The 33% Majority
The 33% Majority

Episode 1 · 1 year ago

Ep. 1 - Pilot - Honies, Homes and Hunkering Down

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Welcome to the pilot episode of The 33% Majority.

In this monumental, landmark piece of radio, your three best friends (Alex, Ash and Tom) will each spend their 15 minutes of fame discussing automobile procurement, the flaws in the housing market, and how to survive a zombie apocalypse (respectively).

You can even be poor if that's what you want to do. Hey, and welcome to what will be the pilot episode of the thirty three percent majority. This is a talk show where you'll find three friends fighting for their fifteen minutes of fame. I'm your host, the real host, Tom Hutchinson. That's where you're wrong. I'm the host, Ashley Hall. No, I'm the host, Alex Springthel so. This show was born from the three of us wanting to do a podcast together and having just no idea what to do. I propoed to that. We decided would each host our own little segment where we each get our own fifteen minutes of fame to bring whatever we want to the table. Now, guys, what I'd like to start off with is I'm in a bit of a pickle and I need some advice, as you're something of a mechanical engineering whiz. What you don't know about mechanics and engineering just simply isn't worth knowing. Absolutely truly, that is the case, and Tom I've seen you. I've seen you do it. You were sat there, cool as a cucumber, driving about in a car, and I think that makes the two of you the perfect people to help me choose my first car. Where else? Star, if you thought about motorcycles? What? No, but have you tried motorcycles before? Have you actually tried ridding motorcycle? Which one's a motorcycle? Two wheel, two hour, with two wheels. It's the half car, the lesser known fully over car. Hm, yes, I am. I'm quite the accomplished fully over car operator. Okay, so you want four wheels. Now you've done two and you want to graduate. For the stopping at traffic lights is difficult because of the falling over. The torrential downpour that gets inside of all of my clothing and orifics is too much for me now. My bones are old, I am frail and I'm frightened to falling off and doing murder to myself. So yeah, more wheels, more windscreens, better comforts, please. We as far as I was aware, though, like after you'd done two wheels, you had to go to two, three, and so have you thought about like sort of somewhere in between? I swear there is a threewheeled car. It was on a really famous you could have a reliant robin. Yeah, Rely Robin. Yeah, thank plastic. Maybe get rolling you can park it in the same place that you park a motorcycle. Right here is a fun fact. The reliant robin was initially designed for motorcycle riding miners to get to work every day, and you only needed a motorcycle license to operate. Well, you go, there, you go. So put apply anymore, though. So, okay, doesn't it well, less and less calms the UK. Thanks, Margaret. MMM God, what a horrible moment. See Ashley, you you are a motorcycle boy and you're in a very similar position to me when we are both just waiting for our driving tests. Thanks, prowner, thanks, thanks, Rona. Tom You've been a graduate of getting about with many wheels for several years now. What's important when it comes to buying a car? Okay, miles is better, obviously, because it's more trustworthy. Yeah, yeah, I'd if I'm totally honest with you, I think the most important aspect of buying a car is making sure that you can plug your phone into it to play. You, Junes, that's true. Yeah, I still listening. So, okay, like BBC radio, for where they do a play and it's just then doing the voices and then some guy with some coconuts, doing horse noises in the background, which is a job I've applied for four times, and each time, hence you decided to go sound podcasts. Yeah, hang on a second, there, on to us. Nay. So, yeah, I think the like. Don't ever fit one after market because they suck and heal. Fard's will do their best, but if you sit with them you will probably end up doing majority of the work anyway and it will probably fall out. So, yeah, I fitted one. Is is better in every way. Also a good, good place to hang aheaf hair freshener. I'm in that, without the H S and the hate sands. The H and air freshener. Good saces sand h hair freshener. Got Y. Yeah, what else? She's just buy a van. I've got. I've just bought a vaux or combos cheap as chips. Okay, I'm going to stop you there, buddy, because a combo is just a courser that got ahead of itself. It's a camp, it's a corso with big ideas. Okay, so it's also that looked at a ladder and went yeah, I reckon, go on getting when I get to a certain amount of space in the back of that Van, which I will, because it only needs to fit me and my beloved partner into it, will be in your back garden, lowering the house values and taking all the scrap out of your house. So don't get well, it was that or dog napping, and I'm allergic. So you actually allergic to dogs? Now? I just wanted people to think that I wasn't, so that when I start dog snatching,...

