The 33% Majority
The 33% Majority

Episode 3 · 1 year ago

Ep. 3 - Gators, Good Service and Gallantry

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

This is the 3rd episode of The 33% Majority.

As usual, your support for this dumb show has been insane, and we appreciate every single one of you!

In this week’s episode, your three friendly neighbourhood dopes (Tom, Ash and Alex) will each spend their 15 minutes of fame discussing the finer details of a Disney World trip, the kindest humans in the service industry, and the responsibility that comes with great power/piss (respectively).

There might even be another instalment of ‘Tommy’s Game Time’.

Oh look, this guy's obviously as mattic. It's got my tailor in it. Hello, and welcome to the thirty three percent majority. Well, you'll find three friends, each fighting for their fifteen minutes of fame. I'm your host, Alex Springthorpe. I think you're fine. That's where you're wrong. Are But your host, Ashley Whole? No, guys, that's where you're wrong. I'm the real host, Tom Hutchinson, and I think today I'm going to take over first, and Tommy startings off. It's tarder. It's hard to not respect it straight in there and I was torn on my segment for today. My first idea was that I was going to talk about two absolute meat heads that are the Paul brothers, but then I realized I didn't really want to give them fifteen extra minutes of fame. Yeah, fair. So instead, yeah, there's boys. Are we talking about? The the Youtube man? Controversial at that. They are clearly very athletic individuals. Let's not get onto this topic, because you may save that another okay, yes, okay, I think I think athletes is a stretch, though, however, and what I wanted to talk about was my partner and I have decided that we are going to begin saving to take a trip to the big Floridian House of the mouse. We're going to go to Disney world in two thousand and twenty two, or two thousand and twenty three? Who? Who? Oh, Oh, brilliant. When is your sixth birthday? You won't need a passport because they already own everywhere. So you'll just be able to go there because they'll just over every all you. So I'll use my Disney passport to get to Disney world. But Alex, in answer to your question, yes, maybe, I don't know. Easy have to be his Disney. Disney place is that for grownups? Are Your needs going to be caked to Tommy? Well, many roller coastersn't fast ride, so I would say yes, so fast, hoping for yes, more world and a few slow ones, yes, and dark ones. But specifically I just wanted both of your help to plan my trip, because it's an expensive and daunting task. When I when I went before, I was like thirteen and I didn't have to worry about any of it. But now I'm worrying about I have a dog that I'm going to have to deal with, like do I take him take when the dog to Disneyland? That seems chaotic. How is goofy going to react to seeing another dog that isn't like walking about in a shirt? Do I have to scooby do it and dress him up like my grandma to get him on the plane, or is there an I don't know how, or is that really offensive again to goofy because you're dressing up your dog like he's got some doofy must get it weird right, because Pluto is a dog that is kept as a dog, but goofy is a dog that's like se sentient. My concern is is either goofy is the anomaly and thus like a weirdly sentient dog, or or Pluto is in like a bdso relationship where he just gets to cosplay as a creature all day long. Yeah, Plato just fucking loves it. You know, when you throw a ball for him, they have to edit out the year, the crutch. Is it a really dark scenario, though? We're Pluto's actually sort of only or yeah, maybe he's like awful, he doesn't have their you know, the mentre wilty. Yeah, fuck, this is dark. Yeah, I don't like that. Daddy, goofy may I, May I go shit in the garden, please, Daddy Goofy, can please, Goofy, I must share the stay, Daddy Goofy, I'm the CO on the carpet. Woo, daddy goofy. This that bad asmr. This is yeah, what I I did. Rug pisses, I'm you're not getting into Disneyland. They're gonna scan your face with those scanners they've clearly got hidden at the door and they give me like Oh, it's this guy talking shit about goofy and play. Three percent of this man is a risk. Yeah, I'm just gonna have a band just blacklisted straight...

