoying a handmade fire pit and some warmed up food, you know, warmed up carton. Yeah, I...

...think one of the things that make Ashley's so much better than normal camping is I've never done camping outside of a campsite and what tends to ruin camping is your next door neighbor Dave, who's drinking just pint up a pint of stellar UPOI, whereas, I'm sorry, we'll have to preface this bit. If you are a police officer at this point, first you've got to tell us. It's entrapment. You have to tell you. If you're a cop, you have to email in. You have to email in. If you're a cup, you've got email into. Hey, I'm a carp and I'm listening. Yeah, don't stop listening, we need the streams, but just take your earphones out, because what actually did was wild camping, which, it firstly, is a crime but also, secondly, sounds way way Serena than any capsite. Okay, while camping in the UK, in England mostly, is it's illegal in the same way that a lot of things are illegal. It's illegal in the way that weed is illegal in the everybody knows it happened. Weed is illegal. What's wait, pump the breaks in my Christian neighborhood now and kind Bush is a legal you'd honestly, I would never have known. I would never because I would never do any drugs. And listeners, if you if you've been there any chemical substances that aren't just water, Pierson Shit, you're unnatural and to do something about that. But yeah, and it's illegal the same way we'd illegal in that it happens. It's just ignored unless you are making a Dick of yourself. So people who go camping in like you, start fires, for instance in the UK, tend to get moved on pretty quick because you shouldn't have fires in the UK, in the UK forest, which is also a big problem for my in my opinion, because we're all adults and so long as you look after the environment, which you would if you were allowed to go camping when you were younger, you you'd gain that respect from experience rather than gaining it from being told. See, I'm with you in part that I'm with you on the sentiment of your point, Ashley, but people can't be trusted, and the reason I know instantly you disagree with that. But the reason I'm allowed to say that is I proved it to myself last weekend. So I cleaned my motorcycle getting ready to sell it. I cleaned it down with petrol, got rid of all of the gun can grime. It's very good clean and I many months ago took some petrol out of a petrol tank and stored it in a juice bottle, one of the plastic ones undiluted squash comes in. I sawed it in one of those and I remember writing on it in Sharpie petrol and going, ha ha, I label this because what dumb fuck is going to drink petrol. Well, that dumb fuck was me last week. You Alli there, well done, and I drank a lot of like three good mouthfuls of petrol. I drank about twentyzero calories into guzzles of petrol. So people can't be trusted. Now because I thought I could be trust I trust me more than anybody and I let myself down in a pretty fucking major I've got another story about trusting people. If you want it, I folly fire after and that story. It's just let you know that the average human body has four point five to five point meters of liquid in it. Alex trank petrol. Does that mean Alex is a five point five liter engine? Evidently, yes. Yes, just out of curiofter is that that? Is that the power you're putting fuel in? How many leaders Alex has? Five point five Tom a story. I probably know that just had. I was googling at the whole time, ready to fire. No, no, no, you were very you, you you were you were prepared and you wanted to tell so basically, I actually, until about thirty seconds ago, thought that I trusted my brother. I'm sure he's probably listening. Hi, Josh, High Josh. Yeah, so I thought I trusted him until he just put a message in the group chat saying that the family group chat that is saying who wants to see it? Then, and I'm sort of trying to think, is Josh definitely definitely me ask him to send me that personal I was wondering sort of it. Is it some kind of new technological device? As he done something to his car? Has He made a home improvement and immediately once I received the picture, I remembered that my brother for about the last like six months has, and I'm sorry for revealing this on air, Josh, and he's...

...had a problem with his toes, and I don't really know the INS, INS and out. That's not where I thought that was going. I was waiting like and he's got a micropin. No, no, my God, fair enough, good for him. What's wrong with his toes? So it just briefly. I don't want to but divulger for this medical conditions too much, but I must know. I'm I'm not really too terribly short, in which case I will. I shall assume that his toes are back to front and his big toe is where his little toe should be. Okay, that's not it and you're going to have the proof in a second. I know that it's to do with his nail cutting into the side of his toe and I believe it was caused by some kind of accident that he had when he was slightly younger. Anyway, he went to the doctors and the doctors had said that they'd expected to basically just cut a sliver of his toe nail off. All will be right with the world after said operation. The other day, on Wednesday, he actually told me that they had just decided to remove the entire nail and boys, Wan Bam, chicken and Ham. There's the picture of fees. Oh you didn't. Yeah. Oh. So now, listeners, for those of you without eyes, because this he is going on the instagram now. It's not really good message. You May, and I'll say this, yes, yeah, send us a direct message and will print you out a polaroid and send it to you via mail. This cannot be distributed digitally. Listeners, I will actually do that. We will have to approve it with Josh and we'll see if we can get it printed on some merch but anyway, continue as she if you're listening, you're a gross young man with a Yucky Toe. I wish they were on back to front. Oh God, that was it was one of the worst things that's ever happened to my eyes. Yeah, it doesn't look great, does it? Anyway, now I've I would I would rather drink petrol again than ever have to see that not only have I proven that I can't trust my brother, but I've also true. I've also proven that the two of you really can't trust me. So none of us can be trusted. Actually, none of us can be trusted. And just to kind of bring it back, bring it back round to the point that we somehow jumped off. We jumped off from seven jumps ago. People can't be trusted to have fires. Yeah, because of Josh's toes. It's yes, it's Josh's fault. Josh Ruins Camping. Yeah, Josh, if you're listening, and I know you are, you little fuck. You ruined wild camping in the UK for me, you persure. I bought ten and everything. Josh, I was going to sell my kidneys to fund my lifestyle of camping so I never had to work again, and now I can't. I'm going to have to keep my kidneys. Look what you've done. Yeah, Ashley's been weighed down his entire life by these kidneys. I've always had one too many. If you ask me, it's all kidney thing. But now, on a serious that you can't. You can't have fires in UK, UK countryside. Really there's very few places in the UK at what you when you type in wild camping UK, you get maybe some hits on Reddit for people asking about advice, which and the advice that you will get is always and will always be leave it as you found it. No finds be discreet. Yeah, that's just the countryside rules in general, isn't it? Yeah, shut the gate behind you, leave it as you feel, sort of to the thing that it is. I've gone. I'm sorry. Actually I was just going to say. Actually just reminds me of the new, really really sort of gray area electric scooter rules, which is to say that they are totally not allowed on the road nor the pavements. But basically, as long as you're respectful and you're not a did, you probably be all right. So the electric scooter thing actually comes down to we've got them in knots. You can in Nottingham Shire, sorr and I just I just colloquialized on listen to podcast. Sorry, everybody in not a finished listeners feel so alienated right now. But you can run them. They are provided by the council and you can run them for the day and the issue is one of liability and when you run them you get a form of insurance. So they're totally fine. You can have them wherever and you could do you Dang woolly's wherever you fancy. Anyway, I got sidetracked there with some some legal knowledge I have. Yeah, it's the amount of the...

