The 33% Majority
The 33% Majority

Episode · 6 months ago

Ep. 35 - Nouns, Knowns and Nought But The Best

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Well. It seems we've become even worse than our previous levels of mediocrity. We're sorry episode 35 of The 33% Majority took so long to get to your kind ear holes.

In this week’s episode, your 3 favourite festive fellows will each spend their 15 minutes of fame discussing the things we judge at face value (sorry if this includes you), new slang names for capitalism's best shops and stores, and how to create our bestest thing.

Hope you love it as much as we love you xoxo

But Zinger and also the Jangles Brazilians could chig again. Hello everyone, and welcome to the thirty three percent majority. This is an epic games podcast where three friends play fortnight. I'm your host with a post, Tom Hutchinson. No, I think you're find. I'm your host Mark Appler, but you're fine. I'm your host, a lepper of Lincolnshire, Ashley Hall. I like. I am actually mark apply, though. Hi everybody. You're not make appler, no, it's me, my Musky, hey, markey, p Hey d marcus. To you, sir, and then make my marcus plied. It's his full name, Helen Na. How are you, JAKE JK? Is Me your favorite host, Alex Spring thought. Oh my God, Alex, I'm actually here. I was all a prank. Mark apply, I wasn't even here. Scary excited join like my my minecraft plus used for him to sign. Why are you laughing? So my creeper, please we do it, chaps. How is there? I'm I'm burn out from podcast recording because we we already did this this week. Some face, they's are we all over again? And was definitely someone's fault, and that's and that's what we can say about name names, but mark apply was involved. Yeah, he was. He Shit allegal team will be. I fucking hate the guy. I can't stand it. Like, let's plays. He's horrible best man. Get back to your rendo redemption, to's your horrible boy. I've always traps. I've always preferred BEAUDIPI. He I did like market pliers, GTO five role playing that he did. I like that. I haven't watched a Beautifie and I've watched like some of Mark Applier, but only in prop hunt, which is my favorite. Oh, I like the og rock hunt with gold glove. That was good. I just watch gold glove a lot. What happened gold gloves? What happened to Gold Glove? Does he used to get, used to get, he used to get docks done a lot swatted and finally just admitted being like associated with terrorist or anyway so tired of it. Just turned up to it. But that's that's enough about youtubers from ten years ago. That's wait. Now I wanted to talk about to Boscus and all of his bad stuff that he did to people, did to write. I'm not up to date on to buscus, Tabasca Strama. I know he did some songs. I assume it something predatory. Oh why? Yes, tricks, Pisa, date, then face please. Rome wasn't built in a day. Blue Transition. The birds get the hell out of them because they know something's going down. He gonna die. No, no, it's a medium shot, Hans Zoom and slow moments. He's the target. Mysterious wooded man watches, watches distance. Take a second to look awesome, time to go walking slow motion, so you still look awesome. God just saw you. He's gonna shoot you, but don't mind him. Just keep looking awesome. Shadow will take care of you. White. That's like half the fucking song off the dome piece. He like of all the fucking bullshit for that. So like top days. Not often that you go off on a big tirade like that, but I'm glad it was that he shows. Yeah, and so what happened was he did that song and then raped some people. I think good song, though. You can't fault listen. Have Fault music, but can fault the man. Did he actually do sexy crimes? Is He? I don't I'm not. I'm not sure. I don't believe he's as a criminal. Alleged sexual crimes. Yeah, Oh no, sorry, I don't mean crime, Aal convicted crimeonal. He probably is a crime. Only see on last week as well Shane Dawson, who had a bit of a relay St Beth, was on a phone watching youtube videos. Or so I fucking know that voice. So you watch it. That is a man. I used to watch it when you had a mail alongside it. Just claims hanging out with Jeffrey. Start trying to be relevant again doing short sewn. Shane, you Choo. I was referencing the history tube at the band. I sort of that kind, that side of influence. Yeah,...

...they're that's a weird side of celebrity that I just really don't like at all. It's just very strange to me. Do you know I have a favorite youtuber? Sorry, what was that? Do you have a favorite youtubeer? Do you have people on the Internet where? Yeah, we do. Yeah, I have. I have a few people that I watch, like Dank pods. What's that about? Tommy, good old Donk, I like we like that. I like mkbhdly. Have you done a dank pods? I haven't done Dank pards. I do watch your mom's House podcast with Christina Pushitski and Tom eggsa. I don't know who any of these people. Just word they are American comedian. Okay, good ones, well known ones, just ones like famous, because one's cause people just commedians. Funny. I want Tom Cigara makes Tumsig makes you like cry laugh. So you guys almost as funny as I am. Then you guys have mic stands right. Yes, sir, how I is standing. When I say stable, how much can you move them before it will disconnect you Mike and we'll do podcast crimes. A lot or not very much, an awful lot. Yeah, I've got my oven. Mine could disconnect. I have a lot of movement. Okay, should we stand for the rest of this episode? I'm getting it now. Let's just stand. Let's just let let's let's I've got I've not got much energy in me. Yeah, so many cries, so many right, there we go. Is that that what we stood? Yeah, stood up. I'm not, I've got a stupid no, it's just always thinking. You don't have to stoop, just get the MIC stand in the right place. ALERBT ALEX is. Alex is nine foot six and has to stupid them. We do have to stop a little bit. I always thought Tom was the tall one, but it's actually me that. Yeah, you are the big boy, you're the big largeman. I always thought Tom was like Tom. When we met, I thought you were going to be like six foot nine. It was only six five. So I was pretty from six five and a quarter. So exactly. Okay, Tom Tom, I'm stood up. Why am I still? Just wanted to add some more power to this episode. I didn't think that my booming singing voice was enough. So we all stand. We feel good. Okay, we see. Yes, we stand. We stand at Queen. And does anybody have any actual anecdotes to say? Because I'm not real I don't really feel up to repeating mind from yesterday. So I went I've got diseases. If that's my only one. So yeah, we can talk about your going a rear if you'd want. If you'd like to, I s's the sign the lists. Your time's your time. We just that. What have you like to talk about? I've got I got. My partner has crovid, don't she? She's getting the House. Is What you've got? You've got that. You've got covered. Team. Gavin's come, Govin's come over, having I had heartburn, and then Gaf gave was gone, but they's just Ashley's gave La. I can't believe. Gave scant. That's A. That's Kevin States. I haven't heard gave lar in a while. Is that can say Sire A, traditionally having in station. Is it is. Everybody in your house like okay, like, do we need good? No, one's dying. Knee has knee a zero. She's ground. You will have to go back. And I did that one out actually, because I don't all the most is just heard some beeps for that. All Right, okay, listeners, don't. Don't pay attention to that. And there is your absolutely one hundred percent opportunity to drop in that knee is has given permission for her name to know we in the program like I wanted to say. I wanted to Oh yeah, sorry, and let me just I wanted to know. I wanted to call that one back in from from the deleted episode that we had to scrap because of all your criminality. The marke applied it. I thought I dropped that back in because the yeah, the listeners wouldn't have known about that. The Bee's knees is formally requested a name change to knee. She's sent a letter to the law license. Now we're doing the same. We could suld. We could do the same. Groups about calling her elbow instead, if you'd like. Oh yeah, well, just fingern knee, L bow. Anyway, classic, Same Joe. Don't do that ripped repeat it, repeating Joe. Let's do here in the end of this. You'll hear that jokes. Is Brilliant, isn't it? You have just the AP just said, Ashley, and we did some stuff yesterday. Some of it was funny by our standards, and so we'll probably just chuck that at the end. So if you want to stay till the end and listen to the stupid things we said about spider man, no, we home some raw, raw, unedited that, if you're present, majority hijinks. Crap, rap, HMM. Just the words we do spout at each other will cut out all the racism. But apart from that, as it as it was served, that's just I'm trying to think of what my've been racist in the worst who were actually you don't. Don't do racism here. I don't, guys, you can. My anecdote is I went to the dentist of stuff to do the pretty dentist that I had nice to its nice. I've never felt taller. And then took...

