The 33% Majority
The 33% Majority

Episode 20 · 8 months ago

Ep. 20 - Sayings, Singing and Speed-Running

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Well hello there (prequel reference, nice). This is the nation’s favourite podcast ‘The 33% Majority’. We’re delighted that you’re joining us for episode 20.

In this week’s episode, your 3 old men (Ash, Tom and Alex) will each spend their 15 minutes of fame discussing the etymology behind well known idioms and colloquialisms, a brand new game straight from Tommy’s think meat, and a good old fashioned speed run, respectively.

And also, if you are here reading this, please share this show with a friend, family member, colleague, or even a stranger on public transport. We don’t plaster our logo on the side of busses yet, so in the meantime, you should be our unpaid advertising assistants. Feel free to pop it on your CV.

But why can't dogs look up? Scoop? Hello and welcome to the thirty three percent majority, one of the most popular Improv comedy podcasts in the United Kingdom. I am your host, Nimbus Altar, ready for the twenty episode Dungeons and Dragon Special, like we said we would do. No, it's definitely not that and I think you'll find it. I'm the host man who now hates dungeons and dragons, Tom Hutchinson. I think you're fine. Not only does Tom Hate Dungeon dragons, but he's not your real host. It's me, the real host, head bucket kicker, boocket kickers, another after whole. So nobody liked the dungeons and dragons one then huh no, we're not doing that. We're not doing DD. I know the people were cross about it. There was outrage. Like I think that it was probably because it was like in it was a replacement for a normal episode, in that we should have kept them separate. It's a good, good feedback. Listener, audience members. Thank you. Fair enough. Fair enough, the real cork, the real core cats out there. We're outraged to find that they'd actually been duped into listening to DD. Yes, exactly. Not everyone's a nerd. It turns out there is leather jacket wearing fucks. How are you both then? Well, really good, really, really good, actually really good. Tom Should we? Shall We talk about it? To want to talk about yeah, let's listen. Do it. Let's do it. You, Ladies and Gentlemen, are listening to the forty one most popular improvised comedy podcast available in the United Kingdom. Last week. Yes, as of last gets less glamorous. The more you say it, the longer the sentence, the less glamorous. But now we made the apple podcasts charts. We're in the top one hundred baby of Improv comedy podcasts, of which there can only be like maybe three hundred and sixty. I imagine when you say we are forty first that immediately my brain goes to. That means there's forty better than us. But actually there's seven billion people on this planet. If everybody has a podcast, which they do, we're up there, which yeah, which they do. If you've recorded a phone audio note of you speaking at any point, it's basically a podcast. That's a post I saw. The podcast is it's just an extremely private and special one, but obviously the words you were looking for was exclusive. Yes, that's the word. That's yeah, language is a thing. Language is a thing that people do and I'm not one of them. We obviously, you know, we put, we try sometimes to put a lot of effort into this show. Talk shows pronounced podcast cast. HMM, okay, and but we vote. We've only really got you guys to thank for US actually, you know, being on a chart and being recognized as popular, and that's, I don't know, as really really touchings of podcasting. That's right. Yeah, but I like how you said being recognized. I was going to cut you off just there and be like, that's right. I've been stopped four times in the street this week. People Throw EGS at me. Main host, Ashley Hall. No Way, on my bus in my Christian neighborhood. You should leave. It does just go to show how important word of mouth is. If you listen to this podcast on a regular, semi regular, infrequent, never listen to it before basis it's so important. If you enjoyed it at all, just let somebody know. Hey, sell them a link. That's a podcast. It's got my good friends, my best friends Ashley, Alex and Thomas, and then they tell you about things and you would like it, even if they would yes, that's so true. That's the key part. Even if they wouldn't like it, still tell them, especially if they wouldn't like it. And also, just to add to your point, Alex, and for those of you that are currently listening to this episode twenty of our podcast and on Apple podcasts, please leave us a review, write some nice words. That also really, really helps us. And and I would probably say around about now, we could, we could stop with the e begging and the e groveling. Come what can I can? I do one more, I'll go on, go on, then one more let's as. If you don't do it, I will kick my cat down the stairs. WHOA, because my cat's looking at me right now with a look of discussed. It's like he knows what's coming. Winston, I'll keep you safe. Seems like it's more of a goof on you, though, buddy, because you got to cover them better. Vet Bills, bet bill's, yeah, words and bet language. You should really. It's not my job to cover the vet bills because, like you're you're implying that he might survive. Oh, that's to pay for the funeral. The playing a dark, dark and mysterious game. So as anyone got the anecdotes? What's your weeks been like, gents? My...

Week pretty good, I think. Oh, I was nearly murdered today. I was nearly killed. Two pieces. Cool Way to bury the lead. Mate. Why were you nearly murdered? Well, I was well, I was driving my state of the art Nissan Micra along the motorway doing seventy miles an hour, thank you very much, officer, and the current front of me came to a dead stop for no reason and I was like, Oh shit the fuck, this isn't good, and I just heard tire squeals into a pickup truck just approaching speedily from the rear, and I thought I was to be murdered by a pickup truck today, but it wasn't. So glad, glad, you lived. Just frightening. She's really frightening. Yeah, I like how you inferred that, like you, you're the Nissan would do more than seven. To you were like seventeen miles per hour, officer, like it's going to do more than that. It's barely does that. have to cut this bit. I'll have to cut this bit from the podcast. And I had it up to ninety six. Fuck off this. How did it not explode? As you can't hear this, but that was a that was a much faster speed than seventy. Look it's about to take off. Bet is the sound of a turbine spooling up. We'll just implode. I'm surprised you didn't enter another plane of existence. Good grief, and who knows, I may have done for a brief moment. My Life's just so good. This is just what heaven is. Yeah, I I don't actually have an anecdote this week, as I think my week definitely peaked when the podcast did really well on apple podcasts. So it's that's it for me. Absolutely. It's almost sad how happy I was when Alex sent that message through. I also like the review we got on apple podcasts with anyone like to read the review? Or shall I do the honors? Go for it, there, you don't gone, you do the whole buddy. So just three mates talking brilliant dot, dot dot. I can't see the rest. It probably says brilliant shit. This podcast will have you in stitches from the offset. Yeah, you fucking know it won't. Baby that. And then the rest of it's just them complimenting me and how handsome and strong I am. And My name is a vides to accompany these reviews. Yeah, it's Josh Jjb zero three sounds like a user. Well, JJB STANDS FOR JUICY JOB Leye boy. I assume my space it could only be the one, only juicy job lie bolls. I know why the audience that one's Tom's brother. Little bit hurt by that. Huh, Josh? But yeah, if you need us a review, I will read the first sentence of your review, no matter how vulgar it is, and I might even say your name in a second Dulcet tone. There you go. They you can puppet one of our hose. Exactly, put your hand inside of me like Kermit the frog and make me say things. Where what? You can wear one of us like we're a glove. How about that? I'd like like go back to coat. You can claim that side of me like a lovely, luscious Parker. It's me. You're human scuba suit. Ashley. No, we're not urban. What the frictionary yet as I think we should stop this, why don't you host? I'd love to host. So it's good that I'm feeling eloquent today because I'd like to talk to you about all the weird shit that people just say that doesn't make sense, things like hold your horses or, you know, like calling somebody like a certain name that if you're not from here, if you're not from Britain or this part of Britain, you're probably not going to know it. So I'd like to start by asking you both. What's an Anak? When you call somebody an Anaak, what does that mean? That an an Iraq is like as a coat? Yeah, firstly a coat, but like a nerdy expert, the sort of person that collects like toy trains and scale extra, which there's nothing wrong with, Alex. you're not going to believe the example I have written down. Thomas is such an ANAAC when it comes to his toy creit toy train collect example I have got written down now. I I actually I used to have a massive toy train collection, like a Kich you to yeah, Fuck Yeah, that for me is such a topgear UK turn a phrase like I can hear Jeremy Clarkson calling someone an ANNAAC. Now I'm doing nice voice and doing a round, something more and he's like, yeah, this man is the biggest Anorak in the world. HMM, not quite like that, not quite. I try, as I liked yours, so I'm going to move on to a different one that's less obvious. Where do we think the phrase gets my goat comes from? You know, when something fucks you off or pisses you Oy, okay, that's really got my goat. That as where do we think that came from, because goats are, as far as I'm aware, of carming. If there was a goat in that came from, there was a man. There was a man famously, and his name was shameless alias, not a it's they his name was shameless alias. You had a goat, he actually had. He had three goats and one goat got nicked and shameless ilius was really angry about it. He was so upset that somebody nick's goat and he went to bed and he was he fuming. Then woke up in the next morning and a second goat had been nicked, and then went to bed.