...lack of trust that any any government body has in people. That means that the opportunity to build that trust is not there. So if you had more places where people could just go camping, like just fuck off and go, people would learn respect for it because they'd be allowed to do it from a younger age. Like I'd be able to take my least under think. So everybody breaks every rule ever, even just by mistake, people cannot be trusted. Yeah, I speed by accident. I'll look down. I'm doing seventy two and it's like I'm not allowed to do seventy two. Yes, it is only two miles an hour over, but it is two miles an hour more than I'm allowed to do. But I still do it just by accident. Will loop it all the way back round. I I access then committed voyeurism, and that is definitely a crime. Yeah, Tarm, it sounded like you accidentally went and got some magnifying glasses, accidentally pulled the sofa towards the gap a bit. Shut the fuck out. It's not blowing up my fucking sponge, but my spot. That guys. That guy's listening and they're putting on a show for you. Tomorrow, baby, I'M gonna people coming around looking for my fucking Voyor isn't it now? Fucker Tommy, can we see the workers? Please, Tom Please, I just want a little bit of wingers till we please can repeep the workers. I've got my camera. I'm hoping they'll go straight to doggie tonight, like I keep all my pictures in a lockbox. Shut up. I like staying to watch the cuddling afterwards. It makes me feel that alone. I really like it. What do you read to a story afterwards? I can hear the story too because of the microphone in the float. And, yeah, I really like is. We're doing impressions of Tommy's neighbors. So we've all got a little bit London, slowly, more and more. Who I hope the UPLOM lads leads. I really don't want everybody. Let's go, get on the tube, go to fucking I don't know if cheap. The tube is terrifying. The chief scars and Tube and do stabbings. Oh God. Yeah, and that's London. Yeah, hi, everybody, welcome to London, which is a weird thing that having dogs I've noticed about being in London. There there is honestly, they've all got now it's there's just a cannot stop dogs, cannot stop stabbing people. No, no, no, okay, it's just sort of a bit of a you turn now, but there are just chicken bones fucking everywhere and I don't, can't understand what the cause is. Chickens, Tom it's bloody chicken. Yeah, that's the call. That's they're try it's these fucking chicken. They're trying to cross the road, mate, and they just getting hit by all the traffic. Electric Scooters. That's what it is. Yeah, okay, cool, little chickens. Yeah, just when you just when you thought it was safe to cross the road, boom electrics cuter. And then straight after that is me camping. I'll grab the chickens. That's hard to report on the death because I'm eating them all of my campsite. Yes, and to anybody that's listening for the first time, by the way, honestly, this is a podcast. We promise this. We promise. Yeah, as a podcast these it's not just it's not just a string of random thoughts. Let's get back to Ashley, you love Camping, I love the idea of it. Give me some camping tips, right, I think the best one to start with. I'll kick it off. Don't be naked, maybe try. Try, not cake cool, really noted. Set up late, fuck off early. Don't. Don't be that guy that turns up through in the afternoon at a beauty spot and sets up your tent, because people are going to walk past it and then people are going to see the fucking guys who run the sites on the outskirts and be like, oh, there was a man with a tense set up late, fuck off early. If you were camping, be poline. Don't. Don't do an arson yet, don't. Don't do an ASS and make flame. Don't do a naked ass. Yeah, boat like can bone bashing. Yeah, you'll hurt yourself and that's worse. That's the worst kind of ASS. And you could do is a naked ass and and ask arson if you will, and I'll some some square and you might set your poemss on fire, which is not what you want. Nobody wants that sweet peebs on fire. Don't set fire to...

