The 33% Majority
The 33% Majority

Episode 28 · 6 months ago

Ep. 28 - Variable Vocations, Villains and Viral Trends

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

It's here. A little late, sure, but still here nonetheles. 'It' being episode 28 of The 33% Majority, if you weren't sure.

In this week’s episode, your 3 podmen will each spend their 15 minutes of fame discussing lucrative side-hustles (spoiler alert, none of them will make you money), the greatest villains that the silver screen has to offer, and how to manufacture a viral trend, respectively.

Also, we're on our knees here, kissing your feet and begging for your support. If you like this dumb podcast, please do all the things to help that pesky algorithm see us. You could share this episode with a friend, family member, colleague, or even a pet (so long as they have access to a streaming platform). Otherwise, just subscribe, maybe leave a review too? We love you. Thank you.

... unlimited refills, but you do have to pay for each one. A Hi and welcome to another episode of the thirty two percent majority, a podcast where you'll find three friends fighting for their fifteen minutes of fame. I'm your host, unemployed man, Ashley Hall. No, I'm your host Kebab and so then for a chicken takeaway. On it. I sprink thought. No, actually, I'm your host Tom I hope the tables all right for you. Can I get you some water or refreshments to begin with, or just just water for now, please? Oh, that's the that's the best waitress I've ever employed. That's the studio audience. She's having a bit of a laugh there at my joke. It's sorry, sorry about that. Did I actually just hear a laugh track as well? Are you unemployed? I did my last day at my old job today and some and on the eleventh, so that's in a couple of days from now I'll be doing I'll be doing my new job and I'm very excited a little bit nervous because you know, I've been working with robots and now I'll be working with people and you can't just work us. Yeah, you can't just swish him off when they're misbehaving. That's a crime conducting ones and Zeros either. Yeah, they they really see things in black and white. You can communicate two people with Wander Zeros, though, provided you want to let them know about a nothing of something or a single of something. It's so many sugars, isn't it? It's what? One or zero, just or, in my case, you go. Was the similarities there? One, HMM, one, but yeah, yeah, why, you dumb, very excited. So how is how's your guys weeks been? What have we been up to? Alex, you're a Yoursell on holiday on you. I'm holiday and I'm vacationing still currently, right now, traveling the world. Jet Se made it to the east coast of England that I'm sure I'll get to the rest of it soon. That's at least five miles, isn't it? Like you making good ground, I think. I think it's about seventy miles from my front door, seventy nine, I think it was. So, you know, glow, I could bicycle to you in like in two days. Maybe I will. Maybe I just visit you prepare yourself. You can just drive, dude, Ashley, Buddy, just drive, but I have a bicycle and powerful leg muscles. No, just make an engine do it for you insteads much, much, much easier than doing it yourself. I'm going to get a team of sled dogs. That is that too far? I feel like. No, no, I'll loan you joey and Kylo if you want. Let me just ask him quick that's a start. Joey, do you want to do you want to go and pull Ashley all the way to the seaside? Yeah, he's up for it. That's up guy. I thought he was going to I was waiting for him to speak. I'm never convinced with Joey that you understands the question. Hey, if joe it's all right. Have a laid down. What is this podcast? Now we're podcasting. How do I normally go about to have a speech, to to sort of anecdotes? Wasn't it time a talk, time with tree friends, and it goes I'm on, I'm on the Holly Bobs. I'm doing it right now. I'm kicking back and I'm relaxing and my anecdote, I've not thought about it up until the start of this sentence, but it is that I bought a knife then. Oh, I saw this actually, yeah, describe the knife nice like bread bottle of HMM. I bought a Swiss army knife for fifteen pounds. I'm very happy with it and I've been spending my evenings whittling away. It's just for a peaceful, very relaxing it's been a good holiday. I've liked it. It's another victory royal. Yeah, for night, be bad to get down, get down just such as here. Yeah, I got a victory royal before we started recording. That's my anecdote. How could anything stand up to the might of that victory? Had A couple of Chug jugs, Tommy. Yeah, just off the top of the top of your head, how many? How many jugs were chucked for? I think I lost sort some of my some of my armors. So what? You got a chug those jugs, haven't...

...you? HMM, absolutely. Yeah, that's a lesson for life. Did some sniping, did some running some people over. was really good and I killed the last person. So I'm just the best right, it's so good. That's you were the certainly the best of a about a hundred people, I would say hmm, but actually, now that I think like it, group of saying it, you were the best one. Yeah, you're the one person thinking about it and saying it. allowed. I'm a twenty three year old man that place fortnight still, so that's really cool, I guess right. So moving on. Hey, when we get number one, victory, real but in a minor key. Yeah, depressive, bad version. Yeah, he's gonna have sad yea fortnight about to see. That's good. Happened to you? Apart from collecting jobstickers allowance, I wrote an article for Local magazine and I sent it to the editor today. Are Pretty excited about that. That's a local magazine goes to a few thousand people, called the nugget. Yee. Then she was a name for a magazine. Yeah, came through the door and it's like, Oh, it's the nugget. I was like, somebody's put a nugget through my door and then I phrased immediately. What did them get into? What was the article for? So it was for the latest and greatest of thirty three percent to news, where we're going to be doing the thirty two percent sincerity. So we're going to have a nice chatter with the public, just strangers, anonymous people, about life. Going to have them on, they're going to talk to me about whatever they want for an hour or so and then I'm going to kick them out and never talk to them again. It's going to be wonderful, cool facts. Well, and any listeners of the show that have joined from the nugget hello, welcome, hello, nugget readers. Tommy, I'll be over in a moment to take your drink's orders. Yeah, can I get you any APP sizes? Offer you some grapes and a cheat, some cheese, some coffee. Just to let you guys know, if you get a fizzy drink, it's unlimited refills, but you do have to pay for each one. Unlimited, not free. Refill many, just no. Sorry, corporate. Have Been Very, very specific about my wording. It is definitely unlimited refills. You can have as many as you want. They are not free. It's an all you can eat for fair a, provided that the provided you bring your wallet and Your Friend Got Bonuses to pay. Unfortunately, we are all out of so the friend chicken and come up. So yes, that Alex hate them all. Alex Loves Fried Chicken and a KEBAB. Come on holiday. I'm on holiday. I can do what one Canada seven days. I'm fancy eating. I've been doing fancy and eating red meats. That's all I've done for a week. It's been I forgotten what vegetables look like. Alex, on a scale of one to swamp, how is the in between area of your rast cheeks currently so all right, I do just I am washing store Tom it's not that. Alex goes on holiday and that's it. The He is not allowed to get wet the entire time. Yeah, it's not allowed. We call it a we call it a dryboy holiday. I have a dry holiday. I'll so you're not drinking? Yeah, no, I'm just not going to wash everybody's everything to download festival. HMM. Oh, what did we say about doing segments? Was it me? It was you? Yeah, I think he's here. Yeah, well then, well then, here we go. So of's been on my holiday. And whenever you go on holiday, you always need lots of lots of money to spend on on candies and various sweet treats, especially at the seaside. You need you to be able to go for rides on the roller coasters and enjoyed slot machines. So you know knees exactly. You need wealth a play. Did you ride a pony? Well, that's the thing to blooming. Couldn't go on. I jangled the old the old coin burs, and the jungles I heard back just were not sufficient, okay, for a ride on the ponies. HMM, and they laughed at me and I didn't like it. The ponies to it. Yeah, well, I'm as surprised as you are. Repulsive behavior, judging someone for not having their wealth to do something, you fucking Shit ponies. HMM. But this time next year I'm going to come back and I'm Alex, it's going to be like that seed if pretty on. Will you interrupt my intro to my segment? Now? I'm just going to say with regard, with with regards to the Ponies, I just wanted to say, fuck the naysayers. That wasn't so good. I'd still be crossed up some. That was worth it and I'm so it's okay. So I don't worry. As you were, I'm gonna wine to take back slightly.