He was even more human, even more human. He woke up with the third day and his third goat was missing. He turned to his wife, rage bubbling over the top of his head and he said God's really got my goat. that as that's that's got all three of my goats. I can't believe. I'm so annoyed. I'd be pretty crust thirty three percent of my goats. Then they had sixty six percent of my goats. Then they had ninety nine percent of my goats and I can't believe they only left one percent of my goats. I am upset. Kind of God's Jamers Ilius. What's his second? In idiously, what did you say, Tom I've just I said a liars, but Ilius is fine, and then I just made different noises. Kind of my localized it, and that's fine. I just I just felled in the gaps with what I thought was appropriate. I imagine doing that to somebody who introduces themselves with a really difficult name. They're just like hi, my name is Marcus Aurelius, and you go thanks, Steve Asda. We're safety. Where does it actually come from, Ashley, because I'll be honest, I don't know if it. If it, if it was obvious, I did make my one up. He did goof that one. Oh well, it's weird that I have that written down names and all the phrase gets my goat comes from their essentially, what they used to do is they used to put goats in with race horses the night before a race because apparently goats have a calming presence amongst horses. I imagine it's because it's just like having a smaller person around taking a face, because goats are a good shag. Oh, okay, quick, pre race, quickie. Speaking from experience, there Alex a Quicki, a quick he's or you could have with a goat because they get away too quickly. Otherwise, any time I let a small man ride my back while I run quickly, I've got to over, got to have shocked a goat. Can't do it without right. I refuse to do it without. If I haven't, if I haven't showed the go I'm not very quick. Was the slow when he falls. It is all concerning. But yeah, apparently they used to have used to have goats in with race horses at night and then they would win the races the next day assumed Lee because they were terrified at being putting back in the small room with the goat again. Uh Huh. Another one I've got, also horse related. Where do we think hold your horses comes from. Oh, I know that one. I know that one. It's it's like before, like before a race. You'd say like, like, it's like a because it's stable. Stay, stable, like they're in a stable. Stay, so I'm going to be a stable thing. Is actually a hold your horses. Number three is actually still in the goat, as you could if you look closely, you can see the goat hanging underneath him. He is running the race. He still got his goat. raptime like a hot air balloon. It's like the the Chamber of a bloop. That implies that there's even smaller people inside of gay being transported. Guys, did you hear when I said Horsenburg? Oh No, it's the whosome books aster. The goats exploded. fucking how. So, Tom Although the stable thing makes sense, hold your horse has be stable. That's not where it comes from. It's actually the seventh seenth century, when someone would break a law or a certain law, they would trample them to death with horses. The person in charge hold your horses and then would tie the law break out onto a piece of wood and lay him on the ground. Oh right, okay, so much more morbid. Yeah, lots of these are got pretty fucking dark meanings in mind. That as dark as wholesome Burg. But I can't believe how much of a niche reference Horsenburg is to the HINDENBURG disaster. Like that's so fucking good. It did look good on a t shirt, though. Wouldn't well howsome go underneath a horse? We couldn't actually have it fucking the goat, though, could are you? It could be heavily imply hanging on with its little hooves just blurred out. It's all censored in that yes, sense of blocks. Yeah, exactly, what a way to go, to be trampled by Shitload of horses, though. It's not a good way to go, is it? Like it's not what you choose really is, especially if they had goats attached to them. That's just had an insult. It is. Think of the cacophony, the noise of that, the volume your fleets, whinnie's nays and hooves. Oh dear, they nays and hooves is the name of my nail nail sell on that, I'm openly but look, but not your punk rock band. No, I was gonna say that. For the now is like somebody's going to call me out for reusing that. I've got you anyway. Can I interest you both in another horse based one? Are they all horse bas it all about horses. This week's episode sponsored by horses. Now the phrase don't look a gift, and I type this explicitly for Alex. don't look a gift horse in the Meaf, which is how Alex says mouth. Right, okay, only if there's more than one mouth. But there's MEF. Oh well, I feel I've miss used the word there. And...