...your ped okay, anyway, more, whoa hang on, whoa hang hang on a minute. Tell me if you upgrade at the frictionator. See, I can't. Actually, for some reason I've moved flats and I think the last one, I think the frictionator, is still damaged from the flooding. Well, now I'm looking at it now and it's got it. Someone's put a Karaoke like lyrics on screen device on the friction here. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know who did that. Was that Gary The maintenance flow? He's always it'll be garry the mess book for the PODCASTS. Barry maneuversly he comes into you, guys, it's firing up. Oh my God, oh my gosh, it's frying. We'll have to sing along now. Oh Dude. Thank you, Ashley, for your wonderful camping segment. I'm sorry that we might barrel rold you a bit. This is then. What's The frictionary? And this is my intersection section of the podcast where we we find random and urban dictionary entries and try to figure out what the definition will be. Are We? Are we both ready for the first ones? Ready as we'll ever be? Spoiler alert, it's probably Yucky and cummy. Yes, the first one today is Turkey tap so that's like Turkey, the the the winged animal, and tap as in the thing that you turn on to acquire water withinside of your abode, like it already turkeys. Of God, is it Turkey's that have got a gizzard? Yeah, that's they've got. They've got a GIZZARD and they gobble. So I'm going to say, is it when you look like, is it when you pat the back of your partner's head when they're giving you filation? Oh, yeah, you see, because they're gobble, gobble, gobble. Tassie, I was wondering, you know, how when, like, you cook a Turkey and you've got all the delicious basting juices that sort of come out of it, is it some kind of like human bodily fluid that one might refer to when it comes out? I think it's got something to do with the Gizzard of a Turkey and some human juices. I think it's Volveak in nature. Yeah, like sort of yeah, that's a great discreption. That's the cleanest descript that's a fucking nearly will they should we find out? Of over, it sounds like volvet. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Nice bottle of vulvaic water. It's vaginal Toma. Drinking vagic know, I wouldn't. I would just watch it now and you maybor drinking it. Shall we find out what the Turkey tap is? Just yes, please. Okay, when you've got a two inch hole in a floor and you watch two people having sex, that's a deal. Turkey tap. That the Turkey to a Turkey tap is when somebody, usually male, taps another mail on the nutsack firmly enough to elicit a short burst of testicular pain. So it's really nice. We've been conditioned to open. What the frictionary? Now? We went to gross we went too deep, we went hard with the fucking grimness of the yeah, yeah, went to Yungville and kept on going. We should have just stayed at gross town. Do you know what? I Alex overshut it fell asleep on the track. Think that, in terms of like, who was the closest, you definitely were with the Gizzard, because of the bullsack. It's a wrinkly grow also looks like a Gizzard. Yeah, fucking a hundred percent. Okay, thanks, guys, good work on smashing the frictionator. I'm really proud of this one. Yeah, so proud of my achievements here today. I'd like to thank my I mean these two guys that keep turning up to my podcast every week. My podcast, you mean also. It might be my podcast, just to listen and in the ash listen. It's my podcast. I'm going to see the two of you have fucking cought, just saying over ruled. Fuck off. I hope we never have to go to court. I hate court. Yes, be nervous and sweaty. It's like church. It...

...makes me feel nervous. Ashley, as much as I would love to listen to you talking about the church, because I'm sure that would be an interesting segment, I'm host. Let me talk about religion. Man, no, I think the best probably for the best. And yet should we? Should we visit? Am I the asshole from Reddit? Maybe I'd love that. Yeah, Gone Talk. Yeah, well, that sounds delightful. I came. What's your user name? On read it. I'm never telling you my user name, but with an R and a forward slash at the at the front, are sound sound? Yeah, but if listeners want to submit, submit your Coos to you, I'm yeah, I'm cutting into my own hosting time here, but just to let you know very soon we will actually have a website up and running. It's basically ninety percent done, and on said website we do actually have a forum board where all of you lovely listeners will be able to visit and post us. Am I the asshole? Suggested suggestions, maybe some urban what the frictionary suggestions, or even just, you know, suggestions for topics West. Signed. Yeah, sign. Can I put the pictures? MMM, yeah, because I was asking for pictures of Clippy, the word out thing. You are I didn't and no one of us and I in and just what a little bit disappointed? HMM. Yeah, it was a personal attack more than anything else. Yeah, well, anyway, shall we? Shall we do the thing that I came here to do. Tom Stop wasting my time, do a sect M stop deally dallying. Okay, I will. I will summit segment now. The first one that I've got here is am I the asshole for refusing to eat my colleagues vegan birthday cake? US A Lark, lrandi nine, Larandi Nine, says I a twenty nine year old female. I'm working in an office and I have a colleague who will call be who routine he makes fun of Vegans. I'm Vegan and I never make a fuss about food. I go to the same restaurants as my co workers during lunch hour and I can always find myself something to eat without announcing my dietary choices. Be Keeps calling me out on it. She keeps saying that I'm just having a phase and she keeps offering me bites of her lunch that contain cheeks or meat, and when I refuse, she goes, Oh, come on, it's Vegan, I promise, with a lot of winks to follow. It's very childish and annoying and even other people. Yeah, quick, it's very childish and annoying and even other people asked her to tone it down, but she insists that she's just joking. Last week she bought a homemade cake to the office for a birthday and when she put a slice down in front of me, I politely thanked her, but I said I can't eat that. She said the cake is Vegan and she made it especially so I could eat it. But, knowing her very loose definition of Vegan, I asked a few questions about the ingredients and she did not check any of them for milk or ex so I thanked her again, but I refused the slice. She made a huge scene out of it. She started crying. She be though, isn't it? Blur a deep yeah, always going off on one. She was saying that all she wanted to do was do something nice for her birthday and now her day is ruined. Some colleagues told them not to mind. How dramatics, but my boss told me that it was her birthday and I could have given her cooking the benefit of the doubt. I sort of see her point. You couldn't have. That's something. No, you are never obligated to put a thing in your mouth. Never, HMM, you don't have to do it. It's your mouth. You can put who you want. It doesn't matter what like. People like. Oh, but it's social etiquet. Fuck social like it. If I don't want to eat your God damn cake, I'm not eating your God damn cake. She's not the end. You can't. I'm with like. Yeah, now I'm with ready to hear because I don't like cake anyway. So I just always say no to all cake. It's okay, it doesn't matter if it's your birthday. I don't want to fucking with anybody's dietary requirements is bullshit. Like if somebody says to you, Hey, I don't like I can't eat or I don't want to eat ex and you sneakily serve it them. You are a prick. HMM, you don't have to...