...away. But yet, how do I plan this? I think we need to assume some rolls here, because there are are there are always two elements when it comes to holiday planning. In my experience, you need somebody to be in charge of the practical side of things, a role I am more than happy taking on, and you need somebody in charge of events and funds. He's which actually, I think, if you're happy to to take the reins on that side of things, I'm the king of Fun, self proclaimed in terms of practicalities. Tommy, how long are we away for? So we're going for two weeks, but I do believe the first thing we have to cover is genuinely the dog. What am I doing with the dog? I have a dog. He's a dependent. Well, where are you going to be? Are you going to be closer to us at that point or still where? You are not disclosing location? Of course, still in that big smokestack. Okay, that's fine. You could like, depending on when you're thinking of going. Obviously let me know. Listeners are pod and actually live near to each other, and Tommy lives further away. That's very true. Doing you can feel it, this this divide, you know, between US country boys and the sea slicker, Big City fliquets on me. H. Yeah, big, big, big city boy. He's not from the hills. It's big city boy Tom. Yeah, he doesn't have a car. He uses the chat's your MMA name, Big City tongue. What's it like riding in those big fancy Uber's? I'd not to be fair. No, I don't you. I don't Uber. It is just the underground trains, the underground ones, the under city trains, that I use exclusively. I like and I only trust miners underground and I don't don't put any of that train like near me. It's coal mines and nothing else. I have escerns about the dog, your good friend, Mr Dogman, Joseph. Yes, two weeks. While I I would be quite happy looking after the dog love, you know, I'll get all of the all of the good dog snacks, I will be a cat. That's the perfect dog sname and I think, I think, actually, you've just hit the nail on the hecks. I was about to come to you for events, but I think you've just nailed it, haven't you? Two weeks chasing a cat. Oh, Joseph, would also, if you did decide to take the dog. You could, really you could. I'm not going to I'm not going to swear, but you could really mess with Giofy Pooto. Take your dog, put on a lead but but also put a tie on it so they don't know whether or not to speak to it. You know, they're like torn, like did Ay pat him is at a handshake. Yeah, I've seen lots of like Disney adults and Disney mums that actually do that and like introduce their dogs to goofy and stuff, so that's definitely they're real cool, but I better really cool and good her. Did Cassidy that video, so underneath it saying my granddaughter will love this. or Caps Audrey, did you watch this? Look at this video. My dog went to Disney world and all I got was this lousy t shirt. All I got was food poisoning and a fear of dogs. So the popmister three thousand is taking care of he's taking residence inside of my house and Springs, I think. Next. Yet next on the list needs to be a travel have you sorted your tickets yet? Have you, you know, paid extra for in flight meals? Because it's not. It's not a short trip over to Disney. Ryan Arrow charging by the breath now. So you've got me really careful. Don't take any one asthmatic. These long Aldflights, though. You're going to get free food anyway. Long, long old flights it that food is not a not a worry for me. So, but no, we haven't book and book tickets yet, but I would imagine that I'll just, you know, fucking jump on skyscanner or something and that I've it's a really good place to start, because I've heard it's a fucking long walk, I would imagine so, especially given all the the bodies of water in between here and there. Yeah, how long is the flight? Eight or nine hours, I would imagine. How are you going to keep entertained for eight or nine hours? Ashley, events, I I need some events for this man. Okay, you're going to do how tame are we thinking? Because, depending on the flight, there could be lots of kids. Now there's not a lot of kids. You're going to play bogies, but you're going to use the word explosives. Okay,...

I'm looking revival with a hint of tongue in cheek terrorism. It's a modern twist on the classic baby. But you want to try and do like a do you like a funny voice? You'll be wearing masks so they won't be able to tell who's showing it. Yeah, I like. I like where this is going. You too. You take it in turns. Start start off whispering and just see who can say explosives the loudest. Try it now, we'll do it. Will do a role play explosive. That's it. You would be in prison. Okay, so that's the in flight entertainment sorted. So just just skit. Scary bogies, Bombo, Bombo Yis is the name of my first boy, but we're a missed bombastic cover band, but all we do is talk about picking your nasal passage. Oh my God, it's that's so bad. But when you land, when you get to the airport, you could pretend like what you want to do is don't take anybody else's suitcase, but when you see them go for their suitcase at the collection bit, just step just step in before him. Do it every time it comes round and you can't grab it. I'll just to scare and give him that little I know exactly what's in this bag. It's pants, socks, t shirts, cu I look this guy's obviously that's maatic. It's got mine tailor in it to know my heart medication. This sick fuck planted his heart medication. Why is there a vibrator in here? I didn't pack that and no Tyler Ie, that one fell out of my pocket. Okay, you know from from good old blike tea to flow rider. I think we're set so far with a plan. How are you getting from the airport to Mickey's house? This is a thing. Am I stayinging on Disney property, so I'm not going to get free transport there, or do I want to rent a Stang? You're going to run. Hang on, you're going to rent an American, an American muscle car in America, in America, and I an't marry American muscle cars. Just get like a soapbox racer, straight lines, you don't need to corner. It's our house. What's firelike? Geographic? Is it lots Lord sides, just straight roads? Yet, topologically, what's Florida like? Well, is it all right, long straight roads, or is it is it set out like a boring city, like a modern series or straight lines, or is it set out in a way that is crazy? Let me give you a geographical layout of Florida. Okay, so you've got kissing me, yeah, and then the rest is just Disney. It's all Disney. Now you've got a couple of I know for a fact in flow rider there are some race tracks. So like Alex is, like I know where the race tracks are everywhere, but apart, I do, I do. I know about race tracks. I'm I'm a pretty fucking cool guy. Said, race tracks are soon to be owned by the house of Mouse, the Americans, just like circle race tracks. I don't know. I've seen NASCAR. Yes, just turn left, long straight ones or left ones. Yes, go and left. That's the way. This, this is the way. So you're going to get to Disneyland. Did you guys hear about the crocodile or the alligator in Disneyland in the ponds? That's another form of entertainment. or It's a real easy thing to pull around. Just if you see an alligator, go the other way. That's probably that's a good life lesson. Just make you turn from alligator any time. Yeah, cool. Okay, remember in America you can turn right on read. So pretty easy to evade alligator. Because also alligators won't go past a red light. They're notoriously good at following traffic laws, the opposite of the Italian road conscious gators. Okay, well, we've got okay, we've got getting to Disney down, but what about dealing is going to come? Just you up? Yeah, Nick, he's got me. You'd be horrified if you got to the fucking airport and Mickey Mouse got out of a car and was like get in. But how am I dealing with the park, though,...