...a mask off and it turned out it was a bill whole there about myself. Alec I always thought a face very small, teeth, very stout. They're not. They're not just long. I agree, a short. You have short teeth. Yeah, for the size of your head. They're right. Yeah, it just feels like have you ever seen like a teddy ball teeth in it? It just because it's scary, because my teeth a shorter in my guns. It means I can take a bigger bite through, whereas you you if we open our mouth to the same angle, your teeth getting. I've got performance teeth. That is that how you maintain such a such a huge girthy size. You just unhinge your jewel to consume the maximum amount of nutrition. I am serpentime nature and yes, I'm inch. Bite your and I could just sworry crazy to swallow entire keys him around a fruit of fruit bowl and just the water horrify. Even see that video of the snake eating an egg and then we can see the one shelf the like that snake, that Hippopotamus, snopotomic there's a snake, what does a whole hippopotamus, and that's me from my family trip to Africa, did and I got pitched. Conchole whole potamus. You can go. Yeah, I think that's it. Really told me didn't want to do it yet that'll do right, I offer you boys. Yesterday I was going to go in with what makes the perfect room, and after the reception it received, which, if you stick around, you're here at the endlessness, I've decided instead to go with what are we something we judge people by immediately, and I'll give you an example, because it happened to me at work today. I was having a really nice conversation with somebody and I realized halfway through they were wearing like crux. How cool, you can learn a lot about someone by a crowd like. I like crocs, I don't know, and I just like listen, it's the middle of the day, you're at work with me, you've got a crack on what's going on. But it was the fact that it was a CROC with like the pins on it, yeah, the badges that. Yeah, they've got a special, special name. CROC CRA cratches Gie BITs. No, it's jimmits hang a googled it. Ith gibits, you're googling the thing. I already prefer cratch crack Cragitt it, crack Cragiet it, crab crab crabs bits. Okay. So, yeah, but so the she had at badge on the the old Crockeroo and it was just a peace symbol and I was just like it's crocks with a pea symbol that I know you're my kind of persons. That has got big woodstock energy. That's got big woodworker energy, hasn't it, dude? Honestly? And then she goes, Oh, yeah, they're further. God, I've got fucking holes in it. The tactical crocs got holes in no, but they've got like a lining around the inside. Yeah, they've got four wheel drivers. One of them we just pry back, but you can't put them in. You can put them in race mode if you need to get somewhere energy. You want a jug and not kick your sandlet someone's fucking mail. What did you learn about this person, apart from that you'd like them? Well, I made the assumption that they were probably quite left leaning. Yeah, because like it's a piece of yea and probably quite left leaning and they were kind of a like an off white where they probably wear white when they were in new CRAC and I just thought you've used those, you warn them, you've loved them, you don't care that they look a bit scruff. That's how high high my lish symbol and I'm like, you clearly use things till they're done being used and then you know you fucking keep using him. Can Perform Fair enough, and I we are recording on it's the seventeen of December and the grand tours special episode Canajetoi comes out today and in the trailer for that and they mentioned that the French do not, unlike every other comp country in the world company, yeah, the French Limited, sponsored by France, like every other country in the world, don't judge people based on their car. So you just see people right driving around it, thirty year old pieces of ships, it don't matter. But I definitely judge people on the okay, so fast on me. If you see a businessman getting into a small, small hatchback, small economical hatchbag, I don't know what I learned about that person, but it is something I've learned about that man. You make a decision. You're like. I like, that's not going to be my life. I know what I need to know about this man. MMM, like, there's a chap that works in purchasing at my work and he's the most man that works in purchasing you'll ever me. You, you know him. You can picture any works a but and he's there. He definitely is there the end of every day. hops into an M for though, and it doesn't sue. You gets into the MF. You're like, all right, okay, you got a repressed morning hour. I was able to buy those capacitors for you. Those flux come. Then insert BMWM for noises here. It is mental.