...eat eggs. That's right, Ashley. Nobody has to eat eggs of any description. Maybe he can force boiled scrambled just you just naming eggs at this point, Alex, that's not radio eggs, benefit eggs, benedict, exactly side up, sunnyside down. Yeah, how about the Omlerk? You none of these eggs need to go key, a nice little simple kee. Okay, not Nice Keys, Yucky keys, and the egg custard. You know, you can't have that. Those eggs away, okay at so anyway, you guys. You guys think that immediately she's not the Asshole, and I do agree. However, I just I find it a bit difficult because I also can understand that the woman, who evidently has made some poor, poor jokes in the past, also does sound as though she actually did try a damn this to make a Vegan cake. So our colleague would be included. These are these are the outcries of a woman who has done pranks about dinner snacks to a person that doesn't want to eat the dinner snacks, and now he is really trying to convince them to eat the dinner snacks that they don't want to eat. Okay, just double down on her, on her bad trick. Okay. Well, also, there's no way of testing it. Why on e would you trust somebody that led about in the past? Okay, that's so. That is also a fair point. Sort of a boy who cried wolf, kind of kind of shatter the yeah, and fucking dill set there. Okay, be be who cried Vegan. Yeah, be's the ASSHOLE. I don't think that Lrandi nine is the asshole. Okay, I'm I'm yeah, lrandi nine, I'm with you on this. Okay, you can. You can be a Vegan if you'd like, and you don't have to eat it. It's all right. Okay, I won't make her, I don't make it. Do it. Okay, it's well, you're a good person, Alex, relatively relatively speaking. Yes, you are, relative to what. I must know what quantifies that? I don't know. Like a criminal, like yeah, relatives. So a criminal. Yeah, pretty good blow, but I mean pretty decent guy. Tell ment, tell me how many sacrifices you've made today, Alex. did you drive your car today? Yep, okay, Alex didn't kill anybody, despite the fact that he was in control of a t turn, but heart deal. Apart from the ozone layer. Yeah, apart from the fucking vogozone layer. Yeah, you big break. That was a big plosive there, Alex. I'm really sorry, listeners. Just for some just for just for some clarity there. Alex edits the show and hates it when I make this noise. I can't tell if you're actually doing it right now. It's that it's the deep Basi ones. What I'm going to do tom is, if it takes me two hours to edit this podcast, an hour and a half of it is going to be salvaging that audio. Cool. I'm gonna do nothing but more time, energy and effort to just making that listen or just leave it as is so they can understand your plight. But shall we have another is that this the episode? Isn't this the episode where I'm editing half of it? In you're editing half of it? Though. You fucked it there, but you look at that, we're more than halfway through your segment, Tom Me, so fucker. Oh, I'm going to start just vaping and beat boxing into the MIC. Am I the ASS whole for installing cat scares? Use a three CALICO three asks. Our neighbors have at least five cats, whilst we have no pets at all. We would get the occasional cat who on our lawn, but it only happened once in a blue moon, so we didn't mind much. A couple of months ago, our neighbors decided to pave over their front and back gardens, which were almost all grass, so their front and back is now one huge patio. Immediately after this happened, we saw a dramatic increase in the numbers of piles of Cat Poo we found on our lawn. I'm talking at least two huge piles per day. The Pooh is usually mucasy, sloppy, and the cats never even attempt to bury it. This...