...guys, that's the important part. There's lots of Ques, lots of children, lots of weird people. Like. What am I doing? I can solve one of those things straight away. I can no scope this one. Q's done stunt standing them boring, though, so boring. Just start tripping people over or play the explosives game again in so actually, can we? Can we swap roles again? I think you should be practical. I think I should be. I've got a fun planner. Alex strikes again on head. Sir. Wait, wait, wait, wait, two seconds. Okay, final saying. Yeah, I'm okay with that going. Okay, cool, thank you. Thank you, went love, ruler, for your benevolence. So you arrive, Mickey. Mickey pulls up out the front and goes. There you go, Mattie and Co at, you get go and enjoy my house. You Walk in and a Hush Shit walking towards you, trotting along. There he is. It's a Gaider. Well, luckily in the airport hit every vending machine. Get all of that beef jerky. Okay. Do they have that in vending machines in America? It's America also do, and then you just use that to beef just hanging out every window is a vending machine. Carry on, Alex, persuade the alligator to be your best, most trusted Disney friend. Right, okay, so I've got a gator. No Q's No que to take him in the park with me. You want to stay in the park late, no problem at all, Mr Alligator. He knows the shortcuts. And also, even if he doesn't, qunch, crunch, discounted where's and merchandise. Guess what, alligators there. How you're going to pay for it? The cashier's been eaten. So essentially what you're telling me is that when the Disney goon squad comes to take me down to their weird Disney basements because I've got a gator in the park, the Gaider's got my back. Essentially, isn't Disney goon squad that film about hockey? I don't really know. I was just thinking of like just loads of dudes in like sort of like swap getups that are going to sort where they're all dressing and Gif they're all wearing this keif cats and shit and they just whip at whack out like AAR Thirteen s. The only thing you need worry about is if the Disney goon squad have also got jerky. Alligators are not loyal, I'll shit. They're very fickle beasts. They are not a loyal species. It's whoever's got the meat. So now I've got to worry about losing my gay a sidekick to better Jerky, or just more jerky for that matter, because I can only carry so much any jerky. They don't care. Reptilian sidekicks feel more about quality than quantity. When it comes to me, okay, and apart from that, I think just to do roller coasters and stay hydrated. Pretty much. I'm back to I'm back to practically Ti. Just just drink lots of water, but not too much that you become like a grape base, like a great snack. Don't like dreams and you can't run because obviously, eve an alligator comes, they'll be able to hear the sloshing. I was planning on supersiding every meal, though. I'm talking big, big sort of what I've seen the size comparisons. Like us, a large for English folk is like a fucking media, like a small for America. A kids homies, kids size. Just cut down your portions like it's all gravy, it's all sugar. Actually, just let the Americans live. Guys live and let live. I can't believe it. I'm the host. I've tripped and fallen into hosthood. Dang it, fine, I am the host and I'd like to talk to you both. In fact, Disney might come into this, actually Disneyland, because I want to talk about customer service and those times in customer service where you just had a good experience. I want to good customer says, because we all know we've just customer service. I definitely have. I've worked at various famous beginning with MURF fast food places. HMM, and I want just a laptop prepare place the mers stands for something I'm sure you'll all guess. I've worked in. I've worked in a...