...if there's two horses, it's heath, is it? I thought houses, two houses were a heath. No, that's a haste. Don't, don't taste, don't look the gift. He's in the meaves. Yes, yeah, there you go. Don't check up. Don't dentally examine any ponies really, if you can help it, unless you're a horse dentist or a head, which I think is it. Yeah, horse sentist. I think that's exactly what this is. I think, yeah, it's about is it just about looking horses in their mouths because they get bite? Is it a horse of duntist? I've heard about being bitten by horses. No, because that they have like human teeth and horse with sorry, I misheard that. Was that a horse with human feet? Tea, oh, human teeth. As he stolen them or was he born with them? No, don't. Don't they have like humanesque teeth, like molars and incisives? Don't they have? They have got just weird tome. I just seen a bad photoshop like when horses smiled grin, I did right up until that moment. I thought that, until I actually like thought about it and processed it. Of course they fucking don't. I'm sorry about that glimpse into my brain. How they got much longer faces than we have. Yeah, so the actual phrase comes from the way that you determine a horse's age easily is by looking at its teeth, because they grind their teeth down. And Look at the rings. Yes, yeah, you cut the Horse in half and you just count the Rings. You have to count twice there if there's a goat underneath its total and subtract the goat. But you've got to square it, and that's how you get the accurate age of a horse. Go squared divided by Pie. How do you work out the radius of a horse? Now, mustn't go off on a fucking horse diff shore the Horse course, apple. Ask Apple Pie, as square apples are really like prominent for horses to they love an apple, don't they? Do they? Yeah, horses fucking love apples. Man, are you what he sexpert? I have a couple more, but they're less so. The saying kick the bucket, which I used in the intro. Where do we think the saying kick the bucket comes from? Kicking a bucket feel like that's got something to do with a suicide. Maybe that's not far off the truth. Yeah, being being hanged on a bucket with a with a noose with a nice around it, hanging out with your nice and then you kick a bucket together you die. I don't like hanging out with what are you doing this weekend? I just hang it out with my niece. It's been nice. We were in the south, the front. Little voice called knees, my niece, money, my niece and my knees. We hung out in knees. It's very nice. I broke my knee and knees with my niece. These are all fucking Pau said. I broke, I I broke. I broke my knees with my niece's in Nice whilst I needed some bread. Know, is there anything there? Almost I have. I have a word that I didn't know until today. Katawampus or Catti whompus. What do we think Catti whompus is? No, that's just syllables. That's just random. Some of US cut it. There's IT's on cattiwempus. It's just all a bit crazy. Welcome on board the Crest Train. It's just a little bit catty wampus. Seven's just I think it just means like yeah, just there's a chaos of foot welcome to this mismatched abundance of things in places they needn't be, with stuff happening that oughtn't not be. Everything's just a little bit Catti whomp us, a little bout catty wompus. I ward one point to either one of you can spell catty wompus for me. I'll give it a go. See You do one letter and I'll do the next one. Okay, see, you fucked it. Tom Loses that round. See a double t y Ompus, mpus, which is just a circle with three lines through it. It's pronounced opus. I M I think of UMLOUTS and that's a different thing in time. Yeah, that's so Swedish, isn't it? Chest of drawers you can buy from Ike, Ikea, name that Shit. I love it so much. I like there. There's a bookcase called an Adam, which I just like. This is Adam. He's my bookcase. I think there's one called Alex as well. I think you can buy me, if you'd like, Alex in your home. He'll hold your books for you, but he does charge at least a minimum wage. You know, I think I'm the chest of drawers. I think I can hold your pants, I can hold you. I can hold your pants and miscellaneous undy's. If you'd like, you can hold my pants. I'm gonna now fill in what the listeners are all begging for, the desh definition of a word they'll never use. CATTY WOMPUS is a variant of catawampus, another example of Grand Nineteen Century American Slang. In addition to a skew catawampus, there's in like it. The piles are skew. It's all catty wompers. A catawampus may refer to an imaginary fierce wild animal or may mean savage destruction.

Yeah, I feel like I was kind of on the right track. If I used if I used it in the context I knew it as, I wouldn't have they any off. I think you went far off. I think you could have used it like craziness. I'm fine with that. Craziness. That's one of my favorite things in the world is over saying the word crazy. I heard Dan Avidan from game grump say that he likes to call it pizza places order the pizza in a completely normal voice, but then when he says crazy bead he likes to just put a little too much emphasis on it. So, for an example, he might might say, yeah, I'll have a pepperoni pizza, I'll have some fries and I'll have a little bit of crazy brain, just on the phone to the fucking guy. You know, it's a word that lends itself well to being said the way. That what the what it is. Did it? That makes sense? Like if you say crazy in a crazy way, it's good, if you say happy in a happy way, that's good. I've never heard you say anything and not a happy voice. You're a labrador of a person in that I feel like you could have been stabbed to death in your last words probably would have been a Shitty joke in a fun voice. Probably. I was going to give you an example of me saying something in a not happy voice. But the energy is really nice today. I just don't want to ruin it with it just a shit gag. So I'm just gonna say up here the energy is nice because I actually spent some time prepping today. I was going to I was going to say that you, you're kind of built like a Labrador, to Alex, but I'll fuck out, I will head, but you nintendo switched. I'm I'll do it. Is this for me. I love Nintendo Wolf. NOPE, please. It sustained so much damage already from dog butts. Dog headbuts head. But from time Tom I'm gonna really make it. I'm going to make a right mess if your joy cons and to get your left and you're right bumper, and I'm gonna just darn slob room, Slab Room Up. Okay, Alex is offering to Slob and on that I submit my resignation from my segment. Actually, thank you for your time here at the thirty three percent majority conglomerate your effort. I'd like to say it's been good if it's been much appreciated. You're P forty five will be with you shortly. Wonderful that was. That was the most prompt any any of us, have ever actually finished our segment. Say, well, you can't really, you can't actually say it. That's so metter, because I'm actually going to have to cut some stuff out of that. So it will be like fourteen minutes long, thirteen minutes, forty eight seconds. Well, Hacken, let me add something on then. Where do we think the word daddle came from? Donald Note, see you later. I like this segment, Ashley. Can you bring it back in a future day? I will. You should like that one. A recurring segment. We like it, Ashley, and anyway. Now it's time for that smutty one. Yay, you can't call Alex that anymore. Is Re formed. He's not the smarty one anymore. He's changed. Yeah, tell of food now. I'm still gonna FUCK A go. Welcome back, everybody, to our regular segment between the segments urban the freak channary. God, those silences were pregnant with anticipation. Yeah, that was what I was going for. Tommy's words of furtile. Tom You've given me an anxiety about this. Now Alex has got a condition. Now I've caught nervousness. What what is this one, Tom just before I introduce it, for any new listeners today, urban what the Frick Shinnary is a segment between segments where we take random urban dictionary entries and we just try and figure out what the frick they mean. Now, the one that we've got today, boys, is beach spiders, crabs. Yeah, that's what actually that was the first thing that came to my mind as like yeah, crabs in it. I like yeah, I like that. spiders or or is a beach spider? What you call it? You know, when you see to people trying to have like relations at the beach, and we've all been there, when you're under a towel and you think you can't be seeing. I mean no, but go on, Oh, you can see. It's like four arms, four legs for arms, four legs sticking out from underneath the towel as they try and find each other at the beach. It's a beach spider. So I think they look like a beach spider. That one is on theme, Wither Than Dictionary. But to go back to your crab point. Firstly, I like it because that is what it is, Speech Beach Spider. But don't you remember that beach trip we went on that Steve Rest his soul said you weren't allowed to go on the company retreat. Yeah, when we went, I loved it. At a great time. When we went there, we saw a million crabs, but they were all just on the sand and they were all dead. So crabs aren't actually very good at being crabs, I have concurred. Okay, what are they extinct? Because all they do is dark or become delicious, delicious food. Isn't that what every animal does, though? Don't we all just expire at some point? Maybe they've just got a short shelf life and short shell life. Really set me up for that one. God, really, you...