...is ruining our grass to the point where now it looks like it has yellow Polka dots all over it. We tried some random methods of deterring the cats, from Google, for example, putting bowls of vinegar out, leaving thit cables lying on the lawn so that the cats think that they're snakes, but nothing has helped. We finally decided to invest in some ultrasonic motion detecting cat scares, and they work a treat. However, about three days after installing the cat scares, our neighbors came to the door and demanded that we take them down. She tells us that the cats are now terrified to go outside and this has caused them to defecate in the house instead. We told her that we have a right to prevent animals from destroying our property and that they should have considered their cats when they decided to remove their toileting areas. So Am I the asshole for installing the cat scares? What are you boys thinking? So this reminds me. We've raised it before. NEIGHBORS SUCK ASS. Howd up twenty person worse yeighbors? Neighbors Suck. In one of our first houses, the first house we rented, one of our neighbors had those ultra sonic I don't know if they were cat scares. I've always known them as adolescent rape. Yeah, that's what I used to have them outside supermarkets because it's that in sleave, that little exactly exactly they're. So it's that hurt that over a certain age your ears get bad and Yucky and old and you can't hear it, but when you're young and sprightly, as I was, you can hear it every time anybody walks past and it. I would turn it off constantly and they turn it back on and to the point that I just removed her through into the road. It was they are awful. See, I think the use case is actually I think I think the use case is sort of like it works for both children and pets, because you know, pets have sort of they can hear those higher frequencies because they've got wonderful hearing. So I believe it's sort of both as an adolescent and as an animal scarer. So yeah, like that exactly the same thing if you've heard it. But but also I do have to say as the owner of a precious Kiddy, she can do what she wants to do. If she wants to Poop, she can poop. You could poo. WANT TO POOP? Do we want Y, especially if it's next door. I don't mind now I can understand. I can understand the two owners, or you know, of that property being, you know, especially house proud and not one seeing, you know, huge yellow poker dots on their on their garden. But much, much in the same way that most horror films, you know, the plots could be solved by just the characters talking about it. Or, you know, most most film plots could be solved by somebody literally just writing down a post it note of the events occurring. I think a friendly conversation would have been better than a cat scarer and looking into you know, then the owners could have looked into ways of, you know, creating adequate toilet space for the cats. Or also depends on who live there first. Like motherfucker, if they live their first and the five cats have always been shitting around that area and then you move there and you're like, I'm mad, next door house cats. It's the same with people who move into like move next door to like cad or race track and I can't yes, it's very loud and sounds like motorcycleuse all the time. Like motherfucker, you move next to a murder cycle race track. You bought a right cats. You you bought a cheap house because of its proximity to a race track and your test complained about the volume of the race. You got a nice hourselves. When you let your neighbors you're like, Oh, they've got five cats. Guess, guess, we'll still move in. motherfucker. You knew there were cats there. And even if you didn't, it's also very eat. Well. But, yeah, even if they didn't know when they moved in, it's also very easy to know once they've moved in that the people next door to you lived there before you done lived there. It's not it's not a difficult song. For example, he didn't know when he moved into his flat that he'd be opposite some people that go straight to Doggie. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, now he's missing out. And all that good, good for play. HMM, all of those middle bits between when she's on top and then to go straight to dog you. All of those lovely exciting middle bits like that, the crawl, you know that, that three second awkward crawl where...

...you're both like Oh, yeah, and you're laughing a little. You know, you're excited about bonking. Yeah, but and Alex, what I will say? So you've got a cat, as do you have a cat as well? IDEA. He's called Winston. He's full saying. I thought so. So the only thing that I will sort of add, though, that's that make that sort of it's a further wrinkle to this, I'm I the Asshole, is that although you, the two of you, are very responsible pet owners, I'd like to think I am as well with my two dogs. Now Winston's doing heroin in the other room right now. Tom You did put your dogs in a house full of Pooh. Yeah, Tom you did pool water up to the ceilings. Yeah, but I got them out so that I did the good thing. And why? But obviously that doesn't apply. shockolate at but I called the ambulance. So yeah, exactly. But I would say, you know, being good animal owners doesn't apply to every single person, and I would quite honestly say that maybe even more so for owning a dog, less so for a cat. I'm not sure, but I actually think it might. It's a bit thoughtless of the owners of the house to have replaced their entire grassy areas surrounding their house with patio, because surely if you got east, it's a drainage issue. Big Heavy rain where's that going to go? Yeah, somewhere. Yeah, yeah, that's that causes flooding. Yeah, I know I made this joke twice, but if your cold, it's cold. That inside. Okay, but yeah, it's like what? I think that it's quite a juice of the owners to have replaced all of their grass with passio without thinking about where the cats might need or want to go to the toilet. And now they've they've been forced to go on the neighbor's lawn. So, if anything, I actually think that the the cat scare might be a bit too far. But I don't think that the the the owners of the what we've got to bear in mind is cats are dicks. Always, yeah, HMM, always the cat, my cat, okay, my sweet lady son, Hank. She could use the toilet. She could. She's seen. I could figure that out. She just doesn't want to. She doesn't want to, so she won't. So she'll go and shit in the plants outside. Yeah, she could choose two. Cats are just finding new exciting ways to be fucking assholes, just to piss people off. Okay, so the cats are the assholes in this one. The cat's the ASSHOLES, I agree, but they've got C little beam hands, haven't they? It's hard to trust them. They haven't got thumbs. How can you possibly trust them when they look at you like they could fuck you up? If cats were even like six inches toilet, I would not fuck with one. Cats aren't on me. I mean, you see a small dog like I could still punt that thing over a fair Tom we can't tell ash about lions, we mustn't. They are yeah, guys, what's a lion? No, I'm to cereal, a brand of cereal. Actually, don't. Don't worry. Something my cupoard. I'll send you a picture. It's really Nice, nice food. I'm not going to do call it. I'm too frow down. And Anyway, the frick the friction e behind me. She's popping off. She's gonna get angry. Scene say she eats. You have another? Yes, I don't really need to reintroduce this segment, do i? And you guys for much for listening. MMM, they may have. Well, it's just I'm basically just stalling for time now, whilst I get the next one up, while from the machine. Everybody, welcome to what the fricktionary. It's Tommy's time to interrupt. The segments and give the show of some some flow. Tom's it loaded guils going to be to keep rambling. You need to still ramble for me. He works so hard on it and gets them all ready and tells us about the things he's found and then we figure out what they mean. About now any yeah, but I think I've got it. Okay. So the one we've got today is no, I don't fucking okay. Is that one? Sounds Racist.