This time next year I'm coming back and I'M gonna show those ponies that I'm not man to be meddled with, because I'm going to be coming, they say, with sack of what? It's sack upon sack of Golden Coin. Cool, because I want a side hustle. Okay, not, not any of the boot normal side hustles. What Fun side Hustles Hu bad. You could be bad news delivery guy. I saw that greased America and I think you'd be really fucking good at that. So what you do is you put that lad that. How bad does the news have to be? Well, that's the thing. Is like you can charge based on how bad the news is, like Oh, you've got chlamidia. That's like a tenant. MMM, where is if? It's like, I can do that one. I've no, no issues with STD form. Yeah, so you can just tell people things. So I call you and I'm like, Hey, I just killed my neighbor's cat. Can you please deliver the news? I'll give you fifty quid. You get next to you like, Hey, my name is alexcited to have a bad news yeah, and you carry that here. Is a one of them, and tear these, boy, yeah, is one of them. See, when I say it, it's a brasive you'd be really good at it. Yeah, I wouldn't be good at any of the like after care, though. I deliver the bad news and that's it. I'm on my unit UNICYCLE and I'm out of there. Yeah, you have to pay extra to have you stay in like comfort. People. MMM, that's not fuck around there. It's only heating and hot water. It doesn't matter that it's been disconnected there anyway. Fine, working for gas companies. Now you're gonna need a pretty fast motor cycle to do a full day's work. Mate. Okay, I've got a little one then. Okay, okay, do you do you have? You have a like a washing machine at home. HMM, okay, brilliant. And so hear me out. When I watched TV series about like criminals, they talk about laundering money a lot. And so you've got washing machine. Okay, okay. We've got offer a service to clean people's bills. We've got polymer money, though not all of it. You could just wash coins. It take you a while. Somebody watching your money, washing gout bowl full of yeah PPS. So, yeah, you've got serial quid bit of fairy liquid. Other brands are available. Just clear majority of me. We're not on the BBC. Other networks for watching media are available. Look, I'm just covering my an absolute full. In five years time, when this show has been picked up by the BBC radio for and they're playing the old reruns, I'm gonna look rightful where Anna, they're gonna bleep you out there. You're not going to get to get seen on BBC four. If we make it onto the BBC, I really hope that they keep this segment in right now where I say the words fuck, can bitch, BBC. Yeah, you can say that on the BBC after nine MMM, can you? I've ever heard something like it sound a bit like this, though, and it was just six beaps really quickly. That's all I did. That's that's what I think I was waiting for. Like the the news around theme music. You're really weird sometimes when we reference the edits that you're going to make. Sometimes like we talk about them afterwards, but then other times we talked about like we can hear them, like we're in the future and we've listened to the edit you make, and I just thought super better. I bet it's really uncomfortable to listen to. Yeah, it's worse when you say there's an edit and then there isn't. Right, yeah, I made. I made a quack noise happened during Ashley when, as she was speaking, just then a quick noise happened, like what did you think of that? It was weird fucking odds. Really, it's weird. Somebody calls big things are getting matter. Sorry as quacker bug. Yeah, Hunk, I met my own quacks. I ruled my own destiny. Alex, okay, very matter of you. You can't make me sound like a duck. You can't do it. All right, right, right, do you think I could get paid money for hiding in someone's car and operating all the dials for them, like a Serie next of them? I thought you were going to say a totally different one, but carry on. Hey, Alex, gonna put the Radio One, playing serious businessman. Yeah, Hey, Alex, can you put the thirty three percent sorty on? Be You ready to go for for me please? Thank you. Yeah, and it comes. Of course I can. Hey, awlexy,...