That doesn't matter, but I love it. Can I suck all of the humor and comedy out of what this segment is supposed to be and get real, course, can. Yeah, yeah, I've never think I might have told you guys this story before, but when I used to commute to and from the office in London t and Shire, I would obviously see some very strange occurrences and it's difficult to not judge people. But I heard something the other day and it very much applied to what I saw and I think it's a really nice way to think about things. Understandable that you might want to judge somebody for wearing a CROC or, you know, maybe not suiting a BMW, but I saw a sweet girl doing nothing wrong apart from not wearing a mask. You know, you could say that's debatably right, but I don't know. And she had a large amount of acne. It was it was me, no, it wasn't me, fucking and she had a large amount of acne and spots sort of like a round her cheeks and my initial reaction was, fuck me, clean, wash your face, find something that makes that not happen. Surely that's not that much effort, was my initial response when I saw it. But then I remembered something that I heard one which was to say that the first thing you think in any given situation is sort of the way that you've been taught. or saying such maybe sort of a left leaning word, but conditioned and condition, conditioned to think, and your second over here on the right, we have heard of the word condition. Okay, good, yes, the first Tampoo, but your second thought is how you actually feel about something. And on seeing her and making horrid remarks in my head about her fate have facial issues. I was like she maybe she just does really oily skin and she struggles. And I've never struggled with acne. So how would I, as a person like an why can I make a comment that's such a legit reason to not wear a fucking yeah, like, I don't. I know about you, but I've had actually pretty bad when I was a kid, and covering your face like with any sound yeah, it sounds like a bad but also all, also, I would, I would certainly prioritize mine and the people around me his health over some spots. But that's why the bye. Oh, yeah, no, for sure, for sure, but it's got a stuff. It's got to suck all. But I've never, I've never suffered with spot spots really at all. I'll get one every probably caught. HMM. Whenever I get one, though, Beth is like, can I fucking squeeze it now? Just leave the fellow and he'll go away when he's ready to go away. Actual's so hot to just squitch my face and make blood. Cats are really great. Way For them to get infected, though. You guys are really close. It's super good. Ware of it like getting shit into that like. But yeah, like you know, they're the rule that we've always had in my house, that, even growing up, has always been if you can't fix yes, five minutes. Yeah, fucking mention. Yeah, but I think we've had this a definitely had this. I think I've might be spoken to Tom About it. But yeah, if I see like you got some can fix that very quickly. If you got like a big fucking spot, I'm not going to be like hey, you've got something on media. fucking no. Hello, sir, you have six liters of mustard down the front of your shirt. You can't do that. You can't ring mustard out of a shirt. It could and it made me feel bad all day. Alex sat over a plate full of different hot dogs. Are just wandering out best to apply the mustard, just going through different techniques. It was I just have a shit, Ye's not this one. I've got mustard all down the lava from my science. I'm doing spoons, unrelated as anybody else. Still standing up and I'm so tired. I'm standing and I was tired. Oh yeah, sit down. I mean Tom it was your idea. You're welcome to say it was your idea. You haven't. I tell you what it's problem. It's probably fit fixing some of my audio criminallytics. I'm now facing curtains which are going to be absorbing all that nasty, Yucky Echo. Here's hoping saying that, and I feel like I can hear the echo in my monitor. Maybe it, maybe I'll say yes, I don't just bad at podcasting. Alex a very bad at it. I such I suck shit. Mark appliers at this, all of them. I don't really know what any of that does. In touch with his legal team. That Market Pliers curtains. That's a thing you can judge people by. You judge people buy. What Youtube is they? Well, I would love to go through people that you are subscribed to on Youtube and just kind of judge you based on that. Fuck it, I'm open. Well, I I did just get an avocation to send my internets and stay here. Quite like I still a pick my fucking my google accounts. Nature of Tom How do you? How do? How do you go access rich data? Oh, you go on your...

...subscriptions tab and then towards the top it says all a yeah, I got this is so many people. I've got a fair few. I don't have any of that. We read out the worst ones that we're most embarrassed about. Yes, the most embarrassing ones. We Got Tesla. I'm subscribed to Tesla here about all of Elon's good cars. I'm subscribe to the thirty three percent majority YouTube channel. That's the embout us, embarrassing Jack Septic Eye. That's very bad. Accept the I also so hard aviation. One hundred and one. That's just a man. That's just a man that's got a private planes license that he just flies about places that. I love it. I bet you just like the the pre flight checks, don't you? That's your thing. I do, I do. I would love to own a plane. Sad peep before a don't like that. Is it his Tupuscus? Yeah, when did he last up load? When did you last when did he last upload? One month ago. Oh my God, he's still active. Oh Shit, called optimistic bomb shelter song. That has one hundredzero views. That's a small amount for what he used to pull. As to Darla millows, mellows, yes, that's kind of all I've got. I think I'm subscribed to myself. That's not great, is it? I'm not subscribed to myself. Tom Are you subscribe to any any neffair? I am subscribed to I justine. Alex is laughing, but I'll be honest. Thinks Lady. Think, blond lady that pretends to do technology but also vlogging the SUPERCAR. Blondie of Tech. Yes, Super Car is Super Co do not the shit. I thought she's reading off this crick and this mcclaren's got a five point nine liter air conditioning kids. Okay, nothing. God, I hope we never get I just in famous because I know exactly I like. I'm on Wikipedia. It's pretty fucking horrific. I justine or EAS Eric is an American youtuber has over the hostess very famous. My worst one, my want, my very worst one that I subscribe to Casey Nice Start. Yep, Casey Nice start. Didn't Casey know what sell somebody? You're allowed one. I think we've established this. You're allowed to do what. Nice stop. Question Mark. Do you put question marks at the end of Google? When you Google, you put question bugs? Yeah, yeah, of course I won't. Google is a place ask questions to Ashley's very nature. Everything you type into Google is a question. Everything, well, I type in. Please, thank you type and please thank you as well. Be Rude, you're good. You are so fucking old. KUSS definitely says please to series. You guys are gonna get a definitely opens up internet explorer and Google's Google to begin googling something wrong again. I use opera GX, which, if they want to sponsor this, is as you used to run Linux because it's a good I judge you based on Linux. No, I ran. I ran because, because you have no idea to operate your opera system, it was just as it was just a system. I could make it do the thing. The thing about Linux as well for me, is that when you download it and you install it on your computer, it just leaves out like a central thing. So it's like you want Bluetooth. No, go download that Shit so you can do it. God, have it built in. Yeah, get your driving embarrassing. This is Internet foraging. You can't just be given the whole feast. You have to learn how to hunt. You just get windows when the Internet was comes you guys all time. Why are you love good human jobs? Practically, I, like my in fact loves it. Yeah, that's pretty I actively hamstring myself and I use ipados. I actively make it worse for myself. Who the fuck existent to this fuck? He's an American Youtube Personality, which tells me nothing of filmmaker, which tells me nothing of Vlogo, which is not a job, so says the podcaster.