...they one all suspect me. I couldn't have been. He's allergic to dogs. I held on this podcast. Here you go, dog nap, she wrote. Listeners, pretend you didn't hear that. We'll all move on from there. Yet. Studio audience, yeah, of a vote your eyes. Pretend you pretend you weren't here for that little five minute segment. Doc Map just sounds sweet and lovely. It does I'm doing tonight. I'm just have a little dog nap, you know, just a little little snoozy wooze. I'm going to find a nice little sleeps but I'm going to do some spinning round and then I'm going to get cozy and a warm space, just curl up and occasionally I'm going to far and you'll not be able to blame on me, because it's now so cliche. I might wake up intermittently and lick my balls for a while as well, but then I'll try to right back to if you could hearing it right now, just that, just get Ashley gently lapping away at his own Scrowton, just the sound of a look three thousand. I just feel like sucking your own day would feel more like sucking a Dick than having you Dick Sucked. These are some challenging concepts. That's why I feel like Chekhov said that or somebody, or like that's a literary device, shurelish. Yeah, this is, it's all a metaphor for the desperation of men. I managed to lick the tip once. Way, yeah, that, and even more to even mortalized it into podcast history. Now, well done. Well then, Alex. Yeah, yeah, I'm episode one of all things. So I think it says more about our listeners than it does us, because if they're still listen after that, Jesus. Yeah, you've really committed to commit to the licking of the balls. I feel like we've all committed to the looking the balls, but actually managing the tip is you should be. It probably easier if we all just took it in turns to lick each other's balls. That could definitely reach Ash's balls much. I'd be able to do that with more ease than my own, Alex. I just like a tiptoe. I'd just like to highlight, though, that we were talking about buying cars and we've somehow gotten on to the topic of licking each other's yeah, I'm gonna get the bus, so don't worry about cars. Yeah, I could lick ashes grow Tom Ash could lick yours and you can look mine, Tom Think of the efficiency in the time saving. Yeah, I'm not like, I'm not a hundred percent convinced. Just, yeah, take approach. Yeah, I'm like three way boy, felay show. Yeah, I get. We're onto FELA show. We're saying scrow to my it's it's the other one, isn't it? Yeah, I guess at it like I get. I get what you sort of throwing out there. I'm picking it up, but I don't know if I'm necessarily on board just yet. Maybe we could go back to the car's touch on the bull looking later. What you watch me and I shall me and I shall get the balls rolling. You can just watch well and we can all just see if it's for us. Eventually. Your feel or could watch it. You'll just have to join in. Oh God, it's like he's as que for a shop and use your t you're already committed. You can't turn around, leave the que because it's someone behind you. Now this is radio hell. This is hell for me. What about the diesel Ford Focus? Would that be good? I think you need to focus on the horses. How many horses are inside the car? That's a I think a really important thing happened. Forces has got a horse and a half in that too, on the front, three in the back. You can double it. If there's are into stack. Are you allowed to blend the horses before you put them in? I don't really know how it works. Engines have horses in them, that's all I know. So, however they get them in there, the more the better. Uh Huh, okay, yeah, I think that works as well. So so we're on too. We're onto performance. What? What? What impacts the performance? How do you get the ponies inside of the engine? Because I want lots of forced if forced induction, but with like a it's a big fucking funnel full of Hay and you just force Hay into the horse and you get more power out of its forced induction. Yeah, good idea. Let's disregard the idea of engines entirely. And I want a car that's run by a pony. How do I force hey inside of the honey, inside of the honey hat? You said, only dude. Yeah, the Horse, Pony, horse, pony is honey. Get with the program. Okay, the Horse proby only show. It's a one trick pony. So I think a series of mechanisms and levers to kind of yeah, just jump, get, just chum the hate inside of crunch that that hey, you cryne that to a big run. You could predigest it for them and then just have like it be like we are bix. You know, maybe bad box in the bowl too long. Okay, I think the idea of predigestion. predigestion is there are going to be some animal wherefore, wellfare concerns, aren't there? Most likely, yes, it's I bet they're feeding like cows other cows to make the extra beefy, squared, beef squired. What do we think? To be squared as a call the way down, you thought it was. I mean, I'm not set on the thirty three percent majority. If you want to change it to beef square, I'm I'm down beef squared. Sounds like we're just going to argue the whole time, which I don't think is accurate, because for the most part we're now agreeing that we should just be force feeling hay into horses to go faster, and no one's there's no argument against it and I think it's going to work. I mean the alternative is, instead of like that sort of increase in...

...performance, you could just what I'm trying to say. How do you motivate a horse? How are we on horses now? Don't do that. That's that's terrible. I feel bad saying that. Please don't. Please know that your horses in pain. A motto, the promise of the promise of meadows, a carrot on a stick. So maybe you just get a really good carrot on a stick. A young essentially think of the best, the tastiest carrot. You can imagine or not you taste his carrot. A horse can imagine. Horses are all. Horse is stupid or the intelligent? Somewhere in the mountain, how smart as a horse. They are the freest creature in the world and the yet they chose. They choose to be captive and take people to market, and you could run very good and very fast, but instead, no. So I think so far we've got Bluetooth radio professionally installed, hopefully factory and stalled. Yeah, many ponies, many successfully motivated ponies. whilse is important when it comes to car ownership. Actually do I need? Do I need to have material concerns? I don't want an unreliable vehicle here. Get a Morris Minor. It's got wood paneling, it's got woulden. Never nothing about quality. Like would I say, this is a man speaking to you from a desk that he made himself on a mouse map that I made out of wood, that we hang on. What I'm hearing here, Ashley, is you? And by the way, yes, of course I accept are going to build me a calf from wood. I just think it might be the way to do it. Listen, Audi at BMW, other fantastic German car makers, loop up, mate, because I'm coming in there with some sweet wood. Yeah, listen here, Bavarian Motor works, it's time for what would you call you car company? Ashley. It's good cars. It's pressure now Ashley's good cars, Ashley's good cars. Welcome, Ladies and gentlemen, to the first advertisement sector segment sponsored by Ashley's good car. Find better quality outside of a tree will be would wait. Yes, that's it. That's it, that's it. You did it. You nail that. You literally beat marketing. You want it, you want it. It's great. Somebody Call El on, tell him I'm available. People ask us all the time. Are Our cars sustainable? Yeah, they're oak, a absolutely pine. Thank you. They leaf other cars in the dust, in the SAWDUST. A welcome to the Italian branch of actually, is a good cars be? But ask me all the time. All right, they lovely cars. Well, they make me sick. Go more than the most. That's bline, an attack there. I feel. Hey, how proud you are. Did I do like I do? Lizes me and Tom just let that happen. We knew the buildup was there and we knew it was going to be shit and we just thought, you know what cool this is, which is it's like we stood there and watched a car crash. We knew it's gonna happen to nobody. Nobody put the brains on the others, all of the participants were unscathed because they were riding in style, comfort and safety. Thanks. Actually, it's good cars. We're still in the advert. We never left. It's Ashley's good cars, a car that you can rely on. Now that's just words, isn't it? That wasn't a Pun. Yeah, that was just nothing. I was going to fall into a pun, but I didn't. Some would you like to be host for a most most ass so you've you so so essentially, that is to say that for episode one, the pilot of our very important podcast, you've planned nothing. Do you remember that time? I've been on a holiday or week and been like that's my segment, let me talk to you about that. No Channel, I've been relaxing by the water. I've had no chance whatsoever to have a quick five minute think about the podcaster care about so very much, even on just the journey home. Even on the journey home, I didn't die. I couldn't possibly have dedicated any brain power over one liter loopo on the motorway. My friend, if it's only one thing I was concentrating on, and that survival. To me, picture me, if you will, knife between my teeth, hanging from the door like some kind of high seas motorway pirate, just trying to break into the truck in front of me to get some sweet, sweet space to stretch my legs and work on my thing for the podcast this week, but thinking of the motorway. See Nothing. We can help your brainstorm. What we can? Yeah, we can help you come up with your segment. Yeah, what things do I not? I like. We're going to we're going to talk about we're going to talk about me as a person and my failures. Fair. I like would,...