...when's the artis? I'm to begin with it and to begin with it's too quiet. So they say, Hey, I extment through percent majority on be radio four for the please. Thank you and let's say. Yeah, of course I've turned it up too far so that they've got to ask me again to set it back now, because I get charged per by charge, sorry, per interaction with me. MMM, I like, Hey, that's clever. Never like car scam that I do. Yeah, that really hey. Set My destination to here, and then you set it to somewhere else, and then they have to ask again, like, I, where am I, and then I set it to to here, his house. Yeah, and you've ended up it to here. Port two, hear, is not ready for dinny. Yes, to hear. I've got your friends. I put your friends over again, not that we're not supposed to be hit's all tomorrow night. Want me to set your home, no problem it. Let me program that in to make you see. I. I I thought, Alex, that you were going to say that you would like hire yourself out to be a professional hide and seeker, specifically the hider. People could pay lads of people. People could pay you for the pleasure of trying to find you in their house. Yeah, you know, please don't do a box on the like to set the dogs out into a fields the checks after a fas. Just get some. Well, the white men in tweed forest as I scamper. You have to dress as the Fox, okay, you just I can just imagine dress. Actually, I wouldn't have to, but I would want to, Alex, I can just imagine you running around on all falls, though she's like scampering, just got the tail. The ear is looking real cute. Can we please do shot? Stay out. I do. That's the really that's the really bad part is I would want to do it and they want to do it with you. Alex. you'd be such a fun person to chase through the woods. I'd love to gamble through the woods with you. Oh, would you? Would you be hunter or hunting? I would be hunter. If it was you running, I'd be the man on horseback. The people aren't armed, are they? Or I will? I don't know if they are, but I'm going to say yeah, maybe we might. Taking what sport? It's no, it's a light but light bruising sport. Alex, don't panic. We could advertise, we could get more people involved. I could have like two people underneath me that are also foxes, and then they if they employed two people behind like underneath them. We all stand to get richer and the way we entice people in it. There's enough money to last you a lifetime. Isn't that because you're going to be murdered with a shotgun in the woods as you try to scamper off the sneaking? Okay, well, any amount of money is money for our lifetime. If they're going to die that afternoon, isn't it exactly my point, Ashley, some are we going to get on horseback and Hunt Alex Down? Yes or no? Wait me, yeah, obviously I need you with me. Me and you in Red Coats, Alex naked but for a foxtown and is. I was thinking that I could be I could be the Fox's ball sack boxes. Do have notoriously Tom shaped testicles? Yes, so I could just be clung to Alex's last one. That you did say. So I could be the foxes ball sack, so I can hang on underneath you and then you can such what you'd said. Yeah, you can scamp around with me hugging you from the underside as you crawl around on all fours. You'd be pregnant six times a week. Though. Tell oh no, so many beautiful fairy cubs and never ending supply. That, yeah, I tell you. What that is a really important part of any business is establishing a firm, solid and reliable supply check. Yeah, so many first time listeners. If you'd like some really mutated Fox Alex Cub hybrids, you can get us on twitter for those. Make a perfect start up pet for your child. HMM. Now, Alex, can that's a bad one, that we said. Can the the participate, the hunters? Can they pay extra to do anything to you when they catch you? I'm gonna need just a small specific from you please, Thomas. You know like had me a fruit pastor as a treat for a job well done. But yeah, of course you can do that. If it's something more the farious than that's on us. I'd like an example. I didn't actually mean anything the fairies, to be fair, but it's called that. That's where your mind goes. But I was thinking, like you know those horrible like big game hunters that go to...

Africa that are really nasty people, as as they seem to have like that dentist what done a lion? Exactly, weird, because heat, because it also dentists think they're doctors and doctors have to swear that oath to not hurt life. So that one's cool anyway. No, I was thinking, like, could somebody pay to take a picture with your naked body after they've caught you? Oh, anybody could do that, Fox or not's got price. Okay, Col you're telling me, Tom that I couldn't offer you, like if I had the cash in my hand and I placed it into your hand and said you can keep this cash if I can just take a picture with your naked body, and it was tenzero pounds that. You say no, you could offer me six pound fifty and change, and I'd be like, you could rather like a bean can of coppers at me. Yeah, let's get fucking naked. Actually, you could just thinking it right now. kind of bait beans. You could give me a kind of bait beans and I do it perfect. Yeah, that's as long as you post on my return train ticket, I'll be there problem. They don't buy me a single because that kind of beans is not going to ask me for a train ticket. No, I'm straight on it, as see as I've got that kind of beans, you know. Hmm, do you think I could earn money by being someone's like personal shopper, but instead of doing it at a high end fashion retailer. It is just Morrison's. Well, they do that already, don't they's? You can have uber eats. Do that? Not sponsored know that yet? That's so brief. That's a that's a person goes and does a shop for you. I'm saying I walk around with Dear Dree. I say, dear drink, no, you want this reduced salt gravy Granur. So you're saying that little ticker of yours, dear Drenk, and I just see saying shopping advisor. A shopping advisor then, yeah, what you're saying is a care right, that's already a job, allex, that exists. A shopping probation officer, a Free Lance. Sorry, I'm a freelance career. That's dangerous. That is that's sure, you can be a freelance care Alex, but I'm sure that's allowed. Why? Vulnerable people don't need and none of it like just on agency, just turning up. Oh Hi, I'm m I'm your guy. That's my name's Alex, and I'm here to tell you that boat mints is a good substitution for beef mints. Let's go have a Ballinas, come along now. Yeah, it's good offer can shoot more advice. So we're gonna have Turkey mints this week because it's good for your ticker. This less fat, you know, Gee, a little ticker. Would you fuck? Would you soap crazy, you go, you're feeling good at yeah, the end. And then at the end I give him a fiber and I can post. They as I have bested them in the game of supermarket shop best of the mortal Kombat, as did supile. Damn it, can get that out of the con Su pile out. This is. This is my shopping assistant, sup pile. This is my good friend Cyril Bart this is. This is my friend bread, bread section. There wasn't. Hey, guys, can I just introduce you to my my best friend, unexpected item in the bagging area. I. Yes, I like the TESCO boys says that you like a receipt. It's so sexy. Guys. Can you hear that? I can hear that, guys. In the background, that's that's me flicking through the be urban dictionary. I was close. The Dusty Forbidden Toms. Exactly. The dark, the dark hold. Should we go and do one? Let's allow us now to do it. Let one away. We go and we've made it to everyone's favorite segment between segments. Burn. What the friction? Larry, join in with that one time. What do you think? That anything? Or is that, I know, weird, weird vibe, weird, and I'll just pest down on the street lamp. I can't believe that. Yeah, how about Alex, can come? Can I just borrow in the meeting room quickly? Yeah,...