...call center before. Yeah, okay, yeah, I've done that too. I've picked up lots of phones, hated every second of it. I love it. Yeah, I'd see. I love customers. I love talking to people. My problem is is that the customer always knows best, which I don't think is the truth. I don't think there is, especially not in like you, especially corsetainly work, Alex, you live, you have felt this cut any call. Set of listeners here, that anyone on the phone lines as we speak. Essentially, you have this thing where people call there like Ow, I need help with something. You're like, Oh, okay, that's my job, I know how to do that, it's my like. But I know more. It's like now, because if you knew more, you wouldn't be calling. On the subject good customer service, good customer service experiences that we've all had. I'll start. I went into carp in the day. Haven't been in like two years. We lived locally to that carp a while ago, a long while ago. I went in and the lady was just like I hope again, lovely, I've not seen you a while. At you, Mrs It's been two years. Margaret full that is Margaret for the sweet national listeners. The CO OP is brief for the cooperative a small, water medium sized supermarket chain here in the United Kingdom. Other superstores are available. The group, some majority, doesn't need ors. Anyone supermarket. Multiple are available, please really. The terms can responsored by cow up Cape for listening, though. Yeah, you guys. Meal deals, those those those sweet chilly chicken Kebab's you guys doing? I'm here for it. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's an example of some excellent customer service. I in my time working at a call center. It was a electricity supplier that I worked for. I did I tend you or that. I work there for a while and so I picked up all manner of story. One time there was a chap who called up and he was he was Jimmy Big bollocks from the get go. I he knew what he was about and he was here for it. Is Electricity built. It was about twozero pounds. You called up. was like, Yep, just want to pop a little card payment on that. No dramas at all, sir. Let me take those digits. Tip, tip, tip, tip, top TAP. Oh sorry, sir, that payment's not gone through. Well, there's plenty of money in that account. Just run it again. All right, tip, tip, tip, tip, tipto tap. Now that's come back. Is declined once again. Keep trying. It's death. I'm looking at the bank now. There's definitely money in it. Okay, I'm trying it third, third time in the card will block. Yeah, that's fine, no problems at all. Just that it'll definitely go through. There's no issues here. Clip, clap, clap, and then in it, in it went. No, it's come back. And then a message came round on an email. The card payment systems are down and will show that the payment is being declined. It's not. It's being taken. Charge the two Tho pounds thrice, a total of six thousand pounds. But Hey, no problems at all. My boss's boss was authorized to just issue a refund just on the fly, straight back to the card. Wonderful. So I, well, that's good, drop my way over to Debbie's desk and say hey, Derbie, I done a what? Oh, can you? Can you do it? The fix said, no problems at all. Tip Tap, tip, tap. Oh it's declined. Oh No. So we charged the man six thousand pounds and refunded him about Eighteen Tho. Oh, fuck, ift it hard. That's a bit, but your Nice. Yeah, you didn't do great. Debbie and I were not fast friends to begin with, but by the end of that was in a real pickle. Oh, Debbie, be sweet, Deborah. HMM. Well, you see, I've you're listening. I'm here for you. Unfortunately, I don't have any like amazing, like customer service sort of stories off the top of my head from working. But I did order a order myself a Wi fi from a new flat recently and going to say all of myself a wife there and I was like, I've met your Mrs don't, don't say that. That's not couth, is it? No, and essentially I ordered it while I was still living at...

...my previous flat and I made very clear to say to the woman that I was speaking to to order the Wifi that this was for a different place and therefore I would need it delivered to the old place. So don't deliver it to the new place because I don't live there yet, but that's where I'm gonna be living, please, she said. Yet that delivered, and there the previous tenants open the envelope and then, like a magical dust all of your wi fi escaped. Oh yeah, just ran away. Yeah, God, it's so I no catch that stuff. Well, anyway, it got to the end of the call and I didn't really believe so I asked her to just confirm again. Where's IT being shipped to? She said my old flat. I said fantastic. The moment she hung up the phone I got an email confirming that, no, it would in fact be delivered to the new flat, which is what I did not want. Nobody lived there, so didn't want that. Called Them Up, I won't mention who the supplier is, and I told them it's being delivered to the wrong place. I need you to change that delivery address to my older dress where I currently live, because I don't live at the new place. And I was told that we're someone, that we available to have it. Precisely. Yeah, and you would think that wouldn't be a difficult change, given that I just placed the order like eighty seconds ago. Now, apparently that was impossible. You can't change the delivery address. No, no, no, no, and all I had to do was just see what happens. Maybe turn up on the day when it's being the live vibe it. Yeah, just see what actually ask that so you can do so. I hung up the phone. I'm very sort of not happy about it. I called up again and I basically said I've literally been a customer with you guys for literally like the last hour and I'm super not happy with my experience so far. So far, one hundred percent of my time being a customer of yours has been dissatisfactory. It's been a bad, rough one. So what can you do to make sure my wi fi box comes to the right place? And the lovely man I was speaking to said you were told correctly. Unfortunately, our systems don't let us do that. I said, seems like Pretty Shit System, if I'm honest. What can you do? Then he said, well, what I'll do, sir, is I'll just close your account right now, I'll cancel everything and we'll just set it up again. So yeah, it was a good work around in the end. The blow, David, that sorted it all out for me. It was lovely and helpful. So thanks a bad experience, it turned into a good one. Yea Hears Dave, you beautiful creature, Dave, precise they if you're listening, you're welcome. You could be a guest day. You've got phone equet. Dave, joiner, Dave, listen, if you're out there, come on, come and vibe it. You can do it. I'm listening for echoes of Dave in the background and waiting to hear the door open, golden light behind him. David, despite my experience working in customer service, I am awful at requesting it. If I call up the place, I I don't know what. Nothing like I'm so some kind of customer service requesting. Graham, you've been possessed. No, nobody exactly what gave over me. It was the spirit of Karen. There is a mobile telephone provider here in the United of Kingdoms and the service is always been awful and I don't know why I keep going back to them, but I always do, for reasons I'm unsure of. And whenever I call them up, they give me bad customer service. No matter what I'm asking for, they are unable to provide it. The soil like Mr Then, you just please? Can you just say please when you speak? No, fuck you. Hello, I'd like to be able to see my bill. You've made it so I'm unable to request paper bills. I'd love to be able to see it online through your online system, but it doesn't work. Okay, so you don't need to know how much your fucking spending man, get off the phone. Jesus. Far right good. So we've kind of delegated and my fiance has taken over all customer service requests and, Oh my God, this is a crying out to all people. You need to find in your life the other half of you that can do the...