...know, listeners, that wasn't planned. We didn't plan that. Fuck. Yeah, Tom Messaged me three weeks ago say mentioned crabs and I should be ready. So hang on, guys, I've lost it. I've lost my place in the script. What page? We aren't thirteen? Just after you were fucking horses with goats. No, all the way around, you fucking goats with horses. Right, I've got it. Yeah, Alex here here right. Can I borrow your highlighter? Yeah, don't, I don't they go. Alex's prop work is phenomenally always has like a Sheaf of papers nearby, like it's the fucking two thousand, wasn't it? It's my kill list. I just opened an iphone. There's no noise for that, the sound of capitalism. As your guess is that it's two people having relations under a towel. Alex, I think. I think that is on brand with a pre dictionary. I hope it's crabs, though, because if that's true, that that's quite sweet. I had itching and I hoped it was crabs too. Yeah, you see, I that's actually where my mind was going. Something to do with an STD like crabs. Yeah, just anxious or looks sake. Okay, anyway, beach spiders. Let's find out. Okay, so, beach spiders. We were all wrong. The best dictionary over, that's the definition. Just beach spiders. We were all wrong. It's it's it's smutty as pair, but it's not what you said as so beach spiders are visible pubic hair from an unkempt Bush that protute protrudes from Bikini Bottoms and no, I don't mean spongebob's city, and it's most often spotil is. It's a whole series of questions, because, first of all, why is pubic hair like frowned upon? Like it grows. It's obviously meant to be a ash hey, hey, as hey, hey, hey, you know, this thing that I'm reading doesn't imply negative or positive. Or we just had a freudian slip from Ashley there. Ashley thinks pubic hairs negative. Yeah, secretly I hate pubic hair. I wax religiously. You think it's creepy and gross. I am a bearded gentleman and I put on a face mask in front of my father, want like early days pandemic, and he looked at me and said that it reminded him of the S. Yeah, okay, right, okay, cool, classic. Yeah, well, that is what it was, and you know what, it's one of it's one of the better urban dictionaries that we've had before. I think I liked that one. I like that. Yeah, Little Beach spiders. I'm going to kiss Alex on his beach spider. Oh yeah, quick, quick, Tom, distract him. Guys, I feel like hip hop used to be a voice for the voiceless. You know, Uh Huh. Now it's become, at least in the mainstreamer symbol of Misogyny, gay panic fiscal irresponsibility, and so I figure if you can't beaten, make fun of them, and by my new game, Bohemian crapsody. Love that. Oh that was very I like. It has bud yes, but almost a pun in and of itself, because Tom is bow for show, a born Bostonian area library in the words with its Sonian. HMM, my game Bohemian crapsody is it goes as follows. I have some actual lyrics mixed in with some really, really fake lyrics, and I'm a read am out, and you too, you get the honor of no deciphering, the privilege, yes, of deciphering whether it's a real one or a crap one, a crapsody, if you were. Sorry, at these lyrics that you have written. So some of them are real, some of them are ones from Tommy's head. Yeah, so you've paradised songs for a fucking fifteen minute segment our podcast. HMM, that's excellent, Tom I'm beside myself with excitement, anticipation of Glee. Let's go then. Okay. So the first lyric of Bohemian crapsody, my most most delectable creation. That voice was horrific. You're welcome. The first one goes as follows. I tickle her kidney and then I watch Disney. That's actually a song by a surgeon who is also seven years old. Precisely so, knowing what I know about Tommy, Tommy likes his like trap music. I think that's...

...what it's called, and that does seem like the sort of lyric you would find that Sean it does. Yeah, to Kassi nine, he tackles her kidney and then he watches Disney because he is twelve. I think that one's real Tommy. I also think it's real Tom Sweetboy. Well done, boys. Congratulations. You both have one singular point. That song is called thick by a fella named D Bangs, and that's all one word and with a Z at the end. D bangs and maybe itches. I look at it not take your home a weekend of these FIDIS are come to your city as naking your chimney. I took or a kidney and now watch Disney. If it's all one words, are you sure it's not de bangs. Thank the barn burn. Alex and me went through a phase of just fucking screaming that in public. You know, lovely, okay, okay, and second one. His Dick Smaller than my toes. I'd rather ride squidward knows that was Shakespeare. I think you've confused lyrics with poetry. Time it's Chaucer, the influence. I think that's real. I think that might be Cardi B or some yeah, I do too. I think that's real. Or if Tom wrote it, something's wrong. So the unfortunate state of affairs. But yes, I think it's real. You guys were both right. It wasn't Cardi B. It was cutcake, and the song absolutely is called Squidword, nosdams, my toslore, my sols. I read the boy know. Are you sure it's not Cook Ka Ki? Is that KKAE at the end? It is KK because you don't say Book Ake Dar, you say Bokak. If you're intoact. Ashley's a Fan. Apparently, exactly that's what I was thinking. Okay, through a Bukkaki Pot pie my boyfriend last night he came over. Everybody was there. You should have seen his face. Oh Yay, number three don't touch my cereal. I'm a bad bitch. I hope that once to toll me. I'm just imagined him sat in this kitchen like right, I've got right, some Shit Song lyrics here. What can I see? Oh, I know, some cheerio that walks in with a spoon and he's fighting or after although I do think that the the ultimate twist at the end of this, this game, is going to be that they are all real and all horrifying. Against my better judgment, I'm going to say that this one isn't tell me one. I'm going to say it's real, just to be contrary into Alex. Oh, okay, wow, we've got we've got our first fifty s fourt okay, uh Ash, Tom, you got it wrong. Alex was right. F's in the chat, which means that you wrote that. So I'm the real winner here and you're the real loser here. Again, now that I know for certain that it came out of your think meat. Give it give it to me straight, give it fresh. Don't touch my serial. I'm a bad bitch, Tom, you are a bad so it's actually yeah, touch the seeal me. Okay, number four, twin pines me and my killer got hard together. It's got subtextu all back to the future reference in there, but twin pines, me and my kid I got hard together. Is Is this actually the true story of me falling in love with the man that was going to murder me before realizing we're both very sexy? Just checking in. It's killer with an a, by the way. That changes everything. That changes a lot of things. Do I think that Dr Emmy L Brown? I don't think that he would spell it with a name. I feel like he'd spell it like h killer. Yes, I think this is a real one. I don't think that this is a Tommy Creation. I'd like to disagree with Alex, just for the sake of it once more time. Baby. Okay, well, Alex, Uh Huh, lucky for you, Ashley is still is now at the same score as you. You're both now equal because you've got it wrong. He got it right. So that chick a chick out. So I forgot what I said. What does that mean? Is that a real one or a fibit one? You said it was real and you were wrong in saying that. Ah, that was another Tommy Creation. That was a Tommy One, much like me and my killer. They come in Pairs. Yeah, and the the back to the future reference was I was wondering whether you would have caught on to that. So so would you missed a trick there, Tom I'm so sick bread crumbs for Alex. where am I? Cultural references? That I only me and you know I'm so sick. So making things from wood, you would say. Give that a go. I think I...