...but not in the way that you think I do. I like like pine. We've done words that would. We've done what old? I'm fed up. A wood is fed up. A Wood other lit all. Now Woods out, metals in, scientists May, yeah, why we got so many good materials, but we have no substitute for wood, which is the best. Yet bringing the alloys heard of metal. Can't like would. I'm cool. I mean actually, we have literally just been having a conversation about a car made of wood, and let me look outside. Oh yeah, they all made of metal. Now. Would sucks. Would sucks. That's some strong wording. What about it going round it and gone. Tell me why it's good. Tell me why it's good. Tell me what it's good because it has grain and carricter and every single tree is different, even shitty little trees like Pines. Any Pine, if you're listening to this, get fucked. You'll never be oak. All right, stop pretending. Deal with it. Well, hang on, that started off so positive. For my design. Its fast growing. WHI's a stuff. It's soft. It's useful for lots of things, don't get me wrong, but like when it comes to beautiful stuff, yeah, you got. You got to have something to throw straight into the tray, ash in its ash. Take Your Ikey of furniture and burn it. Make your furniture, homies, make your own furniture. It's amazing. It's easy. I'm we've done would. We did would in my section. I'm the wood boy now and will forever be known as the wood boy. You've lost your hobby. This is the worst thing else we know about Ashley. He's quite politically charged. Tom Are quite politically yeah, I'd a puppet someone last night for being a landlord before they rea bit. They didn't tell me right first. So we had this like long conversation me and my next raighbor's friend, who will remain nameless, but he's quite muscular, he's taller than I am and he always talks about their all the fights he's been in. He's a very scary guy, and I was saying that if your job, and landlords, if you're listening, I mean this, inbox me and tell me why I'm wrong and I'll I'll correct you some more. If your job is to own somebody else's house, something's wrong. If your existence is to own seventeen houses and you're like, Oh, I provide maintenance, sir, if they were paying the mortgage price and not the overcharged rent that most places charge, and it you'd find it, be able to afford the maintenance themselves. Look definitely so. But like, this is what I said, longs to have their own problems. Yeah, like, Oh, oh, I own someone else has, someone else someone else's house. You wouldn't have those problems if you breaking to act. Where the where am I going to put all of these keys? That's people who sell key rings. You're actually the real victim here, is the lands being sold key ring. Sorry, I can't, can't come into work today. I'm too busy controlling wealth. Yeah, yeah, guys, I've got a leak at yet. One of my tenants has got a leak in their roof. It's all right, though, because they've been paying a hundred fifty pounds more a month of the last five years. I'll pay someone two hundred quid to fix it. HMM. I am opposed to your views on this, though, and Tom you are agreeing an awful lot. I'm totally opposed to it because, like, what's like? WHO's the issue with? Because it's surely not with landlords, really with so now it's home home ownership, because like absolutely, if I work very hard and I buy many houses, I've got yeah, sure, I can provide us service that if you want to live in my house. I'm not going to charge you any deposit, though, because that's what you'd have to do to live in a rented to buy your own house, is to pay a deposit on the mortgage. I've done it for you. You just pay me an increased fee. I'll cover all of your maintenance. It's happy days. If you don't want to do it, so a right fuck off. Go live back at home. So it's some money, work harder by your own house. I think work hard, of it doesn't doesn't pay off like that, because in a lot of the situations, especially now, you know, in the last two years, nobody's going to be in a position at least. No, none of the lower class people are going to be a position where they can really get into the property ladder because obviously they've been laid off from work or they have low skilled jobs that don't pay a lot. That's that's untrue. That's untrue entirely. All three of us have been employed throughout the pandemic. We've not been a effected at all. Yeah, but we yeah, the three of us, a joke, maybe the three of yeah, we're a minority. A lot of people and a lot of people have been yet a lot less fortunate. And I've lost jobs. And I think you are right in the CENTERLEX that I can't directly blame a landlord for or not take like thatage of a good system for them, which is this is yeah, the system exists to support them. Much like with a lot of what the current government does, it helps rich people continue to be rich or get richer, and so I think my beef really is with allowing house prices to increase not in line with inflation. They've just absolutely snowballed to a price that's just unmanageable for a lot of first time buyers and which, by the way, if anybody over the age of sort of forty tells you that, you need to get onto the property ladder, because that's what they did and they made a good investment. They've just lied, because house prices were peanuts back then. But also, at the same time, it's really the fault of the government for allowing landlord's sure to set their own resdom though. That that that, yeah, if we're kind of blaming the government, that as surely it's a somewhat flawed argument on the basis that...