...things. You're awful that, because since we got together, my customer service needs to requirements have been fulfilled in a way I thought impossible. Things get done in this house. Your MSS is is one of those people who that's sort of Shit. It's like she's cleared up, like I've had issues in the past. I've just spoken to and she's been like, Hey, you fucking idiot, this is how it is. Oh Shit, now you're right and that's in the problem goes and I'm like, God, you must, she must hold some kind of magical abilities. She picks up the telephone, weaves a magical enchantment over it and then that's it. The thing is done and finally our television subscription has been canceled. Thank you. She's like she's like a wise she's like she's like Gandhi, without the flippers. That like, thank not flippers. He's not a penguin. Thank you to Alex's wife and her eye and will. Hey, I want twice as fast Internet, but I want to pay you no more pounds for it. Oh, you've done it. Thank you. That's so low, so good as you literally so kind. I had an experience of the day where I feel like, because I've worked in service, if you ever worked in service, I feel like you have that kindred kind of feeling with people that are serving you in shops and they're dealing with an asshole. So I was in a diy shop local to me that begins with W and, rhymes with silk, cooes it, and I was in this is this is a while again, this is like three months ago. I was in a motorcycle helmet and like gloves jacket, like full armor, and I was on a home built motorcycle that was just a raging piece of crap but it looked pretty mean and I was sat. I was in the queue waiting to buy some some oils for some wood, and this guy came in and started screaming at the cashier. The cashier was like like a sixty two year old kind of really soft, tiny old lady, and she was just like, I don't really know, and the guy was like, Oh, you can he to get your guy to movies. Fucking van, I've almost just fucking walked into it. And I hang on, walked into it. How, how, how do you walk into a lorry like that's parked? Surely that's on you. Yeah, that stationary truck pulled out in front of me. I can't believe it. Who put that truck there? I'm seeing. But he was screaming at this little lady and I just last it. I just I just stood forward and was just like hey, man, like, that's not very fucking Punk Rock, is it? Like she she's nothing to do with her. She's not the fucking Lorien driver. Obviously she's serving people on the tell I what do you fucking wanted to do? And he's just looking at me and he's like I want to speak to your manager, and I just went, oh no, I don't fucking work here, Dude. Then good old dear dread stripped off her will coast fleece and underneath revealed her white vest, pulled on her truck on cap and out came the Daff keys and she was the truck. Oh Shit, she just does. She did parking prank. It's an m no shamail on movie sham. I she amlan. I think it's m night Shamlan. But there's a wire in there, isn't it? I hope you confidently look like a full m night. Shama, m night, Shamlan'm not Shamai a lion or anything like that. Everybody, please get in touch with us at the thirty three percent majority and tell Tom he's a dumb pizza shit. And it's Shumani. I'm there pronounced the wise. You First, I'm the right. I feel like that's sort aggressive thing to say to I know I is that the truth? Okay, I'm the host time and I'll be deciding what's right. It's Shamalal all alarm. It's a wonderful name and I prove it. Rich and wondrous history, I'll have you know, a long history to the the Shamalalan Lan people. This is. That's tricky, you know. I feel bad, MR M Knight, Shou, I am going to say it Shamlan. I shall she. That's it. How it is, Chablin, you make some really nun movies, but it sounds delicious. God, I want to eat a shower. If the director is listening, what we want is to have you as a guest and also to eat you, and I bring your favorite snack, and also interview. Yeah, be well washed and make sure to bring your favorite garnishings. HMM, and you can choose...