...should. was that one real ass or was that? Was that Fakel I've Alex. I feel like you snuck that in for me and it was very, really like. Real is in like you meant it, not real is in like that. That one's James Blunt. That one's James Blunt. Well, I like that one. Okay, the next one. I'm at the crib playing fortnight with your grandma. Wish you the best of luck, sir. She has ourthritis and can't use a controller. She's mass and keyboard mate. Granny's out there, just no scoping falls across the map. Granny's out here getting fucking tilted. No scoping kids. She's got our own brand of like, what is it? Game of fuel? That's gesucks. Granny's wrong in those stupid IDPI. She can just friggin spin around. Three hundred and sixty seven, twenty, no scope. These kids even know what's coming. Her KD is seven thousand. She's never died. She's brought out her own controller attachment for OAPS. It's called the granny grip. Granny Granny Grip is how I describe now. You know what, I'm not going to make that joke. I better than that. Yeah, you are better than that, Tom I any distracted and I forgot what the lyrics were. Something about Granny Grip, I know that much. I'm at the crib playing fortnight with your grandma. I think it's real. I think that was a Tommy Creation. Point to Ashley. Well, there, baby, my grandma gets all the DPI. Who is that tone? Death by M them. It's I can make point, ran with banana eating grand swords like Nipper Jamis. It's a crib clean for it. Make which gramma what I'm more like Aminem Manmin them said that Mamin them Eminem can't play fortnight at my grandma's house. He's older than her. Savage my disk track against eminen's. Next week, by the way, guys. Okay, the next one. Before you came into my life. I missed you so bad. Oh No, I think that's just a bad I that's real. Is that that one? That one's the Taylor swift one, but I think he's done it bad. I think he did a word that, isn't it? Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad and it's just so about. It's not fucking Taylor Swift. Is Cut. I've changed one else, isn't it Karlie Jepson? Maybe? Okay, fine, it look it can be whoever you want it to be. I thought he'd done a trick and then you sang it and then it felt right. So I think that one's a real one. It's called me maybe. Well done. You both get points because of that very, very overplayed song. I yes, so job to Ashley. Thanks, babies, I did. I did nothing for that. I thought the whole opposite until Ashley. I didn't earn that at all. Okay, the next one. Like a compact disc Gone Wild, she going ced's nuts. Know that one is a Tommy One. I've been caught by this trick one too many times. I will not fall a fool for your trickery, employs Thomas Hutchinson. That one is a Tommy Creation. I agree with Alex. you're both right. You know me so well. Tom's going to help me see these nuts, though, so I'm here for it. Absolutely independent, man, I might just suck my own Dick. Ha Ha, ha ha. That's got to be fucking there. That did not come for your mind, Tom you're better than that as a person. I think it's real. But so much. If me wants to to a been a tommy originally, so much of me? What's a little part of me? What do bulls I want on to have made that exist? Oh, he's just told that to fuck off his serial. Now he's going to suck his em Dick. Unfortunately, it's a real song. It's called introvert by rich Brian. My ways and my young men think my old is a never got there trying to get myself my young group being in a better man. I'm just on my yon do just that's not one of my creation. Thanks, Rich Brian. Is Riches first name, or is that just like a an adjective? I think he's crying for Richard. Or is it wealthy Brian? I guess we'll never need might be he might be fluent Brian. Affluent, Brown, well off, driving so fast, about to Piss on myself, driving so fast, about...

...to Piss on myself, driving so fast, about to piss on myself. That's my ring tone. It's Alex broke good here crying in the background. That one's what if it was creating a beat for I agree Tommy original. It's, it's, it's, it's to the tune of the Thomas the tank engine theme. I'm making that into a ringtown song, downloadable and all of our audience can have it. I hope that's a Tommy original. Please, Ash, I can, just to be contrarian. I've changed my mind. I don't think I think it's real. I think it's real. Well, don't Ash. You're on eight points now, Alex, you're on six. That's that one is called for by four, by Miley. So Iris. I'm a female on the dashboard, shift a nails, lean at the windows. I Anna Go. JOMON's all fast, but the PISAR myself. Jimon's all fast, but the PISAR myself at least want to get him and put in him a jail. Highly me. Why have you done that? Why this? I feel like Miley Cyrus has stolen that from my friend Tom this is plagiarism. Will see you in court. Miley, sit here. Hannah, you left your fridge open. Somebody just took a sandwich. Okay, Tommy wrote these. Tommy wrote these in the kitchen a hundred percent, as proved by the serial one. I think it would have been a roundabout lunch time today, because he was excited in the group chat about a segment. He was looking around for INS, both Saori's Cheerios and that with a spoon, and thought, Yep, that's the serial one done. And then I think he watched Natalie make a sandwich. This is got to be a tommy original. I've got about seven of these wrong in a row as I think it's real ash. You're right again. You're just seeking lyrical genius. Guys, my EP's dropping next week. It is an Minem disc track mixed with like. I'm going to Piss on myself. Okay, that one was by Kanye West, a song called wolves. You try to play Nice. Everybody just took you vantage. You love your food job with. Somebody just took a sandwich. Just sad, baby wood. Thanks, Kanye, thanks calling you. Okay, next one. Can't anybody catch a break. Forty Calipers on my floor. Forty Calipers? What? Colorp what? Somebody's that it measuring? No, break, colorpers somebody's about to catch a break. Or Calipers on the floor? That's gotta be a Tommy Special. Surely I don't know. I think that one's ring. I'm just not sure. I think that's real. What am I saying then? So, so, Alex, you think reals. I think it's a Tommy special. Ash, you know your lyrics so well. That is a Tommy special. What do I get for winning this game my life? We swap places in life on the timeline. You become phenomenal, brilliant. Okay, you win my mortal box. As soon as I become you, I'm going to start saying some real problematic shit. I don't need any help with that. It's all right. So the next one is but why can't dogs look up scoop? It's a Tommy special. That means you an ironically wrote down the word script Tom. Can I ask how skirt is spelled? Yeah, hold on all all caps. See Era Kilo Romeo, Sierra Kilo Romo and use it a sentence for me. SCUR scurr. I'm Scurr in the whip. Thank you. I don't think that was a Tommy special because that was the single least gangster sentence I've ever heard of him saying. FOR IT TO BE TOM my friend, Alex's just hoping and dreaming of this game. Yeah, because these are phenomenal and I want Tom to have said them. I don't want anybody else to have thought of these seriously. I want Tom to have thought them up as a trick. It's a Tommy specialist. I will make a pair of earrings to whoever sends me the best Tom Lyric. If you send me a Tom Lyric with a picture of Tom and like the words underneath in quotations, like an inspiring picture of our I will make you a pair of earings. First Person To Send Me, send me that. Okay, so what we say in Alex you feel, yeah, real hope, and I don't think it's real. I think Tom is the screwmaster. Okay. Well, you got it...