...that system just encourages people to strive for more. If things cost more, do right, earn more and then you can get your own version of the thing to have. But House prices have gone up? Yeah, because a supply and demand, because somebody hable to pay for the price and has got up equal to it. I mean, if you look at the cost of a loaf of bread ten years ago versus the wage ten years ago, it doesn't measure up. HMM, you don't? You don't get as much for your money, and that goes in everything in the property market and people saying, Oh, we'll just work harder. A lot of people aren't in a position to say, okay, I'm going to quit my job and get an education because I'm in a position where my rent is paid or x or whiles are I'll improve myself as a person, as and as an a potential employer and employees. Sorry, by going to this college, for instance, me, I could not afford now to take two weeks off work, much less any longer than that, to gain any qualifications, to gain more gainful employment. All I can do is put the time at my current place, which does not pay a great deal. Now, that's not for everybody and I'm very lucky in the fact that I've never been out of work for more than three weeks, ever, because I truly believe that if you are willing to work, there is work there for everybody. Definitely, the problem with landlords is not with landlords, agree. It comes from this place of while ever you own for houses and you're renting them, those are three houses besides the one that you live in that aren't going to belong to anybody but you and then when you die you leave it to your kids and they sell it, which is great as wonderful, but by that point, yes, you and yours have succeeded, but three people have not had the opportunity to buy a house. And then, as a result of that, if you times that by the amount of landlords in the country. My point is the gentleman in question essentially owns three properties. The home he lives in and then he rents out to now he's a good landlord. He's on time with his maintenance, which is brilliant, make sure that they're looked after and he doesn't fuck people around. Maybe in that in that minute, that's okay, but when you move to the scale of some people, I used to work at a notorious tech repair air place and we had a woman who had seventeen properties. Her job was to make sure that they had a running washing machine, hot water, cold water, gas, electric. Now, I'm sure that's difficult, but the money she was on is insane. Yeah, yeah, it sane. That's seventeen, sixteen houses. That just I know that you're going to say that, Oh, well, she earned her way up to that, for sure. Why? No, I'm I wanted to put a spin on it, if you'll allow me, because we are, the three of us are. We are in unique positions because ashulely, you and I rent, tom you run, but you do own a home. Yes, idayre on the ladder in some in some regard, but by the sounds of it, all of the issues come down to lack of opportunity and, as I've heard you make this point before, where landlords charging it in like a premium on top of their mortgage payment to tenants restricts tenants to save up and get that deposit for their mortgage, and so we're stuck in a the perpetual state of renting because, yes, can't hold the capital in order to get a mortgage. So how about this? What what about we, as in me, you and you, set up an organization and we help people get a house. And what we do is we will buy a block of flats or a big old house and you can come and stay in our house and you know, all of the expense, all of the expense is a split equally across many people and the conditions are somewhat rough, but everybody's in it because you know, hey, it's cheap as fucking shit chips here. Just hord money and then you can buy a house and we wouldn't profit off it. It's just that I'm going to save the world and this is how I'm going to do it. You've described you've just described communism. Yeah, it's like it would work. It sounds like it works. To keep those people in, because bloody greatly did. And have you know, they've got nothing going on but work and being at home with family or being at home with partner. So they just have five or six fucking kids because they've got no space to make stuff and learn things. There's no drill to be better, there's no it's not a purpose, it's not a permanent move. It's just that I would quite happily. I would fucking I would streamline my life now if I knew that for one year I could go with very little stuff, you know, very little room. It's just me and my fiance in a studio flat with no stuff. If I knew that within six months, a year, all of the money save that we going into a part and we could move out, I'd be happy with that. I'm just there's nothing stopping me from doing that. Right now. I'm just quite happy with my life is currently. So here's the thing I like. I see where you're coming from, but what a lot of people don't consider when they sort of describe those sort of ideas is that, despite what a lot of people might think, socializing and doing things and spending money on things that you enjoy should not be treated as something that on only people of money can do. So, for example,...