...and God, Oh my God, I'm being sorry. Yeah, two seconds as that's just right. Let's after as my cables wrap around. You're the Luggy, you church, you my likes. Lift Up. Can Let go? I'm sorry, I like Alex. can you write, Alex, we are record a pocast I. can you hurry? You came in right. Yeah, I'm with you and I totally I totally get what you're going for. They're trying something news, and nothing wrong with that, and I don't want it to seem like I'm like having a go that you are anything, because I totally understand when we've got to try new things. It's comedy podcast. It's all all live. Yeah, but don't ever fucking do that again, Tom Whoa, I didn't try to any toes. I was I was trying to like go for like a collaborative. Are You allays listening? Read My fucking lips. Never fucking do that again. Oh okay, let's take it back. Okay, cool, no, I'm fine. I'm far more morals. You look like hey fever again. But it's allergies. It's allergy. Did you walk into it? A law as? It's blood allergies. Out My eyes. It's fine, okay, it's allergic to axes. And the yeah thing is Alex has a condition where, if he isn't called nate, it's gonna get in this woods running about it for by falls. He does, he does get allergic to that and then bleed from cuts on his face. HMM, all of that, all of that's right, and then all of that says is also also true. It's correct. Wells factual. Well, welcome big phone car to I got something my fucking eye. Welcome to the cars, and welcome everybody to your favorite segment between segments. But what the Frank Shennery and the Burne hold back from doing that one again. I don't know why. I was just I was fucking about. So that I have I haven't got any allergies. So yeah, I'm fucking glad neither of you did it. Shall we have the urban dictionary entry for this week? But he's Yes, God Sake, Thomas, the entry is Fatkins. So that's FAP Kis. Don't like that. I mean, I've got I've got a one. Might actually think that it is okay, go on, take it away, Oh snapkin. What you do? It just to yeah, not like a like sexy nap kid. It's a sexy nap kid, that guy. It's not sexy nap kids. Jeff, see a Napkin and just think I'm going to fucking come on that. No, you know, you've just got like a Jiz that you've got to it's I mean it's got to go somewhere. It's gotta go somewhere. We can all agree. We can all agree that just got to go somewhere. That one's a science benny button, straight up chest, all over your own face. Just run. It's good for your skin anyway, onto your own Adams Apple. It's not. No, it's nothing to do with just the guy said anything about just because I don't like this one. Do it. Damasting is how much into your ankles. Don't allow for that into your armpit and then make the farty noise that you can make with your armpit. Will come out like a wet one, but then you're going to have come all over the bed. Yeah, arms, the pillows, the ceiling. You'RE gonna have you're gonna have tears. You're going to have to have six consecutive masturbates to try each and every one of these. Please give us feedback and let us know how they go. Feel free to pause the show. Don't worry, we'll wait. We'll wait for you. Actually, no, don't even bother pauseet it. We will give you a thirty minute break right now. Wow, wow, what good whang. Oh Yeah, push that come out. That's where it's spits. Hey, you get that come out ere, you buddy. Don't be stingy. Hey, get it out right now, young man. blust those nuts, bust beat that meat, squeeze them, slam the Ham shut your not to the door. Do It makes it. Makes it come out quick. Punch, punch, punch them, kick them, kick yourself now.

I think it's the Napkin for jeers. Is what I think. The past. Okay, I do. I got a bit lost in the lost in the sauce. They're so should we just find out? No, no, get lost in that. I want that. I got lost in the Mayo. Yeah, okay, so fat Kins. That the Napkins you get with a bag of fast food. It's wasteful to throw the excess Napkins away, so their best put to use by catching, oh, underwear, your get. No, I hate before this recording I thought, not great that there was me thinking that what that was trying to say was fast food Napkin, fat kin. Yeah, I thought there was actually two twists. Yeah, it's really good and they they have a what's it called? An example of how to use it in a sentence, if you want that desperately. Okay, I got some Taco Bell last night and they gave me like ten Napkins. I only used one, so I thought, Hey, I can use these other nine to clean up my jeers. The fatkins proved useful as I had run out of call. What do you know, hey using hey, smart idea. I can use these two wipe up my siny. Going to masturbate later, and these will come in handy for removing the SPOTTOM. This whole bars been really hard. Don't say they hate, just been true. Oh, hard. Yeah, I've re said it afterwards. It's got your fully tall, fully yeah, something. Okay, cool. Well, Ashley, want to host now? My I'd like to. Yeah, I was. I'd like to rip away the band aid of non host ship and replace it with the freshly healed wound of host ship, with Meut for book. Cool, they really blessed relief of medical aid. Podcast wise, I read never wear by Neil Gaiman like five years ago, Ash and I like the villains at yes, Tom could you every fucking time? Yes, Chow, could chow. Where was I lost in the sauce? I just got cat Choud. Had the door kicked in on my podcast experience. Yeah, I read never wear, the book by Neil Gaiman, where like five years ago. It's really fucking good, really good, and it was only good because the villains in it like Vandermart and Croup, a man and a short man, one who is very ver the boase and one who is not very over bose. But it's massive and terrifying and eats rats and stuff, and I love them because they were like sinister and cool and Suave and I always liked villains more than heroes. What about favorite villains and what makes a good villain? Aren't you so edgy? Fell villains. I associated like the villains. Yes, Tarma, very edgy. Yeah, Rick, I can't help it. I'm wearing sunglasses, a long leather coat, fingerless gloves. I'm in the Matrix. HMM. So, Ash when you watched that film about the boy in the Stripe Pajamas, did you you like the villain in that one, because liking the villain in a book is essentially Nazism. Now the villains are more relatable, they're imperfect. Superman is not relatable in every like superman comic. He was not the coolest thing in the comic because he was too good. Villains man. I begged it. I begged to differ on that one. But fair play. This is your segment, Ashley, cool, yeah, no, I super. Yeah. I think a lot of people would look at the excellent man and so that what wow, what a good thing it'd be to be that excellent man, whereas I think if you look at a man what's done a lot of murders. I don't aspire to do lots of me when I think about but surely, like you can see how villains are cool. Like I'm not I'm not chatting shit when I say that villains have a large fan bases. Like surely you can relate to that for the sake of a podcast conversation. I'M gonna be honest with you. I would rut. I would rather be a bullet multi billionaire who dresses like a bat than a sociopathic clown. If Jo could not joking, non specific. I'm asking what villains you like. Ash, I'm drying, honestly, shot down a bit. I'm Yanking Your Dick. I'm here to play. I'll play in the space with you. Very hard to have conversational flow, though, with that. What right? It's a bit jilting when you're in...