...right again, as you're on now that one. This is just disappointing because the only read, the only way of a vote, it was just in hope that you had thought of them, but actually it was just other people I'm just disappointed music. Wait that Alex is throwing his ipat out the window as we speak. I think. I think we're out of time. Guys, I had about eighteen more of them. Can we do this again? This is a good segment. I like that. That was fun. Another segment. I want that one again to yeah, I will. So, I will save them for next time. I have so many of them. I thought it we were going to go so much quicker. So, yeah, we got we got some, some, some backlog to go through. The question is is, what? What's backlog slang for? Now, ever, it's a poor joke and I'm very sorry the way we be shitting anyway, shall we hop aboard the money train to Cho motherfucker just pulling into stay, so hot and ready now, Tom Tom the upholstery on the money train is lovely. All of the staff here superbly friendly and wonderful. What we do? That form does smell like Piss, though. What are we doing here, though, because usually we do another urban what the fructionary? Yeah, so the reason why we've jumped aboard the money train today is because, as far as I am concerned, and I think you guys too, we are going to be dropping urban what the frictionaries down to one per episode and our second break in between segments will sort of going forward be dedicated to advertising segments. I suppose that's it. Were still a comedy Litlt, I assume. Oh, of course were. You hit apple podcast chart fame and that's it. We've sold out immediately. Janes, I've got corporate sat behind me holding a script, not Steve, though obviously it's not. Still one of them has a taser. I said something. I'll script. Help me, Sally know, the view for the ads and the sponsors would kind of just be to reinvest in the show, make it sound better, get it more places so we can all record from our individual yachts. Yes, no, no, yeah, jacked, give us yashed, give yatched, that little yatch T it's the hero of cavatched. No one's going to get that. Nobody's going to get a hear of cavatch reference and I'm very sorry. No, you're so old. The reason why we wanted to sort of HOPP aboard the money train this week and, I suppose, prepare the regular listeners is because, although you know, adverts can be at times, you know, unwieldy, a bit annoying to listen to. We wanted to explain that we reached out to, you know, some different companies and some different podcasting networks to try and get some support with regards to adverts, so that we can basically the support and the money that we get from those adverts put back into the show to either, you know, sort of increase our own advertising to let more people know about the show and but also to help us with, you know, things that we might need to do and hopefully one day host. Hosting the show ain't free. There are costs for making a podcast. There are costs. Our time is valuable and, as we all know, there's never enough of it and advertising would give us that opportunity to spend that time without feeling like it is time. I forgot. We was go right. I'm lost. I thought I thought what you were going to say is that we were going to use the money to buy a time time machine. Anyway, by a time machine then, yes, in for no time. Yeah, we just wanted to let you guys know and sort of introduce you guys to the money train, as it were. And but just to let you guys know that we really like doing this and the hope is that, you know, we can build it up over time to where we might be able to do this as a fulltime job, which means that we can bring you episodes on a more regular basis or even episodes of a different brother cousin podcast kind of things, something that's still the thirty three percent majority, but also a different format and event. It gives us the scope to try new stuff out, like the dungeons and dragons. One absolutely try new things, spend more time on it and also one of the main complaints I get from from the people that I know that listen to it is that it isn't long enough. As we as we all know, our Lord Savior, Father, daddy of all, Jerrogan, just three hour for our long format. That would be so much fun, but we'd have to do it in person, because otherwise it just isn't doable, and to get that time to do that...

...requires a day off work. None of us can afford a day off work. It would be nice to have that. Yeah, it would be. It would be brilliant if we could all actually sort of do this in the meat space in front of each other, you know, to bring it, you know, bring a different energy and also, as Ashley said, you know, if we're able to do if we've got the free time we could, we can pump out more stuff that's still high quality. Like we could still do that right now, but I'm certain that at that point the quality would start to dip quite significantly. So it's a bit of information for you. If you want to help us directly with this new thing we're going to be trying, not a problem at all. Anybody can can jump on board the money train. Or you need to do is set up a limited company. Create you know, have several years of profitable business. Create, you know, a great brand, get wellknown in the community, loads of customers. are a diverse customer base. Make sure that you're a product we like, because you know, Lord knows, I won't be advertising for like at an air what don't I like? Horses? If you own a horse, don't even think that I'll advertise for your horse. Don't set up an estate agent, as wouldn't even dream of outside bit. But once you've got the money and you want to help us out, you can then get advertise in segment with us and we'll charge tannel or something, trillow box. I'll trillo much, either either ten pounds or or a trillion, either of those two somewhere in between. But with that I will take away host ship. Someone's just started the timer. I'm just going to I'm stopping the timer momentarily now. Chaps, we are in a segment between segments still, just for this brief interlude. Can you both on the wall of the podcast recording studio see the clock? I'm just turning my chair very slowly so I can see the clock. I don't us. Yeah, HMM. I've set the clock for twelve o'clock midday, so we are right in the middle there. Yeah, and you'll see the addition I've made to the clock. It's a smaller clock just to the side of the clock that records discreet actions. Now, I've expressed before I am a fan of speed running. Specifically, I like watching grand theft auto five speed runs. I just think the optimization is brilliant and watching someone who's very good at what they do do it at such a high level for such a high, long amount of time. We are twenty episodes into this podcast now, chaps. We are experts at what we do, and so what I thought we should do it times in perfectly with what actually said about the show being too long. Is I actually think it's way no, actually thinks the show is way too short. I think it's way too long and I want to optimize it and I want us to cram a show into my fifteen minute long segments. So I'm starting the time and now I'm hello. I'm up to the third through se majority of talk show, where you find three fronts fight for their fifty minutes of fame. I'm your host, Alex Springthorne. I think you'll find I'm your host after hall. No, I think you find I'm the host Tom Hutchinson. Hey, and welcome everybody to another episode. It's the twenty episode of this this podcast. Thank you so so much for getting us to forty one. Anyway, let's fucking do it, Tom, if you got an anecdote? Yeah, I've got an anecdote. My Name. I just did stuff cool. Yeah, yeah, no, I need a we can't, can't cheap out on it. What your UNEC though? You got to tell us something. I've done something this week's you know. I'm looking on my God did really, what did you do this week? He did. He did a writ my dog did a really watery shit and I couldn't pick it up anyway. Too Cool, cool people. What do you do when you can't pick up a watery shit? You just take a hose back to where you were. You just apologize to the people that are in the vicinity. Anyway. Ashley, what is your what is your borne? What is your anecdote? Go, go good. This morning when I got out of bed, I fell down the stairs, but didn't scream because my wife was in bed. So what I then did is I did that grown up thing that you do where you don't say anything in pain, you just go that's probably sound at the same as your dark having a watery shit. It did. I found out when I recorded a quick advertisement Promo thing for the instagram to advertise the throe percent majority, and I played the podcast really loud in the in the micro. It was a good goof but that's the time that I realized that I'd wired up my sweet sub and speakers so they only work when the heatings aren't and it's been thirty degrees this week, so that's good. I'm a good electric should work. I'm the host, though, and my segment today is going to be about cars. How do we improve drivers on our roads? Tasers, okay, and yet limits and limits on people's ankles so they can't push the throttle down so far. Oh, you think people go too quickly. Yeah, I think people go too slowly. We should have limitters, that tases that go off when they're not going quick enough. And I think so. I think they should be a maximum and a minimum speed. Right, okay, minimum, seventy, maximum, unlimited. Oh, it's a school it's a school zone. Maximum, minimum fifty. Madam, do you have any idea why I've pulled you over today? Oh, yeah, I think I was doing sixty five. You know what the minimum is. Don't you to see...