...before we do first interview or snack on you. Snack on you sounds like a to prize kind of board game. That's a spin off series. I think I would listen to interview or snack on you, where you either have a talk with them or you drop them an island full of cannibals. Cool. Yeah, we've got we've got the impetus for a new game show. The thirty three percent majority brings you interview or snack on you. Cool. I like it and it's just what it is. Is it's just bad customer service people that we just drop on an island and they get snacked on by big sharks and cannibals. Love and if they're in fact, if they're good customer service people like I mate David, they can be interviewed, but if they're not, we dropped them on an island with cannibals. I used to work with a guy who's customer service was so was so bad that are talking. Having a conversation with him as a mate was great because he was very clever and new loads about like computers and shit. But then he talked to customers and they just hate him, like they just be like this guy's an Asshole, the computer expert technoh is isn't hasn't got great social skills. What do you mean? I know and the management is still at pop off. Am like, Oh, Hey, man, you need to sort your people skills out of like no, just fucking put him at the back of the shop, like he doesn't want to speak to the people, they don't want to speak to him. Keep him away, he get him away. Give the man and motherboard and some Goddamn Room. Literally, just give him the keyboard and lead him to it. Margaret Swimming for a password change, and he'd make a feel like a moron. He'd be like row, it's very, very easy, Margaret. It sort of reminds me of that movie her where that Guy Falls in love with a computer. It's like, definitely not him on customer service at all, absolutely not. No customer service for that guy. But actually, with that, I am sick and I am tired of listening to your segment, your Yucky, gross segment, and Tommy, I say, I sat idly buy and bit my tongue as you chittered and chatted about Disney world, but now the time is nigh for my segment. Our God. Okay, whatever, go for it. I really thought you were going to say and I spit on your segment arm and like as Devers. It's like we're really waiting for the like the vitriol as the first host. Yes, Alex, I give you permission to now host. Go for it now. There's not how this go? Tom, don't stop talking, Tom, no one can hear you. I've muted your track. Tom, I'm the host in the coasting Tom, tom my entire pime. I'm gonna Fight God and no one can stop me. It's going to fight God and he's in a win. And that does bring me quite happily into my next segment. So we have established so far on this podcast. I don't know about movies. I've watched iron man, though. Iron Man I like. Okay, he's a good mate of mania, that that Tony Stark. He knocks about. You knows about things and stuff. He's not exactly a superhero because his superhero, the superpower, is wealth. But I was hoping, because the two of you are well versed in cinema and thank you. Have Played Video Games, and you guys know about super powers and I want to try and figure out what superpower is best for me, what's going to suit my needs and requirements best of them all, as I've just had an idea off the top of my head, so that you've got one, or you want me to take this? You saw you baby boy. All Right, okay, and take me away. Actually, you like motorcy clays? Yes, yes, I do, the half car, yet, the lesser known half car. And yes, you you like playing about with motorcycles. I do. I'm partial to a span or two. Yeah, he's known to wrestle a motorcycle, you know, with it. So what about if you're super power was that you could be a motorcycle, do you? Did he get like a fake rider, or is it just like people are going to see a like a Alex, if you would be the bike that you currently owned, that would be yeah, as a key bound it. That's just the Underwell, can turned into this. Is You dirty criminal, for I'm an affordable and cheap commuter motorcycle. Stop you and be fuel efficient. I...

...will stop you and be relatively heavy. Well, I'm thinking sort of like if we're at the point where you can turn into a motorcycle. I think it's probably up to you which motorcy clayer is. You don't have to be a bandit if you don't want it. I think it's a I think it's a good idea. I doesn't ca any aligned with my beliefs, though. The reason why I want to be a superhero and have my superpowers, I write, really a back story first. So we have to kill someone you love. Gone, gone. Essentially, I want to be able to stop crimson their tracks. If I see a crime, a Guan, I want to be able to put an end to it at once, with haste. Do you want to funish the Naughty Boys? Get those naughty boys away from us. I am also I am strongly against all violence and confrontation. Okay, so here's here's the power. Here's what you're gonna be able to do. You're going to have the ability to fill any container or any object with liquid, any liquid. So you're gonna be able to point at somebody and be like are you can't do a crime, you need a piss and then just got no beer in my cup, I've got no whiskey. Points at your Little Cup and it's filled a whiskey are. He's doing a really bad crime. Point it is headed. Just fill it with water and all of a suddenly, how can he do a crime? He's drowning. That's that one's that one is a crime. I'm not allowed to do that one where a murder happens, but I like. I like the piss one. Yeah, just feel that batter up. Hey, Ashley, good pace idea you had. Thank you. And then you can piss whenever you wanted to. You could piss on command. How cools that? Oh, you'll be. You'd a mystery. Yeah, if you ever got like medically, you got arrested, they wouldut do a medical was only you just piss forever the like. I need to do a Piss test. I will forever. Okay, in I will. It's want. I can do literally infinite Piss. It only comes in lie to increments. They I'm afraid. My next quandary would be, of course, the naming. Piss man. Got It, piss man, Piss Masterman, piss man, piss man, he's a bore to fill her up. The piss boy, got it, piss man. Toom this this, if you listen to this, you can hear the sound of someone clapping and then people going piss point. It sounds like we're watching really good, like gay degradation porn piece. Now's hoping for some now wanted something a bit more frightening, like Superman. Like yeah, yess man, you hit piss boy. We know what I'm about. You know it's you know it's about Piss. We we do about the feller upper. And your catchphrase is like a like Aka early s gas attendant going fuller up, and your outfit is like a pair of yellow shorts and nothing else. So you know. You too, you're my best friends in that in the whole wide world. I trust you more than anything. You've watched movies that couple. That would be good, right, that that would be nice. Watched piss boy all day long. Yeah, I could see seth Rogan playing piss boy, but so you'd like not an actual, like good superhero. I've been told that I look like a homeless Seth Rogan. Is that not good? Well, I'm spoken to beautiful when he's very funny. Yeah, but I just can't see him playing a very serious superhies a can. He's a comedy man and I can't see him playing like you know, a dark and Gritty Batman or anything like that. So I mean we wait, super bad to is going to come around and blow your head off where you wasn't in super bad fuck I'm thinking another guy, Jonah Hill. Yeah, you dumb idiot, America's sweetheart, Jerry Hill, American sweetheart love. Actually, now you just saying films now featuring Seth Rogan. I hope no, these these are ones I've heard of. Okay, okay. So so what's the story with Piss boy? What? What's the origin story of PISS boy? Radioactive Piss? That just honestly, this is so easy for me. Radioactive Piss. You fell in a container a radioactive Piss, nailed it and then in the future, the plot twist is that it was actually radioactive Piss from your dad.