I judge Ashley based on the things. He's not really fucking place. I judge Ashley. Hey, guys, I have one more thing, and we got thirty seconds, if so. One thing that I judge somebody for once, which I actually think is warranted. There used to be somebody that I worked with and if she was and seeing a little snack in the evening, she wanted a little tasty, little treat, she would go to her fridge, she would grab a bag of Mozzarella, inside of like that Brian Water to the sink. She would open it up, drain the brine, take out the Mozzarella ball and eat it like an apple over the sink, and I definitely judged her for that. For fucking man, chase your please. What of how else? As I just yeah, I don't know where you went. Back I was so angry about someone eating Mozzarella straight from the fucking fridge. Trouble, trouble with standing up while recording is up highs where all the heat is in this room. So now to take off the Hoodie. Guys get a bit sweaty. I'm B's very boy. I'm getting hot. I'm actually a Cappella right now. I can't hear a thing. Could you sing loosen up my buttons for me by the pussycat down taking a shot, because we're not asking for a friend. What was the question about actually being old? He's old. Sing, sing a pussycat song style. Pussy cats are like two thousand. We had. Well, what, get off my cake. Yeah, Oh, we were but children. How old are you both? Twenty three, hundred and twenty four. I was twenty eight. I got five years on you. I would have been size allful, that's allful, tire any minute now. I was having sex when you guys were playing Pokemon, which is why are you saying to me? And no time. Ask Your sister. I don't know if you have a sister. Oh, how was it? Sick, birthday part later. Good, HA, ha ha. You want it really magical? She's talking about this. Okay, she fucking needs it right. Okay, speaking of your Bo Alex, let's go to the YACCO zone. Come on over, everybody, to my pits. Welcome back, everybody, to the segment formerly known as urban what the Freak snary, now known as Alex's Pitts, where we take random urban dictionary entries and just try and figure out what the Frenck they mean. What the pits they mean? The entry for today, the entry for today's speed dealers. Speed dealers as a gear box. It's an automatic gearbox. She pressed the pedal on the right. Goes it. I will deal you some speed. He shuffles out three gears like a deck of cards and hand you second up the speed dealer. Did either of you guys ever go to like a youth club when you were like an early teenager? Yes, I did. Now I didn't have them. We were too busy down the mine. Zag On yourself, did you do? You remember how they used to have those little like kiosks that would sell they we're in the UK, so they had a weird name called like a Tux shop. You're yes, I don't say the Tuck shop full to the brint delicious and fanciful sweets. Yes, and they would. They would sell in numbers to children. A speed dealer, artificial flavorings that make the children ingested. Use for power? Yes, they just begin to vibrate, consume process and uses pure mischief fuel. Do you remember? There was that thing about blue smartie's and the blue ones specifically mate like work, was cocaine for children? Know, for me it was. You know, the little pots of Jelly used to get a like birthday parties. HMM, if I had any quantity of one of those, that was it. I was on a high that was ever coming down. That's it. That's not a chemical, that's a psychological because you eat the jelly and you're like the Jelly testing, you tell me, wibberly, wobbling and inspires you to do speed. We must pick now, and I also must be wobbling. It's a speed dealer, is what I call the man who every two months brings me a copy of lightning, the Queen's cars, and I just eat the desk. I just a little over the month, just over two months. I just think you did does it take to get to the center of it? And then he comes back with a new just brings me a new copy of lightning the queen every week. Speed speed dealers are originally used by Sydney skaters as a term for wrap around sunglasses typically worn...

...by bikis. WESTY's and speed dealers the most highly prized. They almost highly prized. Speed dealers are west coast customs with flames and reflective lenses. That sounds colloquial as fuck. It really does. That entry came from. It sounds like supposed so I'm going to doubt. I'm down voting that entry. It came from Kisser match on November the twenty one, two thousand and thirteen. fucking wow, nothing better to do kids a match eight years ago. You fucked us up and you ruined our day and will never forgive you. will spend the rest of our podcast careers hunting you down. Already forgot. Will trying to remember. Bounty Dog, bounty on, bounty dog. You see the lake, Bounty Black Dog, the bounty herd back the dog team. The bounty hunter fad the m world and then literally believed he had the M word. Pat. I'm sitting down. I'm so sitting down. I've got to sit down badly. Hunt down so much computer now I really like stand it up. This is how I record a podcast now. It's so much better down here. Honestly, kids, you not so county. You were the want to bail. It was your bloody idea. Now I'm yeah, the right hooked on the sauce. I'm never given it. You don't have to stay up there for like strength reasons, like it's cool if you want to sit strength and conditioning. I'm standing because I've not done any standing today and I should be Awak right now. So okay, I'm going to host now. Shall I please Thomas Take it away for us? You know how I spoke about epic James and his Fortnight Games in the intro? Yes, surely we do. We, me and my brother and also US three idiots. I've been like referring to it, to the game, so that I don't have to say it. I've been referring to fortnight as two weeks yes by the bare, bare naked ladies, is that it's been. You're so old. You're so fucking old me, it's to always fuck it. I just what? What? Who? Who? What? They naked? Who are they? They did the Big Bang theory in Troy. I think carry yourselves, both of you but continue. Yeah, okay, the good program that's got sheldon in it, where it does not the bad program the the bad program with with my friend Sheldon, where he goes, and also not the Jangles Brazilian good Higer Chah, we're back here again. It's time. I was trying to think of one so I could jump join. You just gave the chuckles too many times. Shure, it's a studied Alex. what were you talking about? So I'm sure it was something. It was fortnight, epic, epic James has two weeks, to weeks, the two weeks game. I call it that because I don't want people to know I'm there, like playing on fortnight. I have just docked myself a little bit by saying it on are on my podcast, but it's fun game. I was thinking what we could do is try and come up with like new abbreviations or like colloquialisms for names of things, an example being fortnight, calling it two weeks, or just an easier one, McDonald's. We could just call that Donno's rather than macky's. That one's fun, but you could confuse Donno's with anyone you know called Donald that you colloquially called done it. I don't know anybody like that. Don't get cheese big, you just spend half an hour at your mates house. But we can apply this to everything. I've got so many things in this room. I'm will look around and I'm gonna just fucking just give them a go. Mirror, the Americans say in a strange way, where they get a young in there. I don't know why you're where. We really just make a slightly sad noise. M Yeah, and I just go mirror marine of me. It's the pain of okay, little pain PA and Alex. that's the pain of pain of Alex, and everybody gets a paint of alid paid of being American. Yes, so what about for a counter argument for that one? How about hear me out? Yep, glass to h like glass, glass to the glass of Yes, tricky glass. I like glass to it makes it sound like it's got gravitass glasses, suckle. Oh, nothing, it's nothing. I've got some dice in here. Bones know that one already exists. throut roll the bones, math, pebbles. That's see, I like that one. That's really a...