...the flow of things. Yes, and comedy. No, for real. I do really like the second idea, and I was just being a cock. I've lost our our was no, you you like. You like villains, and I would say my favorite villain is scarf from the Lion King. I think he's real cool. See it classic. He's charismatic. The people like him. He's got a good soul. He's also, and I mean interesting face. I mean this in a cool way. He's a bit gay as well. I super campy. Yeah, okay, he's got a flair for the dramatic. Yeah, I just really like that. A lot of heroes don't have the flair for the dramatic. So I've been fairly quiet throughout this conversation. I do apologize for that because, as we all know, I don't do a lot of movies, I don't do a lot of pop culture, I don't know many villains and I was thinking about it more and more and more and more and more. Slight, the McQueen, the bad guy. Yes, yeah, that's why we like him so much. He did destroy a town, because all the way to radius springs and just, yeah, freaks the front all the way fuck's the entire road up like a real asshole. WHAT THE VILLAINS ARE THERE? Educate me on some on some villains. You like? Harry Potter? Voldemort? I don't like voldemort. He's overs a frightening and he does wizard crimes, you know, but he has motivations as a character and he tries to hurt my good friend Harry Potter like that. That's horrible. Yeah, if Harry wasn't such a sensitive bitch. Listen, Harry Potter can get bitch slapped by voldemort. Just saying. I do like it in I do like it in the Harry Potter's where at the last one, where Harry's like all right, then Tom it just says it by his actual real yeah, she's out of it, just like doesn't he say something to the effective, like because he's a gang finish this way? We started it Tom Together and then they have a bro Hug and fall off a building. Come along now, Tomas, let's go for a fly. We could come now, Thomas, it's time. So you know Thomas, the Tan Ken Engin and the Magic Railroad. Oh yeah, with the fucking diesel town. Yes, diesel turn a good visual turns the bad guys. He's got a Pinchy, pinchy noggin. Oh what does he do? Nothing, worse. What is she's the thing that he says, Alex, when he's when he's got pinchy out, he talks to it. I'm gonna Pinch you, whoam a little picture. I'm back here when I'm gonna Pinch Hey, Thomas, you bitch tank engine, get pinched, is his famous line. That's a catch phrase. Yes, says, look, he says, let's start this. How this is so excited Tom and then the jump off a building together, go on a fly, we can finch. That's exactly how it ends. Spoilers for those Thomas the tank engine fans that haven't seen this years release. And then Mr Conductor does a murder with a gun. No, No, Alec Ball, you know, they call him the FACON. What they call in the fact controller. That's a neat. Stab you to death like another different he's a villain. Yeah, he's in Thomas the tank engine. There many the fact control. Yeah, yeah, Mom was about Alec and they all just yeah, it's not how he is in it. Didn't do it. It's not his fault. He will talk about that afterwards, because I've got some points, and ash UN funny points in the marvel movies. WHO's your favorite bad guy? Ultron, really really I love him. He's Aminess, his sinister, he's a little bit Sassy, his motivations are like unusual, you know, a little bit less fucking boring. I think is everyly interesting character and it's he's flawed, which makes him relatable. Okay, I think the cool one for you. I think Loki is like cooler. Yeah, Loki's pretty galax you know that one. He's pretty gangster. I'm really, I really am thinking over here about villains. Alex there, professor, The lady, Professor, and Harry Potter. That's an our soul. She wears pink. What's her name? Professor, Umbridge, the right. Yeah, she's a village this because I don't like her, though she's with she's not meant to, but she's so well written that you just hate her. Okay, is that what the thing is? Is Theo's yeah, right, good, good villains, villains you can be frightened of. Okay, like, yeah, there was a makes sense, a villain that is well written and well created. Yeah, she's a good one. Then she's big MC savage. All that. That isn't Duto five.