Yeah, I'm not going to do always a risk, always a risk. Got Do that one. Ye. So, anyway, he really eat carefully selects them here. They are cultivated by Tommy. He spends hours trawling through the open dictionary website. You say cought of it. It sounds like he's farming them. He is. He grows that, he plants. He plants the yucky seeds in his field and he goes out and he cultivates them, spitsertain once a day let some know, you know, being really careful not to pick any of the racist one. Okay, I've got it. Hello. Thank you, Tommy. How's the harvest been this year? Yeah, it's slow. It's slim pickings out here. But the one I've got, the second burn. What the Freak Shinary is hungry, Hungry Hippos? Why did someone's chair just sound like the fucking amongers? Yeah, look, this chair a little tough job supporting my friend, but it was just that. So, yeah, it was Alex, Alex is your is your chair struggling with the nuclear reactor that you have for a fucking torso Alex chairs. So, I mean, I have. I haven't eaten it yet. It's just just crying out in pain, just with my base form. Okay, I'm a dense I'm a dense body. Hungry is mass to you? Yeah, Hungry, Hungry Hippos. It's not the game, obviously, unless it is an urban sic shore is just got real time. It's just a game. No, it's just the game. It's the the fun for all the family. Press this button, lots and lots of lots and gobble up all those yummy balls. Off, never mind, that's very much figuring it out. Car is aggressively well gobbling up those yeah, it's got to start gobbling those nets. Yeah, when you have three friends fight to gobble up Yummy, yummy balls. Okay, looks the thirty three percent maljority. This is a talk show where three friends fight for their right to go. That's in matter. Please cut that in as the end, as the opening. Don't use my mom was terrible. Use the one where you used to do is as hungry ball doubling. Could content see. This is the thing. Actually, Alex, just before we find out you actually, because of the Sham, the sham mess that this episode has been, you've got one take of all three of us doing the Intro, one take actually doing the Intro, I'm one take of you doing a sex intro. So all, I think you should just play them all together. Just absolutely, just a chaos episode. Yeah, exactly, that's what we'll call this one anyway. Shall we find out what hungry hungry hippos are? I'm scared, but yes, okay, in a threeason, when the two females are simultaneously moving to fori late that the male from either side, named after the similarity to the way in which the hippos reach for loose balls in the Hasbro Nelton Bradley game of the same name. Doesn't happen. That's perfect. Yeah, I think he does get the point. Alex. you're just you're just an urban what the frictionary master at this point. It what I've been meaning to tell you. Tommy's I've actually recently taken up wild camping and while I was trolling through the country side, I came across your field and I read through your seedlings. Fuck, is that? With a? Just the just swear words. At that point, you know they're not quite great, like yeah, please the full phrase. There was one that just said testy. Yeah, well, wonderful work, buddy. There is also another death. There is another definition for hungry, hungry hippos. That the first one was the top one, and this one says when you met yourself a bath and, as a man, obtain an erection, once the erection has been a pained yes, sound one, guys, it's over here. This is my erection now, oh,...

I found it. Oh Hell Yeah, fuck, yeah, I've just look at what I've just obtained. Yeah, anyway, once you have obtained said erection, you would grab your penis by the bottom of the chef, push it forward, hitting the water and bring you a penis back up just as quickly as you pushed it down. Doing this motion enough times makes your penis look like a hungry, hungry hippo. From the popular has row game hungry. There we go. Hey, this segment. Yeah, it's a pretty pretty mucky one, is it? You want to if you you want to host now, Alex Jack, give it a go. Take it away from Tom. Tom's not allowed it anymore. It's so hard. It's so hard to lead into my segment from the heady high it's a hungry hippos. I'll give us. I'm say, though, sorry just to interrupt you. I think the second definition far better. I'm just smashing your conk into a wonderful for it. Sorry. So, I mean. I hate to say it, guys, but I've been cheating on US last two weeks. I've been listened to another podcast. What, that's racism. I've done it. Yeah, I've been doing it. I've been sneaking about, skulking around after that, after dark, after hours, making up every excuse I could to get away from you so I could listen to once again, the macaroy brothers present the adventure zone. And he's done it again, guys. He's done it again, Griffin Maccaroy, he made me cry. Yeah, he's made with his stupid game, stupid game he plays with his family where they fight dragons inside of Dungeons, the inspiration for our episode ten special. Yeah, they made me cry with it again and it's been on my mind all afternoons. I finished it earlier, got to the finale, finished it right, and I was wondering in in that world, magic is everywhere and it's you know, people can just do spells and change things into things, and I was wondering what the implications of magic now today in this world? What implications would that have? Cool, right, podcast over pot podcast over guys. And there's a movie that you can watch, Alex. it's called Onward, Disney movie starring Tom Holland and Chris Pratt, and it's essentially what dungeons and dragons made it to the twenty one century. There you go. I completed it. Yeah, when we say magic, is this one's magic or is this natural magic? What's that? Sorry, you'll have to define that for me. So, like, is it magic comes from the Earth, or do you need do you need the magic comes from the earth, like do you if you know Yo kinds of nature? Yes, like, Hey, here's the ability to move shit around with your mind without having it fall on you or touching it with your little hands. So you talked about earthbending at that point, and we're onto APP are you what kind of like everything a reference to something I've not seen, because for some reason I'm just our yeah, I see, I thought I had a good one and we were going to enjoy talking about spells. Okay, well, I mean, Avatub like ruin, everything gone like. The thing is, though, is that the segment that you've come up with? As much as I love it, I mean, yeah, give me any opportunity to talk about magic and sit yeah, why not? You would love any of the two things I've just described simply for the fact that your segment that you've chosen is on magic. You'd love it. Honestly, Avatar, it's all about people that can bend the four elements, as airbenders, water benders, firebenders, an earthbenders, and then there's one guy who can do all four of them and he's yeah, but the word bender had like horrible, homophobic like connotations, and now it's just people that could do magic. Love it. Yeah, great, better word, better word for it, but yeah, if magic was real, let's move away from references, because Alex doesn't underssary. I fell asleep, I fell a stoop from sorry, and but Alex is napping. I would use magic to keep him awake. I said pop culture, is what I said,...