...nice one. Pad. Yes, I like that. Pedals at all. So I said petals backs and because you can get to work on them as well if you roll an if he didn't want to work anyway. I have a by have a bicycle next to me and I'll be calling it not math paddles, half car, nearly a car. HMM, a motorless bike. It's good. One Day David attenborough's favorite car. I think I'm good to David Amber's favorite car to work today, cycle cycle pulls out as a bray. So the Carlos David at he loves. Good. So, no, why you never see Oh Sagon Act? Sorry, I knows it's quite important. On. I just wanted to point out that I've got a laser ink jet printer in my office. Cool. So go on. What was your thing? That was what I had to say. Now it's your mine. was going to be to you guys know why you can't Tame Zebras? No, to busy. Why you never see Thams? Ever, as you think about. I was distracted mostly for the most because during is razing. Is it? Is it because they see everything in black and white? Classic, but now it's actually because they don't have a social hierarchy. They exist. Yeah, I don't like there's not one zever interest munch for this one. Okay, that yeah, there's no post line, so you can't like teach them to take commands because they don't exist in it in a way that there are al just use a lot of the start of this as a set up to a joke. But it wasn't, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, no, it wasn't. Now I just want to let you know, just learning that we did. So you know the film racing stripes? Do you ever the film racing stripes, for the little girl gets a zebra and she went some races. Were their? No, yeah, it's bullshit. Know that. I haven't. Well, I know you haven't, and Tom's not like thirty, so he hasn't either. But anyone listening to this at above twenty, kind of seven ish, is going to remember racing stripes and now know that it was a lie and they should stop getting their fucking hopes up. Life is cruel. Great, okay, so, if McDonald's is Donno's real life jpeg May, if McDonald's is Donno's, what a the calling domino's? I don't think it real life jpegg maker that one is. This is frinder in jet my laser are Engel. Right, that's that's good one. I came up with during that whole time about Zebra's. That's what I was thinking about. I'm saying down, but yeah, I'm please used to see you really took my zebra lesson to heart. Dominos W is a breasts, Domino's and McDonald's time you were saying. Yeah, so if dominant, if McDonald's is now Donno's, what are we calling dominos? The Pizza, that colboration. That was easy one, was easy. That we're going to cut. Now we're going to call it daddy dumbs. Okay, Jack and Jo with what if? What about Papa John's? Yeah, well, how we abbreviate in that? Daddy Johns, hej's, Father Johnson's, Daddy Jones and daddy other, Jonathan, Father Champson, Father, Pizza, one angle and pizza to paternal figure, Johann Joe. Huh John. Did you know there's magic and a bad song? That's a thing from the did you know that? I still don't know who Casey Nice days. I he's no one straight. He's literally just a Volga. That's all he does. Why is it with Logan Paulse he's with every just had a casey nice stat says he's ready for his redemption story. What did? He killed a guy, according to you, I thought I killed it. He looks like you might as Niceta was the guy who popularized vlogging. He was the guy that made that a thing on youtube when youtube began. He's weird that people think that they're so important in the thoughts are like worth listening to for, like long enough that you'd make a video of it. Isn't it like twenty minute long video? Who's got that higher opinion of yourself? Yes, I imagine. So just fucking your thoughts out with stelling. Yeah, actually getting that. Casey stand a three percent minority. I wouldn't. I Would Casey Nice. That recorded his face, whereas I think we just record the main bit, the good bit, voices. I could record by face stuff I wanted to. I don't looking cameras here. Yeah, you and Tom Could. I don't. I couldn't do that because I haven't got a face for count. I'm gonna do it. You're both you. I will do a goof that. Only you two could enjoy, as you look like an old bag of flower because somebody wants to need me. Oh why is Alex got to Piss on us? This is a terrible meal. You're laying in Alex's lap. Listen as we are. He's petting your hair and telling you it's a good boy. You're about to get your genitals eight by Alex. it's horrible. Just a just a just a go pro point directly at my face from penis level. That's all it is. That's what we're looking at here. My telly gets it the way quite a bit. Your Alex has did to me's a lot in the way of a Lee. Could you do me a favor. Put something like dark over the camera and then slide it back so it looks like you're pulling back, you know. HMM, Alex has a four. Now...

...it's a way nice. Let's just isn't a joke, but it we're looking up at Alex from here the Pov. This isn't the joke. The listeners can enjoy it really boats wells who are radio program like we can just tell them it, but it's not. Take this probably when I hear but right up against my face, POV, you're having a podcast with Alex and joining your his mic let's just I haven't got a camera down you so old man. I could get I could get obs, go in and record. Can you up? Yeah, if I get obs open, though, I won't be able to. Yeah, don't do that. Be a pretty face. Right. Okay, say, the legs of my segment most definitely fell off. Oh, no, little bit. No, no, there are other there are other names for things. Alex, what did you call a microphone? That made me in some like they're Michael. My my Webcam is a Gopro that's mounted on top of a point. Last, don't worry about so, you fucking worried. Just want's go for I just want for ultra wide. Just not right. Yeah, this is, this is this is not a podcast anymore. No, really is. What will do? It is will just turn off. Yeah, because that's really not going to translate to audit. That's a punt nest and we'll speed round. Okay, Yep, so let's close our eyes. Picture. Where are? There are a lot of things. The supermarkets. You Water The supermarket. First thing on the left when you go into my supermarket is the crispy cream donuts down. WHO NAME FOR DONUT? KK No, Holy Brown bread, right, Jesus. Yeah, okay, let's just jove just the left bread. Jove that we perfect. Just to the left of that. Every when you've seen it, you're a change right, no time for goofs just to the left of that sandwiches. Say No, Sano, Santo, bread and bread, Sammo, good old Sam Samuel a, Samuel the enjoy a nice sound. Yes, okay, Colt. Wait, Alex, you forgot, you got, you got, you forgot. Some really big ones. TESTCO's it did, techy, tech it, Tessica, tess A. I like testess. It's a good new one that I came up with. Takings here say nos for for our one. Harm Alex the same. WHO's Morrison's? Mossy's little, small, you know, not going for a small, small. It's kind of small shop. Yea Co up, all d all friends together by be any one way away. What Way and where where we will be? Where were we go in sharping to night. I need beans and cheese cold. We could call Mercedes and said this time more sad. He's okay, cool. Yeah, difference, different sounds on it. Just up the road from the holly where I live is a vets the Catney, who's a very captain dog turn. This is going well. From that is Ashley's old flat, crap, horrible place. Fuck dead's what you mean? Young towns live summer coats. No, it wasn't. You Scandalous Liar actrol station, car cafe. Oh, that's lovely, that's horrid. Was gonna call a rumpy. Pumpy, I don't like I like M as well. I mean, is this guard? This won't hold up in it. This won't hold up at a quarter of R dches, mother girl. Okay, what about go carting? M Little Race Time? How to know if you're fat? That's how I yeah, okay, was far? It's because me and Tom went go karting and it was a lot quicker than me and and I refused. I refused to believe it was based on skill. Did you do big ex just my mass holding me back on sure, sure that makes you feel better. Deal, brant. No, that's quite the anky stick an key, Auntie, stinky, Anky, Anky, just just ank the the at the anti stink. Yeah, here that makes it sound like glass. Nice, but smells stinker side think. Okay, cool point to me. If this is a game, looks so far. Long Chair, Long Chair, thick chair, lung chairs it. Yeah, chair thick with three C's, the share fucking three big fats. Yeah, okay, bad chair. That's my time over. Boys. That's it as bad segment by bad participation from us. No, I don't think so. Yeah, fun time for everybody, though. You think I did about one? Okay, if you say so. Do we have anything to say on on if we were to board the money train, or should we just do? I have a small thing to talk about. Right, play the intro really, really quick then. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Speed up. You can't make it easier yourself just because you're editing this thing. The thirty two percent. Watch me. Yeah, my Solo Project, the thirty three percent sincerity, it's been decided,...