Can't you decide whether or not your friends of villains and if you're going to murder them? Oh, yeah, it does do that. HMM. Yeah, and like you're our own a little moral compass dictates how you punish them for it, and you're like, Oh, maybe they're maybe they're not that bad, even though they did murdering. Michael is the worst one, though, in GTO five. Right, yeah, it's just an't it? Right, as is stick pussy coward. Yeah, drivers are travelers. They own the moral compass that I run. He doesn't know. He knows. He's a cad. He strives for Cock. Would striving for cockhod my search for foreskin? Get it, striving for cony. That's story of my fucking life. Really. Yeah, we out here. Oh, Oh, Oh, deep, pick me, pick me. I understood the segment. Oh, Alex, go to it, buddy. Hey, Ashley, ass me. I figured out what these segments all about. Gadad, there are things that are made way. You are supposed to love the villain, good villains, including, but not limited to to limits. It to Remix Walter, Heisenberg, White, yeah, okay, yeah, Dexter, stab them up. Morgan, now he's a good guy. Yes, he's not, though we know he's a don't go. He's killed old, horrible murders, but you love him. He only does murders to the bad guys. But Bod but bad light doesn't me just this. Don't mean to alarm you. Yeah, one is a crime there, MMM, legally. And he does fuck his sister, which is yeah, he doesn't. Usen't at one point. Actually, yeah, that's that's me. itly frown upon. Yeah, in America. Hmm, it's nice to know that we prefer murder to incest, though. Yeah, I think I'm totally on board. This podcast is not an anti incest murder podcast. No, no way. Yeah, it took me what ten minutes to figure out what the segment's all about. But, like Walter, why he's he's a councilman who decides to do money, and we're like are we could understand the polight there. But then he murders eighteen people. Yeah, he cooks drugs that ruined people, people's lives. Yeah, yes, horrible to his little wife. HMM, if you, if you actually rewatch breaking bad, a kind of a past the back skylar's perspective, that poor bloody woman. Genuinely, it's weird that when you first watch breaking bad, skylar is the most annoying character on the program yeah, it's not in the wrong ever, not at all, not not in not even the onest bit. What a poor lady. I feel bad for what a very wealthy poor lady. But the character, the character of what all right is, where is Ritchen there there is written so well or made so well and played so well that like it's like a study on corruption, you know, like Oh, you could start off with really good intentions, but then they get worse and worse and worse. Ultimate power corrupts ultimates. That's a great saying. It's super crul saying. Cool study. It's there if you stare into the void, the void stairs bag. You know when people like I'm going to join the police force and make the police better, and it's like, do you think you, as an individual are going to change the corrupted system before the corrupted system changes you individual? Yeah, agreed. It's that Neatscher and thinking to makes good villains. You can kind of get behind him like Oh, yeah, I get that, that makes sense. Like scar, he's like his name is literally scar, but before that he had an African name that I think translated into the word garbage, which I think you can do. That's right, I'm not joking. I'm going to fact check that. He's a he's a garbage light, and so we went and got a tattoo on his face of a scar so that he could seem more imposing. I also have a Trush Kitt and name is Hank and she loves to Rumma's around in the bins. That one's not untrue. She actually does love to yeah, she loves to get those bins. You've you've seen the lion king, right Alex, yes, when I was very small. You know the rough idea though, right hamlet, but anything in that you see is for you and that is all I know. Yeah, and there some songs. That's the one. HMM. Well, at the end, Simberg goes back to the pride lands to fight scar, to take his place on the throne as King of the jungle, I guess. But the thing that really confuses me is like the fight that they have is supposed to be like really impactful and, like you know, there's like this big, bombastic music that makes you really want to care. But then if you consider that scar is an old, frail lion who hasn't been very well because there's a can plague names dying in the pridelands, and Simba is just some stoner who's been living off of bugs for about ten years, so it's really shouldn't be that good...

...of a fight. It would be akin to you and me having like a slap fight. He be like that made me the burning situation. I get to be there. Yours, as Ad Zazi, yeah, that's me. I just advising in the background. I love that. For me, God isn't got? Isn't it so bad? I literally know, like the script of the Lion King, like off by heart. Do it now, than coward. But you won't. What's the first lie life? It's not fair, is it? You See, I will. I will never be king and you'll never see the light of another day. Had you use Azu flies in? And didn't you mother ever tell you not to play with your food? I'll look Zazi. You've made me lose my lunch, now scarred. Don't look at me that way. Help chump and and did it. I can't believe he done it just like that. A roll. That's from the from the film annex. Okay, I did it. I secede as villainous master plan planner. I offer up my crown. Time left on the clock, buddy boy, I'm frightened of it. It's terrifying. It forty one second. I like just Chell. Don't even have to say anything. Let's just fire it. Stretch just is. Yeah, I'm gonna get an ASS am. I could start eating things. What was that? You can start eating move Blang. No, I'm going to get an Asmr mic and start like you just get really close to your mic. To do that, I don't want to engis get really close to you. Just can't really close whisper. We cannot. We cannot tell if you one. I'm doing it too. I just coughed into my mic. How Fun with that? Thanks. Just go right up close his buddy. Do we want another album? What the frictionary? I'm down to clown. No, yeah, Oh fine, you'll have to puss lead me roll persition. I'll go on Alex. all right then, Tom, not twenty, nailed it. Hello and welcome back to another segment between segments, your favorite urban that's what there. Did I tell you? No, Tom, I'm sorry. Well, I'm the story. Did I tell now? Put the acts down, Tom, not a machine gun. How Al Tom, you know done holes into my body. Oh now, yeah, m to throw a duck through of the holes you shot through my corpse. Job. By the way, I'm like spring thought I and I'm gonna do a halt to you. Okay, I'm already frightened. Jump, Hump, that's what you do when you're having a soaked oh no, I hated that. What. So is that? What the one that we did? The one that we did? If yeah, where it's Mormons having sex. What the Cold Party does? The third part does. The jumping is jump, isn't it? Hey, Alex, do you remember last week on the fifty percent majority when we said that any urban dictionary entry that involves sex, Ashley knows it. Actually, just the help came proven. He's the king of Pinattas and Venus. I did. I did. Thank you very much for that. Astley knows all the things about all the things, because I got some questions about that from people that listens about peeps and the jeeps, don't you is he's good with it, he's good with his whanger and he knows how to it's not true. Now I'm just well research. I'm not good at it technically, from a technical perspective, technical way out. It's all there. Just implementing it difficult. You have. You have a theoretical knowledge. Yeah, it's theoretical sexual physics. You just need a good work placement, Ashley, and that is it. You've got one hell of a portfolio. I'M gonna spend a couple of months at a pawn studio and then I'll be qualified. Fair play, head excited to get out. I'll fluff you up. Yeah, I get the certificate in a gold frame and I get a little thing that says I'm allowed to fluff when I go to studios. Now, if you know what fluffing is? No, that's the people call. This time friend Ashley Hall was here, He'd be able to tell me. You know, it's all about sex, it does he know S I do. You know some bits about sex bits as a virgin. I am waiting for marriage, though, so I'm not so jump, Jump Hump, what? What the One? I think it's having...