Yeah, it was dipped dad number one. Yes, piss. It was your Dad's radioactive piss. He was storing it in a VAT for safe keeping because he wonder, he what if he runs out his powers? He needs to be able to produce that fine piss. Who Spilt it on me? No, no, said nobody. Ad Spilt on it. You fell into it. You were like sleep walking and you've after you know actually you pissed yourself in your sleep, and then your tragic backstory is you are going to put your shit in the Washer. You then like a a horrible accident with the Washer and fell into a VAT full of exotic nuclear Dad piss daddy juice. Here. Just that that VAT of Daddy Daddy Batter, daddy bad. That one's Yuck. No, actually, I don't like that. I don't know that one. Oh, a little tiny amount, I don't I don't like even the smallest amount of dadgers. No, no, Oh, okay, when Daddy Jee, Oh my God, he said Daddy Batter that that can be nothing other than dadgers. I've are not the one that's being accused here. Ash said it. Guys, we almost went. We almost went a whole show without saying come or jeers. No, we did a whole section where Pluto was a sub though. Okay, maybe, all right, we like a sandwich. Yeah, know that. They don't worry. Tom Our jis free. Episode is not yet. Okay. So who is Piss Boys? Nemesis, Shit Guy, shit man. Yeah, Shit Guy. That's that's exact, is it? Is it a play on hit man or no, actually, I really like that. So He's wearing a suit, but rather than a bald head, is the the Shit Emoji. That's ter, but with the cartoon eyes. Yeah, yeah, that's horrifying. So anyways, Shipman's back story. Yes, it man out again. He's goal is to is to shit on everyone's pillows because he wants the world to get pink I. Okay, okay, he's the owner of the leading pharmaceutical company that manufactures pink eye creeps and salves. Yes, yes, course, and watch that. That makes perfect sense, right, I've got the he's another crease to that story. Less weave it further. Yes, the reason why rink hates yeah, and a season mark to this is the story. The reason why, the reason why he hates piss boy is because the original piss man was the one that gave shit man his powers, and shit man, outrageous doesn't like his powers. So there you got to leave that twist. Somebody call him nights Shamat Shum Shum, million chimillionaire. Somebody call all rapping. He's said he was writing day shad is right. Ship Man, ship captain, Captain, ship boy is is the nemesis and he's Riding Day timillionaire. I was trying to do a parody of the song, but it wasn't in there wasn't in my head. Look at him, he's riding day. He wants to roll with the gangsters, I think, trolling in, trying to make your not doing the dirty. Or is that am I thinking of? With our Yang, with our Yankovic? The cover that he did is called white and nearly throwback. Yeah, what a fucking retro weird all. If you're out there, you sweet baby boy, you come talk to me. I love you. I thought I was the heir. I was just waiting for you to invite him on the podcast, because everybody's been invited on the podcast so far. Oh No, piss boy is not coming on the PODCAST. Pissed Shit, shit man certainly not welcome. Shit Mad's pay for an advertising segment. His boys already. The host, Alex, your piss boy. Sorry, the facts machines just gone off. I've just got a facts come through. Let me let me read it for you. Oh No, it's piss man. Dear the thirty three percent majority. Here enclosed you will find a check for one Tho Shit Bucks. I don't know what the exchange please endorse my new my newest pharmaceutical product, pink I repellent. Kind...