...will be a just just me talking most of the time with strangers, as opposed to having a third person sitting with me and a stranger, which we might do if Alex on Tom are available. I will ensure the I won't help you branch out this podcast. How dare you? I strive solely for mediocrity. Alex is off sick that day. Yeah, sorry, I forgot. Give me middle ground or give me death. Yeah, I'll be pushing I'll be pushing to record some of those kind of just in the New Year, hopefully released by start of February. So keeping it for that. If you have anything that you'd like to talk about and you are a stranger to me, Johanna, just Joanna, just give us a rundown of kind of from the top, what it is that their three percent sincerity actually is as please from the top and make it pop with your wet assadcast. I'll give you everything I've got from this wrest podcast. Wo Wow, what it's a whereever podcast? Yeah, me and my well ast podcast. So hopefully be talking to anonymous people all over the world, mostly and Nottingham, unless you can be asked to, as you can be asked to, have a microphone. Join me on a Google meets call, record the whole thing and let me edit it and then we'll have an utter about how you want to fucking go about this bullshit. But the anybody, anybody interested, go on Amazon, buy a podcast. Dude, the chat with I see, return it, kick and give it back to Jeffrey chat with me. You'll take your sand of my it jet. Listen, Jeff loves it when you borrow stuff off in Tom has been borrowing books after I do it with the books all the time. It's a forever. It's a forever. N So, yeah, the projects and me talking to strangers. If you'd like to be one of those strangers, get out US on twitter. It's the thirty three PM on twitter, or the thirty three PM sincerity, I think, or the thirty three pe sincerity. Will figure that out when I fucking get to it. For exactly post. It's not impost. I'll fucking listen from calling in my voice saying in a much different tone. But yeah, that's what I'm doing and I'd like to join me. Pricks, Hey, now we'll go. We'll take a really quick trip to Yung City with the quick intro of that. Now you got to say the night. So welcome back to Alex's quickly. Welcome to Alex is on pits. The entry for this one is food. Sorry, it's what food? Just the word Food, same spelling, F Oh, Oh d food. It's going to be hard to find comedy in just that word. Is it all right? Should we go for another one, given it an edible substance which comes in a variety of I was going to do that thing that I do. That's a good goof where I just tell you the most of the definition, the most straightforward. Well, but I would have gotten a point. Fuck, yeah, Tom, just go us a kiss. Go get a smooch for you boys. Go Get geog you aret. I think it's a yogurt. Yeah, but I think it's a Yucky type of yogurt that's maybe had some a human added. So that is an American brand of yogurt. It's a yogurt for on the go. It's a yogurt with bacteria so lively you can't fucking catch. Okay, want it, buy it, but then that's it. The game is on, right, okay. So a mobile, y'all, get into the ether. You Open it. It's gone from both ends, but it's still diarrhea and poor thing. If you manage to eat it, you do, you will get explosive diary. It's just it's just Yogot, yogget, yes, HMM, and it's you then become the you do a shit, you do a shout your mouth. Go having incorporated. Plc Casey Nice comes over and that Casey Nice try alone of goes on the shelf. Go get incorporated and then somebody buys you and goes K see this delicious Tommy, Yok, and you go know, you won't fucking catch me, because that's it. Good, okay. That's why I think it is Tom but then they but then they do tom and I end up in a supermarket themselves and it's perpetual. Go, go to go, go as ization go. Is there? Is there a character limit on urban dictionary? No, thank you. Well, that's what I definitely think. It's that, then I yeah, okay. So the answer is to give or receive oral sex whilst driving in a motor vehicle. Don't suck me off while I'm driving. I can't dry. Well, I would, I would struggle with this. I'll distract you. No, no, I don't think it is being the recipient man, because you maybe you just not had head potent enough. But I'll crash your car, crush you. Come pick me up. I'll crush your car on the way to pick Alex Up. Okay, right, yeah, that got got four thousand. Cork, Gork DA W K G A W K A W K. and then with all of this number five nonsense, it's happening.