...such in my campagne. May All. Okay. Yeah, is it when you run and jump and then spear them with the end of your fallace? It's jump Hump, you know, like your run at them, you jump in the air, penis first, or strap on first for you non penis have as. Yeah, is it when you are lucky enough to acquire yourself an evening alone with qualified sex professional, Ashley Hall, and He's so good at it that's frightened. It makes you jump. Shit Christ, your en does any expect doesn't seek you and you go. You're saying the bar too high here, Alex. I wrong. was under deliver, Ashley. That's business, Bebo. Should we find out what it is. Yes, jump Hump, the next level up from the Mormon Dick Soake, a friend of the participating Mormon's, can jump on the bed to a sort of artificial firs thrust, really thereby increasing the stimulation of the soaking parties while still keeping all involved in God's good graces. Sorry, I have to cancel dinner tonight. Stacy needs me to jump Hump for her again. You. I'm a bad person for knowing all the things I know. What I was really expecting was we did all of those words about you being a sex but like our good friend Travis Michael Roy, and then actually what happened was that it's true. Yeah, I don't. I don't find like the truth. Ash. Well, you do, actually, you do very proficiently exactly that, and you put these a lot of people on the way as when, when I was in secondary school, the Internet was like a thing that like is in early secondary school. It was a thing that was like available, it was there and it was sort of becoming more popular. Now you're like ten years older than me and Alex, aren't you? And get fucked. So I would imagine the twenty total. Yeah, I would imagine you were. You were like very early in the game of the Internet and I did Jack with you untill I was fourteen. So, but somehow you had access to walking through the ENCYCLOPEDIASM, but RHETNICA? Yeah, no, I don't think a lot of house. Basically, the point that I was trying to make was ash. I bet you were like j from the in betweens at school, like you knew everything about sex, you just hadn't ever had it. That's pretty accurate. Yeah, I find that hard to argue with. No, Im don't. Yeah, I'm sure you did lots of sex and screws. Now I died. No, I did not. I'm sure you knew all about perspiration, of box wagons, just I you so much about Sephanie and vagabond us. To think of puzzle ver, wasn't it? Pause of peasant verse out as common as I'd like them to be in life and in my fever boast language, grasp pringles and very, very, very pussy. Good Vajoin US peeps and for cheeps is still my favorite. Right. Well, I'll be host now. Yeah, shall I be that out of it? Oh, yeah, but bring us home. Yep, thanks NASA. So you know there's that whole chip trend going on on facebook. No, Chit, okay, okay, Alex em can the first shortage? No, no, for Alex and all the Americans that are listening. There's a restaurant, restaurants probably a stretch. There's an establishment that sells food in the UK called weatherspoons, and and there's sort of been this movement for people to go to weatherspoons count the number of chips that they receive on their plate and also measure the lengths of them as well. So sorry, yes, Tom, not only of a yes, I have seen this on facebook. I've even joined the group. I just how can no one send me a fucking invite for this? This is bowl shakesbook. It's like a website, but for talk. No, that's not fucking cool of you. You don't see. Don't hey, we're on my say you were on my space back in the day, where I was not on my space twenty years now. She's just messaging Mark Rackabug on Linkedin. Going where at the chips? Mark where to fins? The chips guard, MSN bodies. He's on MSN. He says they got spook open. Please cant. No, I'm not updating my fucking MSN stage.

You can, which is a good called you selfish fucks. Hashtag, Hashtag. Love you on MSN. Put your girlfriend's name in your MSM bio. I always was put when nobody was replying. So you did the not, not, not, no, that was you. I didn't not. Yeah, anything. No, like on MSN, like you send it. If it knocks on the screen sounds like this, you remember. Oh yeah, Ash. You would know that off by heart, wouldn't you? I'm not even that much older than you. How old are you? Like twenty two? Write? I'm twenty state, twenty eight, thirty. We so older doesn't remember how old he is. Not Kid. You're old and it's fine. You jaded, you're wrinkled, your weathered, experienced, knowledgeable, powerful guys, sexy thing. I'm last. Have you guys seen my friends? Family? No, my grandson. Guys remember the war? Back then we called it the Great War. The only war I remember is the pools closed on Habout hotel. You played? Have I as well? One such an old old man thing to do. Yes, I played have a hotel and I had a bibo account. I'm not sorry, God, good grief. And See, I played at Mohing ms before we started doing excitabullying before and club penguin before we discrim hangin only what you doing a segment. Just don't tell Stephen Hr it doesn't fucking matter as it what he doesn't know. Kara and yeah, they the chips thing. I don't really to be honest. It was a really lazy segment. I was going to sort of, I don't know, spin it along the lines of we we're international celebrities, and why don't? We can't try and come up with a viral trend. So that was going to be my segment. Yeah, I think a viral trench be everybody listened to thirty through some jarity to all you friends. Do it as well. See How many you can get doing it. Surprised at the end. Challenge, Hashtag. Thirty three percent. Challenge. Too many lay percent challenged with a d at the end. I'm thirty percent challenged. Guys, Hashtag, almost a challenge, almost tag, Hashtag, almost hashtag beans their escape company. We couldn't have HASHTAG. Almost they exist, I think. Can You? Is that how it works? Do you have a Hashtag? Yeah, how about? Yeah, Hashtag, hashtags. The word Hashtag without a Hashtag before it could just start putting it at the end of all of our instagram post just type Hashtag son, just Hashtag Sander. I have a great day. Those guys, the guys over at Sandery FM, absolute homies. They are lovely, aren't they? When you put Hashtag, you are hosting for the podcast. By the way, listeners, you wouldn't be privy to that. You don't know about the inner workings of this show. What makes yeah, bits and bites transport from the internet straight through to you. Spotify, your apple podcasts, but predominantly apple podcasts cars the wings of podcast love, Ash Tom so. So a podcast is like radio, but on the Internet, for like modern people, like for the youth. All Right, what is spotify? Guess what if I's like radio and developened, but you decide. Come on, take me to Astir at the end of this week, please, and from there. No, no, it needs to meet up with his friend supiles. I gonna have a nice chat about knitting, kissing boys and Platt eat his hair, HMM, and buying walking sticks in continence pads for the bed, I mustn't forget. HMM. Well, this, this, this, this fucking segment really didn't have much meat on the bones, did it? No, look on, let me have the think. I was having a think and then you stop talking, so I was interrupted with my thinking. Okay, suppose the show. Sure. Now tell you what you think. You think. I actually just need to have a word with ash in the in the break room quickly, like any I'm about to get fingered at the break room. You might do, but don't INTEX. Come, let's go quickly, whilst Alex just thinking. Can you hurry please, with you? Yeah, I'm kind of kind with cool, cool, so I just I wanted to actually, like, sort of privately, away from Alex, apologize to you, number one, for...