...if I'm saving for a house, that means that no, no, no, I can't, I can't go out and enjoy myself, I can't do anything, I can't treat myself to anything at all. So I'm sort of very much of the opinion that you should still be able to live your life, buy nice food, go to restaurants, but still be able to afford a house. So I see where you're coming this point. We're just talking about decisions. This isn't a structure, this isn't like a government mandated ruling, but it's the way that the wills over for our house. But like if if I suddenly decided I'm saved, I'm cram saving for a house now, guys, I can't do anything. You wouldn't go. God, you are so oppressed, you are I can't believe this is an outmost. You have a right to go out for dinner and arrestaurant and have nice things. Prioritize on my own shit. Yeah, absolutely, and that's a wonderful you're in a position where you can do that, which is wonderful. A lot of people, you know, the worst thing in the world, and this is this is rates back to what Tom was saying and how this is viewed socially and move it like staying on topic with with Land Laws and homeowning and this kind of thing, but just poverty in general and how it's treated. Whenever you see a homeless person with a fucking smartphone, somebody in your friendship group or your family or somebody that you know, more people that I know, will be like, Oh, well, they can't be that, but if they've got a phone, why do you want people to not have things to prove that they deserve your help? Yeah, just fucking help. People be only seventeen properties, Homie, I know that you're renting them out and that's what you've made your career on and that you're you're doing great and your kids are going to succeed. Seventeen houses just not on the market not available, going up in price every single year as the property Ladam fucks more and more people. And I know that you can choose to basically make yourself into a hermit and save the money and buy a house. I don't want people to have to suffer more than its which necessary. Yeah, I actually you. You know me very well and you know that I've I've been homeless and I've been borderline home as for a long period in my life, and it is never because I was not working. It's never because I was not trying. HMM, I see people might so. So there's laws in the system, assive their floors in the system, then how? How would you propose they are changed? Because I have a very easy thing. I don't think the system is flawed. If I'm honest, I think this works. If people want to decide to buy a house. It's not, you know, it's not a given. You don't have to buy a house. No one's telling you to do it. If you want to, this is what you got to do. But it's got to but it's in the language of the worlding like you will go, Oh, do you own your house? Are you just renting? The fuck do you mean by just mate? It's a perfectly legitimate choice. Are you just Realuan? Just renting? It's so insidious that people see it as lower class and there is that divide between people that know they will one day own a house and people that think I will never own a house. You See, and this is the thing though, right, so, by me saying that, you know, the idea around landlords and how it's done at the moment, is not me saying that renting shouldn't exist, because I do think that there are benefits to renting. However, it should be an intrinsic fact that renting should be cheaper than owning a house. And so, therefore, if a landlord to own your house, yes, exactly. So. Therefore, if a landlord's mortgage is five hundred pounds a month, right, I feel as though it should be illegal, wrong, im moral even to charge somebody anymore than what is what their mortgage payments are. So, therefore, landlording cannot be your only job. If you own a house and you wish to rent it out, you you can do that and you should be able to do that. But at that same time, if your mortgage payments are five hundred pounds a month. You should only be charging somebody four hundred, the large majority of it because they are living in your house, but at the same time I feel as though they should still have to have an income to cover the rest of it. You know, the statement that everybody deserves a roof over their heads shouldn't be a radical statement. Everybody should be entitled to a House, and not just people going. Oh well, but the British citizen should all be given houses. These people come in here and being given houses. Hell Yeah, my guy, hell yeah. The other people suffering are not your fucking enemy. You know, when you hear people say, oh well, I'm paying this, but they're getting it for free. Homie, question why you're paying that much and they're getting it for free. Don't question it because they're getting it. Questioned because you're not being in the same it's fucking ridiculous. It's like seeing somebody else at a restaurant eating cake, the waiter saying you can't have any cake and you going over and kicking the fuck out of the person eating cake. Homie, they've got it, you haven't. It's not because of them, it's because the fucking system. It's because of the restare somebody with seventeen cakes and you were starving and they said, Oh, you can have a cake. It cost me one pound. I would like two pound fifty for it, and I'd like you to eate it in segments, but I'll never give you the full cake. You can have a little bit as and when, Homie, just give me the fucking cake, homie. People are suffering, people are out fucking cold, and not just and I also hate the...

...fucking the thing that people do a go wow, ex soldiers, British soldiers, are fucking software mart all these immigrants. I'm living in the hours, homie. Nobody should suffer. Stop fucking making it a pain Olympics. The world's in pain. You could just be more kind. I Guess Tom The the answer to your point with not charging more than the mortgage payment, but my initial thought was, but then, what's the incentive for a landlord to do it? And I guess that is the point, isn't it? Yes, that is one hundred percent be point. Huh, it's her off towards it, everybody else's home. Yeah, I feel as though like somebody should do it if they don't need it, and then therefore, that person living there contributes towards paying off the mortgage and I believe that that should happen right, because still own the house. Yeah, exactly, so they should contribute towards it, but they should never be paying the full amount because at that point it should be just as easy for them to go and buy a house, and it's not. That's the point. It's like, why is you know, I could go and buy a house in Lincolnshire and the rent could be, you know, somewhere around six hundred. Sorry, the mortgage payments could be somewhere around six hundred or seven hundred pounds a month, but then you can pay more than that just to rent exactly the same building down the same street. That's wrong. That's wrong. You. That shouldn't be allowed. You shouldn't be able to pay off somebody's mortgage for them, because at that point you should be able to just pay off your own mortgage and your history go out of its way to to tell you, hey, you can't afford of three hundred and fifty pound a month mortgage, you can't afford it. But then I will tell them, Hey, I've been paying five hundred pound a month for the last two years on this place is rand and I've never missed a payment ever. Uh Huh. Yeah, that's a fair point. That is a very fair point exactly, and that's just that rent is beloved. The mortgage would be fucking dunked on by people. Well, I think that we've had a very good conversation there. And Alex, this is definitely not to patronize you, by the way, at all, so please don't take it that way. But I think that when when people have opposing opinions, this isn't to necessarily say that Ashley and I are point blank correct and you are point blank wrong, because there are gray areas with it, within everything, everything but it wants. But it's nice to know that we've just had a conversation and you've sort of like not done a one hundred and eighty necessarily, but your eyes are open to the way we look at stand. I stand by my point, but yeah, I totally understand there is another side of the coin and I appreciate you opening my eyes. Cool. Well, that's good. At is we can all learn from each other and you can agree to disagree on some things. You know, any things like this, where the US three aren't going to have any great deal. We're not going to affect great change in the rent versus fucking mortgage debate. So it's healthy to just have the conversation, learned from each other and pick a part of the views, because that will also filter down to children. That will filter down to children. You know, we might not impact anything right here, right now. We're in the next ten, fifteen, twenty years. But the hope is is that if those opinions that we have, that essentially means that, you know, people are cared for and people have empathy. You would hope that that will filter down to the next generation and the next generation will be more empathetic towards needs than our generation or the previous generations, and then hopefully that will affect change in the future. As opposed to US directly, those of anything negative to say about society, the becoming more advanced, moving forward, becoming more accepting, challenging the ways things have been for since the dawn of time on the basis that that's just the way things are. I love that. I do just love that. Yeah, yeah, I wilcome these conversations. Good, awesome, not from the barrel of a gun. Change comes from people being able to have these conversations, and you see it a lot in the left and the right. They have these huge debates and they just scream at each other and it's like, you're wrong, Homie, people, people will be different, and if you can sit down and have the conversation and you can tell somebody, hey, this is this is how I feel about it, okay, well, this is how I feel about it. And then okay, well, here's why it's going straight to being like, oh well, you're a snowflake. Are you're a right wing are Hitler Ara? It's like, Whoa, let's just have the conversations and I think this polarizing world we live in makes it very difficult for anybody on any part of the spectrums, like politically, to have that conversation without feeling like they're being attacked. Yeah, that there's be a message to people that you can be you can be wrong and have the wrong opinions, you can be right and have the right opinions, but that's just what they are. It all comes with context. There are no right or wrong opinions until you can back them up and make you can even be poor if that's what you want to do. Yeah, God, stop doing just get a...