...it? The sound of a Taser being charged up. I do think the roads are a bit shit as well. That won't help either. Road Markings are hot. Yeah, fixed, fix the potle fix the Poles as well. So I think I suggested I think I suggested this in an older so but given that with speed running in anything to just, you know, move up to my strongs o Tom Yes, new game, plus lie, just reuse, reuse jokes and just make car bumper, car have balloon on balloons on side of car. Yes, you know, I carn't crash Ashley's good cars. Yes, we've transitioned from wood onto rubber. I like how Tom Tom Talks in green text post form. When McDonald showed myself a good bullet points toime. Yet that's and with that, thank you so much for listening to my segment. Time for another Aban. What the frictionary? I okay, so the one we've got to day is Greek sex. Greek sex, what? What do we think Greek sex means? Greek sex is anal what? The Greeks famous for putting stuff at each other's but really, okay, if you I mean, I didn't think that that was that. Yeah, the philosophers. Yeah, wow, okay, I thought it would be something to do with yogurt. Other that, which one is more culturally offensive? There the idea that Queak, you know, for anal sex or yoga. Those are the two things that we know Greeks do. Disclaimer, the thirty poper majority is not an Anti Greek podcast and yogurt funk. You See, this is the thing. I know that. I know that Greek curries have a lot of goat in them, and I was wondering whether it was a horse having sex with the goat horse. It's for the goat, though. It's one of those exactly things. Wait, hang on, there's a good joke here. Is it the horse and Burg? Yeah, congratulations. Actually, fucking yet. You just leveled up to over level fifty, and fifty was the Max. Well, Oh my God, the time has just gone red, guys, we're behind our personal best. Tom What's the answer? Oh God, yeah, Greek sex is anal sex, the act of anal intercourse between a man and a woman. All right, yeah, so fucking old and actually you weird sex knowledgeman. Well done. It's me knowing which cultures like Anil job. Yes, I guess so, yeah, and as she's at you, he's me. Okay, but I don't have a second speed bumpy segment. So I'm going to talk to you all about sheep. What can we do to make sheep more exciting? Nothing, baby sheep of the spikes the cutest, most lovely things in the world. Theyre just gallop about, bounce, do stunts and then a delicious spice. They're very exciting and then they're very tasty. They are scrumped. You, guys, did did you hear what I said? What did you say times spikes and add spikes? Well, spiky sheep, I'm here for that. Oh, what? Just like Hair Gel? Oh, it's a sheepenmorph's clothing. He's dressed as a punk. No, no, no, like a add actual sort of like like hedgehogs. I thought you're going to just say add hedgehogs and I was like, I'm not sure, I think you're onto. Yeah, that's just putting creatures together. Yeah, so, like you can still leave the baby sheet being fluffy and cute and tasty, but add the spikes when they get older. So there's more of like, I don't know, sort of skill to like wrangling a sheep. Is they're not? Is Their scale involved now, because I'm pretty sure I could wrangle a sheet pretty fast if I was driving a car. Okay, cool, so wrangle it in seventy in thinking about sheeps I got onto farm yard animals, and from farm yard animals I got onto this story. So buckling this one's good fun. One Time Me and my dad went camping and I took my bicycle with me and I was cycling around the campsite and it backed onto like quite a white like a large field, like a farmer's field and there was a pad kind of in between the campsite and this field that was like concrete that the farmer used to store like hey and stuff like that. I was riding my bike and there was like a massive of pool of mud on this concrete bad and I rode through it and I turned my wheels to do steering and the bike went one way and I went the other and I fell off into this mud. Turns out the mud was a lot of Cowpoo that the farmer was story so you could manureus fields. And that's the story of the time. Dad have to hose me off. The farm was storing in case he got hungry. So Nex Day, you, you got liqueur Shit on you before, like years, year's decades, even before our before I got liquid shit in my house. Yeah, pretty much. Am I the only one that hasn't experienced liquid shit at the minute? Hey, you just not experienced liquid I think so. Yet I don't like that. That's ominous, the implication being that somewhere out there is a liquid shit waiting. Yeah, it's energy cannot be destroyed or created. As leave the liquor shit exists currently and it's on its way to you. It's headed your way and there's nothing you can do to avoid that liquid shit. It flows downhill towards you. Okay, so what if we genetically modify sheep to be born with like heee he's in there who right now? Only does that make the more exciting, that makes them fucking Rad. They wouldn't work road, though. They just be shuffling everywhere.