Alex, and you have you've just fucking don't even know what that is. So don't worry about it. Pop who? Pop Culture? Yeah, baby, in my house, I don't think so. I would. I would love the ability to make things float with my mind. That will be pretty cool. You know what the practical applications for that? That that's what I'm thinking. I be cold to be able to do it. Although, be no crowds, like you could teleport like that. Yeah, like there be no cars. Yeah, nobody would have to work, because you could do it all with magic. I think everybody would be working together to get better at magic. A okay, but then what if, though, so, just using the logic of Harry Potter, if you're not very well trained in apparating or disapperating, therefore, you'll end up, like, what's it like, splinching yourself or something like that. So, yeah, but how many people will get splinted versus how many people die in car accidents? Magic? True? Safe for the yes, true, okay, true, actual could point, but like you'd still have like a test for it. You got to you got to have lessons. Yeah, you wouldn't be allowed to operate without a life. You've got to opperate round a corner, you've got a opperate, apparate backwards into a base space. You have to APP Great Emergency Start, yeah, pretty quickly to a halt. Yeah, you got. You got. Don't pry into a child. No, yeah, can't be right. Signal apparate. You got, of course. Is Basically I'm look in front of your teleport, end up inside. Somebody was walking through your spot. HMM, it's just itpskirt all over again. Information, position, speed, gear, operate. That joke would have landed much better if you guys were advanced drivers. Yeah, I'm not, but I still got it. A good words, but I stipid. I still got it. I still honestly. I start get, I get humor. I've had. Yeah, I've heard humor before, you know. Well, I think I've had this flavor before. This one's yeah, alody. I've done. I've done comedy before and I've enjoy I've suckled on its sweet, sweet teat. We are all gathered around to suck the teeth of comedy listeners. You with us? You can be the Bro that holds up the teat that allows us to suckle. This is the worst sentence I've ever said. What about transmuting magic? And for any but any listener who's not really like played dungeons or dragons or isn't a huge Dweeb, that's just turning thing into it into another thing. Right. So, like what? Yeah, what would be the implications of me just being able to Alex turn your car into a frog? I think. Yeah, no, that was going to be my next point. Is there are, there is a great amount. They're fuck me. How do I sentence guys, John? Was that the podcast? Stop the PODCAST? How do I say words and ash ash and yeah, just like just what, whilst Alex is figuring out this sentence? Remember, remember last week when we got our corey reviews and Alex just sort of assumed the role of leading the show, even though you know I'm the actual host, but stive sometimes your post. Yeah, if, yea. Yeah, and do we think that it's times just like kick him off the show it, because, I mean like the one sort of basic part of having Alex just wait. No, no, we could don't interact. please. The directors meeting should I? Did I forget to worry? Tovp, no, get, no, it's fight, no, Nana, sob. I don't know why we're being conspiratory. Or last week I always described as the the jam outside by actually miming mopping. Why is he doing the MACARANA? This is terrible. Should we? Should we? I mean one of the basic parts of having a podcast is being able to say words. You know, it's an audio medium, so we just going to get rid of them, or so what I was gonna say was there's lots of pranks you could do with magic. You could do my pranks to people. That's what was gonna say, but I wanted to say eloquently how I sometimes do, but I couldn't wrap me head round the big woods. I wanted to say so nowtimes being the operative word in that fucking sentence right there, this body. So now what...