...house, just and anyway, on that note, Ashley, even though you really really poorly planned your segment, but it's actually must a really nice it's all came from. Yeah, but you know what, in a nice way, in a good way, in a good way. It ended up being a very nice conversation. But I am now those so I just feel well, tell me hurts, it's thanks. We got for a sleep. But what I wanted to do. I've spent the last like two weeks gorging myself, as it were, on lots and lots of sort of apocalypse style media, mostly relating to sort of Zombie watching the news again, but Um, and it's all doom and gloom goes, and now I am I basically I watched that straight to streaming blockbuster love and monsters. That's on Netflix, sorrying hot Hollywood hunk Dylan O'Brien. Yeah, you know what, it was actually all right, but it got me very, very hungry for the good part, the good four seasons of the walking dead. So I've been watching that as well, and also, a few weeks before I started watching that, love death and robots as well, which is sort of like a for anybody who's not aware, it's sort of a beautiful collection of short films, mostly apocalypse based, which is weird, but they're all really lovely and they're all really fantastic and it got me thinking about no umber one. You know, we've just been through a pandemic and you could argue that Zombie apocalypse is in a way kinto that. Just really, really happy, bad grateful for exam and I'd be lovely. At least we could hang out. Yeah, we be great right now. But it got me thinking about, I suppose, number one, how the UK would cope with an actual Zombie apocalypse, but then too, the three of us, how we would deal with an a Zombie, with a Zombie Apocalypse, what we would do, how we would stay alive, things like that. And and I wanted to kick it off with I used to live alongside a main road, my sort of family home. I don't live there anymore, but my first port of call would be go back to that house, hope that the current inhabitants have left to maybe find refuge and all of the gardens are walled. You know, it's a it's all very very well in world house. So Fortress Vibes. So, just just to clarify the proactly, you want us to help you. Well, work together. How would we work together to survive a Zombie Apocalypse, specifically, specifically a Zombie apocalypse. I mean, can I don't take one box straight away? Ashley would be out here, would be foraging for weaponry, handheld armaments, guns if he could find them, and he'd be out of a wonderful time doing explosions at Zombo's. I think I would be surviving pretty well. They're want to Brag. This is the interesting part, though. So when you watch like sort of Zombie apocalypse movies, though, usually guns and weapons are very, very freely available because they take place in America, where their laws around guns and weapons are yeah, but you make an interest. So we jouns of the Zombie apocalypse are overrated. You don't want noise, like you want to bow an arrow. You want it. I wouldn't even go so far as a boon or a crossbow, because a crossbow makes a notice of whatever. You see a crossbow in a movie. You don't hear the clatter, the funk of it fire and you always hear like a dull silence edited the with when it's like a cross. I was a clunky piece of equipment. Well, when the Zombie apocalypse hits, I'll head straight to the nearest farm and I'll go rummaging around in draws for the farmers shotgun. And actually, when you've snapped your string your bow an Arrow, you more than welcome to come groveling for my help and I will perhaps endure a shell or two and we can shot gun away together. Doesn't matter if the zombies know where we are, provided we have lots of guns, because they're always going to bring us on. You could all have some. You can have some. Welcome, hi, everybody. Welcome zombies. I have lots of shotgun for so you want to be as quiet as possible, I would. I would have a spear or a HASTA or how bad? No Noise, just a quiet jab. Keep them at a distance to know whenever you see with them as a source, one holberd from the office. Yeah, he's good. No, thinking like a sweet it'd be perfect. You want to crack some skulls, you want to keep some distance between you and the zomboes. I wouldn't. I would bear that these riving unit of it. If you were to gather every militarian in history and have the go survive in a Zombie apocalypse. I would bet that spearmen, the Roman style, phelanx spearmen, would be the gnarliest people because that you have no bodily contact with them. They have spears and shields. That's what I would revert to. I would have me you and I tell you what's going to be better than a spear, though. Is it a gun? It's big OWL's farm.