...the way I handled your segment. I feel like I was actually quite mean about it, but I really liked the idea and you can't my meanness. I feel like it might have actually thrown off a little bit. So I apologize because I really like I really like movies and I really like villains and I really like yeah, I know Shit like that. Say. My friend Tom knows lots about this subject and he just didn't. You just did doo key on it. And then also, I just wanted to apologize for making out like you're really old because it's bit. Oh, that's that's fine. I actually forgot about that until just now. Okay, rather ironically, I must say, though, if when we go back out in front of Alex, though, I have to sort of recede back into my podcast persona. So like you know how I actually feel, but I understand. Yeah, of course we'll go back out. Yeah, yeah, I jobbed to pretend you hit me so that Alex can feel safer. Yeah, we'll just do that quick ready. Three, two, one, I hit you in the thigh. Hit me in the thigh. I just punched me dead leg. Fuck, I believe it. Come on, old man, pick it out, go sit down. Yeah, sorry, I'm limping. It's not my God. Why are you limping? Are you okay? I'm actually just very elderly, Alex. don't worry about it. Okay, I remember. No, I remember that. I remember that from before when I've when I've known you for time in Memorial, for time m memorial. So, Alex, did you have a good thing about it? If you got anything to add, or is this segment J yeah, bullshit. No, no, I've got it time, I've got it. A new viral trend is sitting down with your pals for six minutes and thirty nine seconds and actually designing the next great big villain. That's the latest trend. Okay, okay, okay, villains. I think you've got you've got to love them and you've got to hate them at the same time. You do more than the Good Little Papa I'll pretty lovable. Okay, little dog, kind of I there he is. How can you be mad at it? Oh, he couldn't possibly be a villain. Big Twist, he's the bad guy. That's my sorry anecdote. I'm doing doing this show in all different kinds of orders. Today, while I've been away on a holiday, I've been on lay with some friends and some family, and one of the friends we were still outside of a bakery waiting for partners to do bakery shopping, and lady arrived and she had, oh my God, the best little baby yellow Labra dog. So eleven we find show Alex labdors or I could have cried. And he turned around, look this lady at the eyes and said, Oh, she looks just like the JU x dog. Oh No, Shit, Labrador. He meant say and rex, but he said yeah, one instead he said the condoms. Yeah, it's a that dog looks particularly fuckable. Oh so, what about a TV show revolving around a beautiful, innocent Labra dog? HMM, what goes around? It does stealing all that papa has done a theft again, like there is stolen the declaration of independence. There's a there's a movie already about a puppy who's the bad guy, and that scooby dooo and scrappy Doos the bad guy and he's inside of Rowan Atkinson. Somehow. I'd let him be inside of me. Does it? What? Roman actual? So, does he do thievery, though, Thomas? He tries to steal. Yeah, he's tries to steal souls. Oh Shit, that's the worst kind of theft. Some people think that's worse than stealing money. You know. Hmm, what by our feet does murder instead? There's not many side bogs that do murder. Well, the stealing a soul murdog. Is that anything? What if it's Sam was great, okay. What what if it's VAMPIRESM S? If the dog drinks people for fuel, then what? That pulls them apart like a Capri son. Just Kujoe. That film Coujo. I think he drink? Stephen Kings Ujo. Here's a classic. He's a big dog, though I think it's small dog, right, like Labrador Sigh. Okay, Labrador puppy sighs. Right. What about if a Labra dog puppy dressed up as a supermarket helper but friended sup piles? I think I changed name that now. Super Soup, soup, bile, supile, whoops. And and then mix a pension. Then what is that one? So that's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's good a nation we all like to steal. MMM. No, the viral trend was sitting around for six minutes and thirty nine seconds, design in the next villain with your friends. Okay, right, I understand time. We're actually under the ready friends for nine and HAP minutes. Yeah, exactly. This is the trend right now. Currently. We're in it. We're trending, we're trending, we're trendy and...

...we're trending ash. And when somebody's trending that means that like something's being talked a lot about on social media. Oh so we're not just walking fashionably in a new coat. No, pretty fucking good about that. To be honest. I've wanted a coat. The thirty three percent majority is not an anti Oldman podcast, but your host and waiter, Tom Hutchinson, is an agist prick. He wouldn't bring me anything that had any chewy bits in it. I had to have soup because he was worried about my old teeth. Yeah, your old bones, your old dusty teeth. He's cutting up my food for me right now. Ashley's soft teeth. Just a couple soft tea and you can't have too much salt either. You've got to watch your cablesterol ticker. Yeah, just keeping an eye on my little little tiny heart. Well, giving it little kisses. I mean, as far as segments go, I think I've really sort of screwed the pooch here. All, we can't get that to the dog. That would be really yeah, that's that's the Rut. That's the Schneider curt ends with just Tom fucking the dog. My friend actually be able to give you some excellent tips and tricks on how to do it very proficiently. It's true, master of douggie style. Yeah, precisely, Hey, and sense, you do it in the style of a dog. Fuck. Alex knows more than I do? How can we possibly give me the title? Will you've been around. This been a podcast also being bad? Has it barely, barely, just about great success? What you're talking about? I have been your host, host spring thought. I have been your host. The sound of one hand fapping, Ashley Hall. Okay, I can do that, by the way, really aggressive rank with one and that's not a talent. It's a talent when you can work with two. Doing it with two is are we saying Fig Dick? I'm saying flap or clap? I would just saying clap. I said Flap, the one with the fur. Yeah, that's a real shame. I like saying fair as if you said cut. I thought it was a clar noise you made and I thought I was it was finally time for to show off my second hidden talent, which is clapping with one hand. I can't climb my one hand. This is the sound of it. Hang it just sounds like I'm grabbing some cling film. What kind of host of you been Tom I've been the one that really hopes you had a good meal here at the thirty three percent steakhouse. I am I getting a tip. Can I have one please? I'll give you just the tip. Okay, thanks for listening. I guess see you all next week, we hope Byeye. What the fuck happened? I can we I'll weave. Why? How will we famous with podcasting? I don't know. But I think what's really troublesome is that will come out that will turn out being the best episode we've ever done. He is hoping. I hope so. It's come as a really fast I was really not my favorite episode by everyone. I thought for a moment that you had finished recording and and I had anything. All right, bye, bye,.

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