No, you'd breathe them bigger wheels if they were living on hills. Yeah, exactly, off road, off road he lei just have a load of sheep at the bottom of your hill. You've got, we got, we got off road sheep, we've got the sheep and we've got part sheep. Oh No, I've lost my sheep. It's all right there at the bottom of the valley. Yeah, exactly, fair enough. Always look downhill for sheep. Sorry, asked. That's, I think, the end of your Seg Yep time with you got another Roban? What the frictionary for us? Yeah, I can do one for you, the one that got you've got all. Sorry, you've got in Tru. Oh and this is welcome back to the segment. In between segment, during the segment. What the Frick shinery. Yeah, I'll doing that. Yeah, okay, whatever you want to fuck it. Yeah, okay. And the the one that I have is fucking popcorn FART, corner fart. What do we think that is? Popcorn far? Is it that weird fart that you do that feels like you've shot but you haven't. Okay, good, good guess, Alex, your guess. Well, that one is I don't I'm really I'm stuck on this one. Popcorn. Okay, is it lots of little farts? Oh, yeah, I bet it's that, because you in a car you get like a popcorn limiter, which is where you rabbit opening was bad and it just sounds all that bad, like popcorn fasting. That's a popcorn far. Okay, definitely. Yeah, I was thinking it's some kind of weird result of because it's urban dictionary, right. I thought it was the result of some weird, disgusting sex play involving popcorn where it enters said booty hole and then it don't say me. That's how the Greeks would popcorn. Okay, we like it. The philosopher's the philosopher's Fart a party. The philosopher's spot is Harry Popper. And the philosopher's farm. You couldn't do Harry Potter today, could you? Because it would just be like Harry Potter and the particularly difficult tax return carried it on into a dolt life. You meet, yeah, literally Harry Parry Potter, and there I don't like my job, but it's secure. Harry Potter, and taking the kids to school, Harry Potter. The notice of intended prosecution, Harry Potter, restraining or how sad for Harold? No, no, Harold's good. Okay, so the answer to popcorn fart the rapid firing of several small farts that, when done correctly, sound quite similar to a small mouse riding through the House on a motorcycle. Put, Putt, fucking immaculate. Now the well, I loved it. Okay, hit in the club. I'm VIP. I've got a fake mustache and also more fake learys. No, you can't heal. So I love that. Okay, do you know what? Well, of course what. Of course I can. We speed running. Yeah, you know what, Tom Hey, I fucked up. Of course you can, because this segments magnificent. Will never get that. Four seconds back, Alex, okay, sour and okay, cool so I woke up this morning. I woke up this morning I had a bonus, a pop up book forgain no and yes, Tommy original. And so, Alex, you think real ash now. I think that's a Tommy Ridge. I think that's fucking hundred percent real. Okay, so, as you're now on twelve, Alex, you are still sat on six. Alex, you were wrong, as she were correct. Bands a real one, never in question. By yg. It's called really be smoking and drinking. Welcome, Smiley, I had a bone. I'm just going to do the opposite of what I think. I'm gonna do the opposite of what I think next time. Okay, next one. And I met a girl. She asked me my name. I told her what it was. It was Tom let me know what happened. We know that. We know it was you. I told him my name. It was Tom don't give us one more line. I think we can answer this. I think that one's real, which means I'm going to say it's a Tommy Ridge. I think it's fake. You were both. You were both wrong, for fuck. That one's real. It's real. Way, yeah, it's it's by razor light. It's called somewhere else. Well, that's why I didn't know. It raised like a shit, but they sung the thing. Okay, the next one and they done it. Hey, hey, Tom. Can't dispute that they done it, can you? They done. They actually said the words. Say, did they a dead danglidy done it. Ms Was the ones what done it. And now it's been done and it was then what did it? Absolutely so anyway, the next one. It's like I live in a toilet, the way that I be shit in. Oh, that's not real because that's not good, but I think it's real. I am also going to say it's real. I think that one's real,...

Thomas. Well, well done, boys, you've both got points. That one's by Gucci Maine, freakiest in the world. Put It on my it's like live in a tent. Well done, congratulations. I can I ask you if you know the answer to WHO said that? They get more asked than a toilet. Suit, conversation and Hennessy or ask that a toilet. See now, I don't know it. No, I'm going to check now I got to Google it. Speed running ash know the RNG. Oh, it's by EMINEM and Nate Dat dog. Yes, more ass than a toilet seat. Next one is but why can't we all pe next to each other? Why? Your rhinals got rules? That's a Tommy special because you've been talking to me about this offset now for weeks, about me. You and Alexis in Frinty, Alex. he won't leave it alone. He keeps saying they're going to have to piss on each other. That's why we are the three yearinals taking out and replace with one big your iinal Tommy special. I think it's real. Okay, Alex, well done. You've got a point. It was a Tommy special. Yeah, that's my first one in like twenty of these things. Wo Who. Okay, next one. I just slap the fuck out of my cousin and took his toaster strudel and punched my little brother in the jaw and took his rum and noodle. That one's real, I think. I think that's fake. I think Tommy punched a man in the jaw over some noodles and strudles. A lex, you got that correct. You're now on nine. You didn't get it correct. You're on thirteen. Excellent work. Well, that, Ladies and gentlemen, has been a podcast. Thank you so much for listening. We speed run to the whole thing. Congratulations, that I've done, said dadly did it. We reached infinite fame, we done the thing, done a podcast, and now we're here. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. By, yeah, by, I've got I'm Tom. Thank you. By cool. That was a good segment. Anyway, that's just been a podcast. I thought that was the real exit. I was hung up, you know. Breathe now, God, I genuinely I'm sweating. Yeah, me too, glad it's not just horrific lily. It's good to know. It's good to know, though, that we can actually just hop on and just fifteen minutes just smash out an entire podcast. It's good to know. Yeah, if, if we're ever short on time, yeah, exactly, if it reaches Chooesday at like seven o'clock and we go, I'll our nuts. We haven't done a podcast. We could do it in fifteen minutes and then just slow it down, ha ha ha, ha ha ha. I just play it back and reduce. So this is the thirty three percent majority, and we each get thirty three percent of the podcast. So if we're splitting thirty three percent of the podcast by three. So dividing thirty three percent by three, that means that when we release these short episodes, we've got to call it the eleven percent majority. Perfect. What I think I should have done in my segment, in my segment was speed run the podcast to get brilliant, smash it. Go ahead, the four and a half percent majority be right. Well, yes, what's eleven? A by three? How do I count eleven divided by three? Three Point Five, three point six, three point six six, sixty, sixty six seven. I got it right. Three point six six. Welcome to three three point six percent majority. Yeah, we love it. Welcome. Yeah, this has been a podcast and then also, surprisingly, another podcast within the podcast, which was cool podcast Russian nest and dot rest nesting goals. What I do just want to say to close, guys, and if you listen to us on spotify, please follow us. If you listen to us on Apple PODCASTS, please leave us a review, even if it's just the stars. But if you did want to write some words, we'd appreciate it. And if you listen to us in real life, please feel free to follow me to a second location where I can eat your flesh. All that. Yeah, I suppose I was so close to being sincere, wasn't it? So, I know we always, we always, you know, we always t are along that line really, really well. So, yeah, it's unsurprising that it happened. But then, yeah, and also, if you could please share this with a friend, share this with a colleague. Play it out loud at work if you wanted to. That would be interesting. Maybe play it during your disciplinary meeting. Yes, yes, if you work at a supermarket, just play over the Tannoy. Be Best. Yes, wonderful. Well, congratulations on the PODCAST, guys. We've done it, we done did it. I have been your host, Alex Springthorpe. No, I have been your host man shaped like blade of grass, Tom Hutchinson, I've been your host man shaped like slightly bigger blade of grass, Ashley whol stop somes like didn't even fuck around. Thank you, guys, so much for listening. We will...

...see you all next week. Bye. Bye. Yeah, I don't know if it's super played out. That's it might be. I tried it last I tried it last week. I asked you want to give this one of Bash? You try it. Sure. Give me fifteen second silence. Yeah, what now? Right, now yeah, what's okay? By No. I prefer it when Tom does it.

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