I'll do is I'll talk in this disjointed okay, sounds great one way. I think about the word that's coming out next as I'm saying the word I'm saying currently. That's how I speak. There's like no, you know, percent of the time I'm almost like I drank a considerable amount of petrol last week and it's having long term effects on me. Long term effects because it's bad for your lungs? I don't know, but I wonder whether or not the comedy around sort of, you know, pulling magic pranks would get quite old because of the fact that, like you know, as magic always existed. There is it just appearing in the world now, before we go only fair, let's set some fucking constraints. So essentially, you get a you get an alert on your phone and it's Steve Jobs and he's let you know there's a new update and that update gives you magical spells. So everybody just overnight figures it out. I'm going to be turning everything in my house into frogs, just because if you could do it, you'd want to know what your limits are. So you test it on yet that you'd start with more things like our here's a screwdriver, boom, it's now a frog. Are there's my neighbor's dog, boom, slightly larger frog. Are they actually rolled? And really is out here on the cutting edge, testing the limits of sheer arcane power by turning everything into frogs. You just owns a frog arey now Ashley's neighbors go straight to froggy style. Yeah, Oh wait, I'm always going straight to froggy style. Baby to as a wonderful callback. Ali there. Good Work and thank you, but thank you. Okay. So immediately then I've got like it's just purge, isn't it? For the first three months, what just go around of articadover and everybody which is just doing many crime, stealing, you know it, artificially inflating currencies. It take a while for people to wrap their heads around magic if it was just like an IOS update and that's it. Suddenly. Right, by the way, everybody, you can do magic now, but that's it, like there's no instructions, right, okay, so we're all going to have to like sort of create that arcane knowledge like from from scratch. So we're all gonna have to write the our ancient tomes and stuff. Hi, guys, Jeremy, welcome back to my youtube channel. Figure it out. This is how you were transmute stuff. Hey, get, hey guys, this is this is my minecraft infinite diamond tutorial in real life. Yeah, imagine the Youtube is like, hi, guys, this is my channel how to turn things into frogs. This was my sister's channel before unfortunate. So I'll taking over the channel and then the next episode is just his mother saying you can't turn mirrors into into frogs or toads. Guys, just to clarify, somebody note that one down. I last both my kids. That way. I would transmute this podcast into a good one. I turn into Frog Pad podcast, a frog cast, a front cast, a comedy talk show where three friends be frogs, a frog show where free frogs, Tree Frog you've now got a fourth one. My best three frogs, tree frogs. Yeah, hate that. Thanks. Okay, cool, you've got. You've now got like five intros. You Got Five I've in chosed to cut together, which is going to be excitingly excited. Firstly, is how I delivered that. I delivered that one better than I've live at the original one, like the first one we did today. The listeners, if you're if you're still here after my intro, that one was for you to make it up. This podcast, this episode, is just going to be a mess of things over. YEA for a good master cuts. Yeah, is that a good time to throw in the Ashley Listen Compilation? I'll please do it. Can we have that at the end of the episode? Wait, I'm going to say I'M gonna do one finally, listen, and then there it is. Oh No, no, in the interest of listener attention, listen, keep listening right to the end of this episode and you'll get to hear us saying listen like twenty five times. Yeah, listen, listen, listen. Is it to music or is it just me saying listen, Galleon Code? It to something? Alex hard stop and I'm going to make a clap and you're going to want...

...to delete what I've just said, and then every everything after it you can like cut in. Uh Huh. And also, guys, just a quick side note, whilst Alex is in the editing booth at stick around to the end to listen to a big compilation of Ashley saying the word listen a lot. Thank you and enjoy the shack anyway. Sorry that time, editing, that I'm just gonna have. This one's in your half. This is you in your half of the editing psych. I'll try and I'll try it. Okay, I'll try it. Listeners, I just said of things to cut into earlier in the episode and that's the magic of audio technology. That and that's how we bring Tommy. The magic was in you all along. Oh my God, I had the power to audacity. This is if you thought were just free board this and then released it to you. And we're funny with no like. We nobody free bases. We had it out for to five hours of content, mostly Tom Singing things. Yeah, German, pretty horrifying. Actually, no, I think the really the bad bit about it is how, when we finish this one, we then record exactly the same episode again, but we record it in Spanish. Yeah, that's no, no Bueno, no, no way, it's not now. It's not now related. So now in the in the next in the next cut, I'M gonna to say not good site, side, not side. Don't make sure that I say that the in English in the Spanish cut. Okay, I'm really not the way. All right, that on the White Board in the PODCAST recording studio was a nope till you someone fingering their man right now. That was the worst noise pitch, breathing it out for a second of it. All right, I was squeak. I was making a squeaky noise of a voice. I was doing a bit of Foley work. You know, it wasn't doing Foley, he was doing old fogies. Do we think just that one just getting straining to fucking old fogy style? That was regrettable. I've done doing this podcast for it. I've still got time on the segment bomb over it. It's a cool this one called time with death. It's there. Okay, I think it was. I think it was. I think it was actually the whole podcast. Really, we'd hit time of death before we started recording, on account of Ashley's poor introductory skills. You're a fat you're a horrible person. I work so hard on that, years of practice and it's still bad. It was still bad anyway. You know, try trys, try again, and sometimes you still won't fucking succeed. This has been a podcast. This has been a podcast. It's called the thirty three percent majority and we're really grateful that. If you stuck around to this point. We hope you enjoyed the cut of Ashley saying listen many, many times. If you stick around for this point, you're a fucking sucker. We got your money now, you idiot. Yeah, listen and Leet are just fucking did it. Myself to the end for the Tommy listen compilation. Everybody, leave us some some stuff on the instagram if you got any segment suggestions, any urban what the frictionaries? Any fucking am I the assholes? Or Ask creddit suggestions. We really appreciate your listenership. We're sorry as well deeply for the audio nightmare that is this show. Yeah, pretty much. It's pretty much fair. I can't disagree. There's general sentiment for the show. Really I've been your host Tom Hutchinson, I've been your host Alex Spring Thought, and I've also been your host Ashley Hall. Thanks for listening. See you next week. I'm not doing the baby. Why can't? I can't say bye straight away. I have to say it if somebody else does...

...it, and then I'd go next and then Tommy goes forty five seconds later. That's how we do. Okay, a closer think. Say you're the host again, close off and say you're the host again as thanks for listening. I've been your host Ashley Hall. Now you did it with an upwards inflection there, as if you were beginning, and I'm not as beginning. What I out remember you got a fade out. Now Yeah, I've been your host, Ashley Hall. I can't do it. I just applection. You Sound Australian, Ashley Hall, and you're fucking house can fucking kangaroo buddy. Fuck this. See you next week. Everybody, see you next week. Bye, bye, bye, listeners, bye. Oh, yeah, okay, listen, listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen, listen, listen, listen. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Lessen, listen, listen, listen, listen.

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