Welcome, everybody, click like bow. Reach me with your speak, because lots of liking bits. No, actually, because he lost the thing. Yeah, you are going to run out of that. WANT TO FARM? Ll grow some more. Have you ever tried to make shot? Sorry, for those listening, this is all hypothetical. It's quite difficult to make ammo in the UK, to make anything that no shotguts. Shotguns really easy. What you get? You get the you get the film can of stuff from a thirty five mile roll of like camera film. Yeah, you start with so I've heard, and then and then you fill it with the dust that settles at the bottom of a bag of wheat box. Oh Shit, he's right on top of that. She's Smidge of olive oil. This is the mildest anagistic that you pop those shotgun then you bring some piece be dead again properly this time. I did it right. Don't worry everybody. I use the WEETO gun. Who who do we think of US three? So let's say there's three roles. Yeah, somebody survives all the way to the end, somebody gets killed right away, Uh Huh, and then somebody that like lies about being bitten, because there's always fucking one out. There's an how I died straight away. Did you hit? Did you hear about the bet I just said about doing weeds? Are being hugging? I'd be gone immediately. The mushy serial gun? Yeah, that would just yeah, you would be gone. She would be written this Onca turn up. He actually trips over trying to get up the ladder in excitement to fire his new shotgun rounds. Yeah, it's just trips and shoots himself. Yeah, Tom's got the best chance. You know, he's very top. Time is fast. You've got big ideas. Actually, you know about survival and stuff. I do think you would fall in love. You would find your your Zombie Sweetheart, and you would be stricken. All right, don't want to be stricken, I don't want to die. I will. That's no resistant. Just Ashley. Let me tell you about her. Okay, we'll start from the feet up. The feet little bit Gammy, but don't worry, her booking stocks help hide it. On her her the legs, the leg decaying, the leg bits. No, no, the leg bits are lovely, in fact, so sculptured. So take okay, she's actually he's. She works in partnership with Jim Shock. So she's got some real scots of lovely leggings. Okay, so burken stocks and leggings already. This isn't working out. Its wearing granny shoes and sports leggings. I'm I'm hesitant. Up Top, Ashley, I know you've got a sweet soot sweet spot for the Parker coat. I love a parker. He's not wrong. And Oh my God, her beard is lovely. By the way, it's a nuclear zone. Everybody has transformed way, so as when I be's optimus prime as well. Did I mentioned she's a truck. She's a rouble unders. Going to do to make her fall in love with you? You're gonna have her teacher the compassion of humans, because she's a robot in disguise as a robot lorry. Don't. Don't. How will we on optimist prime and the transformers from Cybertron and not, as only a popular base is free. Yeah, he's helping us. Speaking. My puzzle over. Do I survive because I fall another optimist prime or not? Know, you lie to Tom who does survive all the way to the end because you got bitten by your darling sweetheart, Parker coat, Jim Shark Leggins, bur can stop wearing optimist prime. Sexy Wife Lady, and you, you are killed by her. She don't? She she does do the yeah, gets you. I died doing what I loved, being bitten by big lorries. Any lory listeners, pry. My address is well, let's let's pivot to where we think like that, like what the best tactics would be, and I'll throw one out there straight away. Duct tape. What? Don't just duct taping everything, and I mean like every item of clothing covered in duct tape? You want to leave the hurt house, wherever you're living, and you're going to get in contact with zombies, you just have duct tape everywhere covering skin. How how are they going to bite through. That be like a really annoying PINATA. He's an interesting because, like, I don't know, I'm right, this is going to be a bit of a surprise to the two of you and definitely our studio audience. I ain't watch many films, so I don't really know what goes on in them, but by the sounds of things, people sums forgotten about cars. What's what's alls by you, the steinite. What makes you think there's gonna be no translates? Central died and abandoned their cars on the road. How are you going to drive through it? Yeah, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. Just fucking get in on, unlock the doors. What are you going to do, zombies? But you're going to starve to death eventually. There's zombies. They don't get tired. They're not he's not going to get bored of seeing his food in a car wild. I'll...

...make sure that the car I get into this broken down is in the McDonald's drive through and me and Ronald can get through it together. Ronald, the Zombie. First, you evit clowns, mate. Clowns are extra susceptible to Zombie. Oh God, but Ronald is dedicated to his job. So, although he is a Zombie, he will also give you the best fast food in the land. He can't chase you because he's got shoes that are too big. What, I think the answer is going to be to climb up a tree and just hang out, just be about an Arrow, not even with a bout. Are you want to just I want. I want to avoid conflict all casts. I would go to the lake districts, I would take my van and a canoe and then I would go and live on an island in the middle of the Lake district, because there are four and I really like them. I saw them when I went this weekend. I would go and come from one of these. I figured out. I've solved I've solved the episode. Go ahead, the three of us get in, HMM, one of Ashley Good Cars, famed automobiles. Yeah, famous for their safety and comfort. Very true. No one's breaking through the oak tree. What have you ever seen anybody punch through an Oak Jay? It's not going to happen. We will be safe in there. We will drive from town to town, we will break in and squat inside properties owned by people. We will solve not only actually good cars sales for that financial quarter. We will d establish, D establish the landlord system, because any landlord, they're going to be frightened that we're going to go in with my wheto shotgun and I don't know, we may lose a couple of deposits, but will be safe. Constantly moving. Okay, come going to constantly moving. I sorry, I forgot. Constant forgotten an optimus primers. There again. He'd stayed with us. He likes me, but we're always on the run from megatron. We always got always trying to kill me pretty early on. Oh yeah, we liked him for it. You can. We don't like it. Magan on about bow and arrows. Honestly, they're guns in Zombie movies. Every time you like fire a gun, they're like, Oh, I've got I've got ten shots left. There's a Zombie, I'll just use my gun and it's like, oh great, now there's zombies and I've got nine shots left. It's like home are you better save yourself a bullet and just kill yourself. That's just Paul Planning. Like if that was me, what I would have done is probably taken more but more bullets for my gun. Just yeah, I would have had infinite bullets. I don't that's the way to Sid I don't put my jeans on, I'd put my big pocket jeans on, so I'd have had lots of room. HMM. I just don't think that that's how it's going to pan out. I think you're going to run out of AMO, you're going to get eaten and then I'm going to have to put you out of your misery. But you know, like you'll be like, I love you, it's been good knowing you, and then I'll be like you too, and then, when I think you're like all the ways onbified, I'll be like, damn, motherfucker, hurt, and you'll be like no, I'm still here. And then what happened is the fog will clear, Ashley, and you'll be able to see my dying form and the camera it'll pan up and you'll see the forest floor with its broken leaves and twigs decorated with the flex of my blood, and then you'll see my birken stocks, and it was, you know. To be continue, I'd like to admit something. I don't know. I don't know what a buking stock is. I don't know what well of those, like a shoot for a Vegan. Yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Well, now that now that we have, in Alex's words, solved the Zombie Apocalyse, I said solve the part. Just want to wrap it. I'll solve the positive episode. Over there where some birkenstocks and you both have ive being in my zombies. I think that's a win, win, win, and I finally got to die. And to close off my segment, I also want to do one of the quick thing. I came up with a game, something of a recurring se segment if it goes well. I'll describe it very briefly. The game's called top one hundred right. It's based on the fact, as you said, Alex, that you know nothing about movies. You know no movies. I don't think I like this. I don't deal already it sounds like I'm gonna it's going to be fun of something. It's going to be fun for everyone but you, but it's going to make for good radio. So I've got the IMDB top one hundred list right here. I'm going to ask you to pick a number between one and one hundred. And, yeah, you then got to just give me the plot synopsis. I might give you what if even if I'm not seen it. I've yet. No, that's specifically the idea that you haven't seen said move the less its back the future. I guarantee is not seen it. Okay, guarantee. I could do back to the future exactly if you want. I've done that one a lot, yeah, many a time. But yeah, so, I mean ash you can obviously maybe give a few context clues, maybe some of the actors that are in it, if that will leave and help Alex that much. But yeah,...