I am it's the host and I think with everything going on at the moment. Ash knee is as got the dreaded rowner. I have to work from home now Tom Everything? I don't really know. There's actually it's pretty sunny over there. I have depression. No, everything's all right with Tom. fucking worried about it. Everything's great with Tom in the corner. Okay, you're shout. Luck in a room. Listen, I've got, I've got, I've got regular on Vanilla Depression, covid depression and seasonal affection to all being alive in it. It's real painting and I thought, I thought that's what we could do, is we could run through a number of categories of things. I haven't prepared any of them, but we can. We can make them up, go deep down into the rabbit hole and find the best of that category and then, towards the end, we combine all of them and we create the best thing, something a symbol of hope in this dystopian world in which we live, the horribleness of life combined into a glorious shape. Tom's turned his Webcam on. He's making a very, very unimpressed face to this fucking capron and it's just dead eyeing the camera, whilst Alex is like we can have hope and tops just like so close to the CAN. He's so close to it in his snoop, just a little print screen now, for we can always just a little bepper. That came out there anyway. That's enough webcam humor. We did enough of that earlier. WHAT'S AFTER MY LA? So, like, I think chilling out is a very good thing. What's the best chill out is? I love the tube. Okay, okay, unfortunately, actually this desper games and have an ear. That category is Tom Yeah, Hey, any sort of yeah, this is actually a creaking for everybody's relaxation. For the ind I'll need to fire upspreadshee if I've got a track in three individual dreams. So, okay, scratch off a video. No, no, no, actually, it's gonna be in there. Just enough for you around. Yeah, could I have a good time, but can I only have a bond? HMM, now on a third and forty three PERSO. Otherwise one of us we twelve point. I love mathematics. I love getting mathematics. fucking loser, what a sentence that was. I love mathematics. I'd like my third to be one half fortnight and one quarter and spider man three, other quarter, three AL actually race actions. Is anyone writing this down so we can work out what kind of hideous Amalgam's going to crawl out of the CESS? But absolutely not in seven minutes. Will just try to remember as much as we can. Okay, perfect. I Love Ultra wide monitors. I like wait, are we still doing chilling, because if we're chilling, I'd only like a good proper coffee, a good proper puffee. Yeah, I put that in. Yes, but three of them, okay, to enjoy. We all like. We three proper coffee. So hyped up right now on our coffee, ready for my day. Delicious, but also just a little bit stone it just it's me most, only thirty three percent stoned. He's had three coffees and a joint. About an Arrego. He's far either out of the three of us, one of us is totally baked, or each of us is a little little bit, just me being obliterated, or the three of us just kind of giggling. Usually get you being obliterated. I'm capable of giggling without the devil's lettuce. I am. It's easy to laugh at your jokes, you know, okay, horrible, pretty and I like making jokes about actually being ferociously old. I like receiving them. Is that works? I like it when actually remembers to put his benches in its. Yeah, it's important. I do that. Actually, have you ever seen a training a Sunday rose about one? Be there for like four hours? It just me just licking a roast lamb to death. I like it when Tom cuts my food up for thanks. How many times, this freak, have you pissed yourself? Press Myself? Okay, so right, it is only Thursday. Let's stilt...

FRY. Oh you're yeah, you forgot what day it was. Good, that's not useful. Members Society. To check his pilled I'm not taking this is about the act. I come back for it. I'd be a sexy old person, I think. I don't think your hairline meet me or Alex? Was? Alex has got really thick hair, but lush's handsome as got a lovely hairline. Yeah, it's gonna say Alice is. I was. It's definitely me, but yeah, I was bringing attention to your how one of the things you really like, tom is Ashley's hair loves it. No, I just I dis I have loved same first in this best thing that we're created as just needs a new hairline. That's fine. How transport for Ashley. Write it Downkay, we're all winners. They're actually gets a hurdy'd get you. I can finally fix it. I need some longer teas. Will find you. The cheek is that we will fight out. As will find you the cheapest ticket to Turkey for your hair transplant, and Alex will get you on the cheapest train to the Netherlands for some videos. No not. I don't want for me as a to thixt, I don't want any longer teeth. Get rid of these ones. Yeah, Van, grab them s grab these ones entirely. Just get me some long, good tea, a whole new, said longer one. I can buy my places. I want to be able to eat things from farther away. Half Alex, Half Horse, Oh man, Alex. else do we like? What else is there? I love a good snack, pot pies or port plies, a favorite delicious tree porch. The porched pies lovely. Yes, we used to get put up a love of pot mother like tubs of pork plies you can get from test scots for like a party from TESSICA's house, so you can get a party selection pork pies. When I would have chores to do around the house, I would do one and I will treat myself to a little pot pie. It's as a reward for a jump. Well, but well done, alley did a wash it up tough for pork pie treats. that. That's how I get a drink, just with other stuff I like. Yeah, I just got to get to work and then I can have a little pot pie. Well done. Just gotta go and do it. Just got to go into an a hour shift and then I can pop. It's point. She can do better than that. I've just got to make it to the first break. I've got get to ten o'clock or bite time now, because then I'd had the pot which I have no motivation left. or You look like me. Multiple Porch Pies with you? Yeah, then I don't like Ali. Let me that's how you rapidly increase your width and girth. Little. Does it fix her line? Also, Trey, no it it will make it worse. I don't don't get me wrong. If you eat, for if you eat pork pies anytime you achieve anything, people are going to be looking at your hairline. Never look at all your achieved waistline. Called these tokens of a job. Will done this to be in my mountain of pork pie casings. I really like an IPA. Tom When you came to my house, you left an IPA and yesterday I was enjoying I was doing enjoined some overtime, working from home, and I was like he's gonna know, it's gonna enough. I just tuck into it. Well, it Tommy's left over IPAs did. It tastes like licorice and said tasted like sweat. It's it's like bad tom they make good ones. You can just enjoy those instead. IPA is good one. IPA is nice and changed you. We will extract the Lincoln Shere Eye Alice. Yet. Okay, he's in there somewhere. Checking boy can leave the Lincoln share, but the Lincolnshire can't leave the boy. We're just going to get your tucket into Nuki Brown's and nothing else. Even know what one of those is. Yes, Tom with regards to port pies, though, I feel like there's definitely a ratio of pastry to Jelly's. Gotta get fun. If there's too much jelly. I don't have I don't have a great time with this. Too Much Jelly, happily, the Jelly at your duality of man is alex liking too much jellys. This is what common is. I can tell you that. Much what where you get extra jelly and we don't know? It's no, it's where you get jelly and you don't want it, so I have it for you instead. It's not I'm not taking anything. She'll give it. This is park pop pie, communism. Welcome to my news. Sound like it does? Sound like it look good in the front of a book. Sounds like we're in pot by SS, like we're in Indie band. Poor like Communism and their first you gotta go. First track. Not Too much jelly with their with their jlo cover of I don't think you're ready for this jelly. Second Track, fortnight, Pizza Pie, MMM, track three, without a second track, track for or pork. No Pie side be the Melton...