...regard. Shit man got we we've got to endorse shit shit man's newest farm suitable product for pink I. We got we got offers. YEA, yeah, I don't know what cream does. Any shiplock is worth as much as a v Buck shortly, but between two pounds and seven pounds fifty. But you can only get it in twenty ps so you can use it at public bathrooms. So with that, this segment sponsored by Shitman's pharmacytical incorporated. We're only the highest quality creams and salves are available to solve your pink eye needs. Now with less shit. Ten percent. Now that's ten every two. We put the names of a shit donation, donators, and you just like have one. It's got picture of your face on it. It just says from annex, you know, like when you get stuff from lush. It has a like a stick over the photo of the person that made it. This Shit Street just that. Made in partnership with James, made made from Vegan Shit. It's better for you, less it's not got any beef. You know. It's fully organic, Keto friendly, high and fiber. And to wrap off the advertising segment. If you've got pink eye, let's say bye bye. Is that any card? Yeah, yeah, that was perfect. Well, don't I think that pretty much rounds off. As host, I think that kind of I like the legs have been ran on my segment. Good work. How far can you really take pissman and shit boy? That's the real question. Well, I mean someone's going to make fun. I hope. I Love I would love it, Tommy, if you got any games for us, I can, I can, I can do and game if you'd like an game. Yeah, did that. You could Russell US one up. Yeah. Do we want a what the frictionary or yes, I think so. Yeah, okay, okay, let me just fire up the frictionator. The first one that I've got here is, Yep, tooth sweater, tooth like teeth, tooth sweater own what like jumpers for you takes? Maybe, I don't know. Or is it a jumper of teeth? Oh, I don't like that. Or I don't like that and I like that at all. Is it somebody who sweats teeth? I fucking hope not. That sounds like you at your body. Let's get a bit warm and all of a sudden you're a dentist fantasy. The idea of a jumper made of teeth is making me feel very not okay, I think that's the one. It's got to be, though. Personally, it's like a jumper made of tea. I want to place an educated bet the lot, something to do with body hair. Should we find out. I'm going hard in on jumper made of teeth. Okay, all right, I'm going with an at sure human being that sweats out tooths. All of this is not good. So a tooth sweater is when you go for a day or so without brushing your teeth and the texture in your mouth feels like your teeth are wearing fuzzy little sweaters. That's mile. Guys. All brush brush your teeth. Yeah, it's not the best it can if you get the chance. Any dentistis. I've just had a really great time and then I really Yucky time. They're like, Oh my God, a sweater made of teeth, I'd love that and a all of a sudden it's fucking it's fuzzy teeth, not flossy. Thanks, grandma. You shouldn't have all viewers, please be aware that the thirty three percent majority does endorse good mouth hygiene. Unless you want that sweet, sweet tooth sweater. Do we want another one just before we close off? Yes, one more, Heasi, one more. How about...

...all? This? One's interesting. HMM. The phrase is cock blocked by Steve Jobs. That one real easy. That is when your iphone at about two o'clock in the afternoon dies and you would have it a lovely chat with a new fling and Oh no, I've been caught blocked by Steve Jobs. My iphones died. Okay, I can't believe that. Outrageous. I think this is my educated guess. It's when your phone goes off are whilst to trying to get funky with the girl or the man that's in your house with you, and then you get a phone call. When you have to go and get that phone call, you get, like Steve Job, blocked. But that one doesn't bag on apple in the way I mind did. So I'm just wondering whether or not it's to do with the fact that the person that you're interested in has an iphone and will only exclusively talk to U Va eye message and your lack of eye device and inability to hurt. Yeah, you have to have that blue bubble, don't you? When your talk is that greenable. Looks like Shit, that one. It's what happens when you too text me and it goes green. It's like when you call somebody a no offense, but it has like TESCO mobile, like Oh shit and mind. Well, great. Yeah, DEF fucking Gift Gaff Give Catnie listening. I'd'T G by money. Right, let's find out that Reed. So, okay, the act or reactive measure when the opposite sex makes eye contact with you and then proceeds to plug in their ipod as a defense mechanism to prevent you from making a move on them, essentially using their apple device to not have to talk to you. Yeah, I feel that that's sad. Okay, yeah, I I was on a bus once when I was like nineteen and there was a scale set across me on the bus and we I was saying, like the disabled seats because it was full, and she sat across me, looked at me and then kind of looks at a phone and then where and morning have you been? And I when Oh, yeah, morning, yeah, really good, thanks, and then she just like listed her hair and shed are puds in no, and I wanted to fucking whe good grief, it wasn't even it wasn't even like air pods. It was like a Bluetooth headset underneath a hair but she went good morning, how are you? And I was just like that's some poder. Yeah, that is back in day, having a Bluetooth headset just fucking gobbed all over me. Me, I was I wanted to die. That's a look over the rest of the journey as well. So, twitternute, do you want to do an outro for what the frictionary? Okay, I've got one. I've got one, and you've been listening to what the Frick Channary? Okay, you've got anything that might sound better for people listening to a podcast, because that wasn't that wasn't good. Now wasn't good. Right, and they get your face on into that MICO, but go further away. It shall yeah, that works. And you've been listening to what the fridge you ay, no for now. If you could do it whilst you're running past the microphone. Yeah, run like I want it to be like you're like, we're just driven past you as you're doing it. Okay, got it that okay? Okay, I've got it and you've been listening to what the frictionary? All right, now, unplug your microphone and do it perfect. Yeah, do that right. Thanks everybody so much for listening. My Name's been Alex and I've been your host. My name's been ash and I've also been your host, Sinton host. He did it. Thanks everyone for listening. By thanks, guys. Bye Bye.

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