Mowbray, the MELMOBI Times B side in the mountain Mbury. Addition, perfect. It's a google what that meant, because I didn't know what be still old enough Tom do what bes ns well, yes, I know what it means. When I never experienced like case I'm not old as fucked about your fucking hipster. You were there when they were invented, Ashley was. Yeah, it was great. It was just me and Yogolono holding hands. WHO. Yeah, well, who the fuck is that? So we know about Casey, Nice that, but not yokoone. Yes, I thought that. This is seriously, like, I'm not that old, I'm sure. My Great Mate Casey, who rides his boosted board around the streets of America. Yes, I know him, and not the collection Donkhaba, the great brand of tires that you meant. Yeah, yeah, I'd I don't know it. Who is that? Yeah, Coron know, she was good friends with with John, our friend John the Beatles. Why, now she's more than that, and she also can't sing. And it's nice, I feel like. What was the reference? Me and Tom are young, twenty three and twenty four year olds. Were Down with the kids hip and fresh to the frigging cores. With your effect, we play for Varie. Old Twenty eight year old who enjoys finals, long walks on the beach and bicycles. There's nothing. Well, those are all good while show Ashley anything from the S and he comes, but it just comes out as that's not true. If this and if you show me milkshakes and races and I don't get any action, I was born in the wrong time period. I was born in the S. your girl rushing, good valley girl voices and the list. Whatever monster comes out of this amalgamation of good things, Valley girl voice will be as accent. Absolutely so what I like got we've got a valley girl servant, a valley girl accents, and don't just a valley a girl of the valleys, but not whales, unless in the valley it's gonna be good, Joel, but an accent. Very briefly, in the values with the cows and I check out. When we used to do dnd, I used to try and do so many accents but they would all just go through. Every accent that is in my repertoire. I go from Australian to run you'd always end up in Russian. That's the weird thing. All roads leads to Russian. Ashley, do your best, do your best voice. Now do your best impression my best impression. Just yeah, do your best impression of your best voice. Now, boy, if only there were some where you would hide. That's really good, Mickey Mouse, and it was impressive. Alex Mouse. Okay, Alex, have you got one who serve? Hello, everybody, is me, Harry Potter, a Vodicata for it. Oh my God, can I get I was actually I hope. I was hoping you're actually going to do it real it was like he was in the road, a different one. I can I take requests. Who would you like? Oh, I know, I pho skyler. It's me, Walter White, and I am the danger. Okay, I'll do my good one now. All right, yeah, that's it. Is that scooby, Scooby Doo, be scoop, hello, Scooba do, but it is me, your friend Shaggy. That's it's good one. His first name really is scuba, though, isn't it? That's not good do, but that's his name. Why, I school. Let's get out of here real good. Right, I am just gonna cut in because I'm editing. I am just going to cut an impressions of everyone. You spoke of perfect danger, Sky Laskylar is me and I'm I'm it. So what we've got? As we've got valet girl, providing you a port pie every time you do a good deed. She's playing a fortnight. What a good time for her pop pie for a good no scope. What else was on there? Maybe you're Russian, a sweat Russian. A sweat beer is there too. You can have that delicious in the center of the Pizza. Some herbs, but not lots enough coffee to break to fuel a mood mission. Yes, congratulate that to us. fucking sit down. Who knew it was hard to stand up for a full hour? I couldn't do it. How could you do it? I sat down for the last ten I'm sitting now, and I know they rather much like a pork pie others. Fucker pote myself to a Chinese. So that's all I had to say about that. I am going to have a cheesy tune of pass to be nice, Tommy Ashley, What Are you? I'm going...

...to have a coffee and then some of the cinnamon rolls I made yesterday. How were they? How do they come out? He Dinner? They came out delicious and I will make you boys some when you can visit next as soon as I'm out of fucking crow territory. Hmm I'll make you both some delicious snacks and you can come over and we can have a snack of listeners. Drop us a message on the instagram or you face whatever. Drop Ashley at text. I put his number in the description. Now just drop, just drop a message. And so let's know if you'd like it, cinnamon thing, whatever it'll make you put it in an unblow fucking number on names to it and see if people that know me don't fuck with just post it to here. But it and envelope. Let's stump on it. You can have it swish. Actually this that wouldn't be the first time you would have given my number, which remember when I got a phone call before recording from a fucking stranger saying now's the time to put your time around and make sure you sat down and ready to record. And it was your brother. It was Um to remember that. Hmm, I do remember. And that friend one of the shows, US friend of the show, just such in Joss. That was one of the personal lots name. We got a lot of the ladders of his name in it. Just now when we said Jos's just joth's just joff's, joth's Hutchins, that was one of the better practical jokes I've ever been a victim of and I really enjoyed it. Good tell that's okay. Well, to anybody that actually listens like this far into the episode, if you liked it, just like send it to somebody. Or you don't do that, just go on to apple podcasts. Maybe just chuck us a review that we really kind. You have an IPHONE, apple podcast should be preinstalled. Being just go on there. She leave us a quick view. That'll be really, really helpful. Absolutely, and if you do that, Ashley, I will read you cinnamon roll, give you a Cinnama, will give you cinnamon roll, read it. I'll give you an arched pie, I'll give you a portrait pie, a cinnamon roll and I'll read your review and I'll mock the name you put on your account and twenty five cowls and I'll give you a chest hand job behind the bus shelter and we can go on for all night together and I'll give you a free choked joke and you won't have to listen to the podcast again. You'll have done it. You've got say your contractual obligation to filled. You don't have to do it anyway, listen. You can take the air pods out and get on with your life, or the sums and galaxy buds pro but the right ones. And you left ear upside and you can take that out. You can. UN could do that. Folk sick in mouth. I've been your host Tom Hutchinson. Bye Bye. I've been your host Alex Springthorpe. Bye. I've also been your host Ashley. See you all next week. Got So the boys, like we normally. We got to full work, consistency state sake. Yeah, Tom could go. Bye Bye. It's all. It's all. It's always your kit, it's always your que after Alex says it's see you next week's actually see you all next week. Bye Bye. It's like that. Is there a delay? Is it? Is it? Is it that you get scared to say it just in Timid Ash, isn't it? You want to do one more? Yeah, see you all next week. Bye, bye. Better. It's better. I did it that time. Yeah, bye.

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