...maybe we could just wrap up with that to close off the show, Gamemkay. So I am now to pick a number between one and one hundred. You're going to tell me the corresponding movie off the IMDB's top one hundred list, and then I've got to tell you what happens in the movie. Yeah, you've got to give me a brief synopsis of the movie and if you want some help, if you want some support, I could give you a review from Okay II as, in which case numbers seventeen, please, seven, teen. Let's go. That movie is Star Wars. The Empire strikes back from one thousand nine hundred and eighty and yes, perfect. So, of course star wars is in space. Yep, it's stars. Yet Christian Stewart, Christian stewarts in it and she looks lovely. Neil Patrick Harris, but he's not. He's playing Neil Patrick Harris. And essentially the plot is Neil. He was walking through the city streets of London, was on his way back from an audition. Okay, walking through London, and he saw an advertisement for Dan's tastiest Samwich and he popped in and he opened the door and the bell cringled as he did it, niggling, moving and he walked into the first step, into the best sandwich shop in London and fell through a portal. Guys, can you believe it? No one could. This is fine, no idea. Carry them. This is better than you original. And what what happened after that was then he was on the moon and Christen Stewart, who had also been in the audition with him, was like our friggin ackneil fell for the sandwich trick again. Same thing, Adam Sandler last week. These not the fucking Samich trick. They goofed him up with the sandwich trick. They got another one gets an every sad didn't got go. What what happens in what we next? The next scene is so christens to it. All the way up to this point she's shy and timid, as you'd expect her to be. But then, like the lighting change in it and it becomes dark and gloomy and it narrows in on like it's just a letter box view of her eyes. And then when it pans out again, she's just in all leather, all the way down, all the way black, and she's got her light swords, got a light sword and she and she's ready to recover nail from the Moon, the moon, what place he's in. And then right, it's at it. After this point, like so far, it's kind of got wrong comp vibes, but it's that point of the movie just totally swim itches. And then there are fights, big fights. Yeah, Darth Vader is there. That's his name. That's the one. Dude. He's there and what he's not happy about is, well, they're trying to get him out of the Sandwich Moon. Is this pre asthmatic to be lader or post asthmatic to Vada? What does that mean? Well, is it like America Hatter when he's just a person, or is it like a man with I mean, I can give you a run through of one of the scenes if you want. Yeah, please, Neil, Neil, please take Neil, take this light sword. Od Do have vagina, RAF let's go. Hey, Neil, it's me, darth vader. Dude, you get back to the moon, sandwich, you, and then they and then what happens is they do a war right start, there's the fucking pase. Hang on, actually, no, no, hang up, the stars are in the wall. All right, right, okay, all the stars, right, the start the fighting, and that one, that's just the first installment of Shit. So, oh right. So this movie, Empire Strikes Back, is split up into different parts, and that's the fourth one. Okay, okay, okay, I've never seen star wars. I appreciate it. They're probably it's probably about a conflict and I'm pretty sure it happens in space and there are space ships and there's a robot and a shiny robot and the little little one that says bleep bloop. But outside of that, yeah, no, that I don't have a plot. So just just through, sort of like pop culture ozmos. That's as much of you as you you've ever all. That's what STU's gotten through the barrier. Yeah, okay, okay. Well, would you like the appletonomy things in the world? Yes, please, okay, okay. After the rebels are brutally overpowered by the Empire on the Ice Planet, Hof Luke, skywalker begins Jedi training with Yoda, whilst his friends are pursued by Darth vader and a bounty hunter named Bob a Fett all over the galaxy. Eat. So I...

...say again. Yeah, you guys. That basically Naib. It was pretty incredible. I reskinned it. Yeah, and you did. Better be about job casting, because now it's got christal's doing in it. So that's just a lovely time. Crist is, do it. If you're listening, you're welcome as a guest. We want to hear you talk all about how you were in Star Wars. That would be fantastically. Please be a guess, but don't don't go down house hosting Christen, please, customs, please, in face recording session. It's Christen Stewart and Alex's wife holding hands. Nobody knows. Alex, why are you under the table? What's going on? What is that supposed to insinuay? I'm doing to Christians, Jewet, you're sick. Fuck. Your wife is a respected guest on all you tell me podcast and you will treat her better than that. What would you be doing under the table? I at if Christen's you? That's the fucking question. I wouldn't know what's doing there. How would you look at her? I wouldn't. I wouldn't be I wouldn't be able to. Yeah, precisely. It would be like looking into the eye of God. You just simply couldn't. I would come bust and in that moment he was unable. Good, I've got now. Is that the podcast? But that's the end of my second podcast. I think that's the podcast. Yeah, because you're welcome. Thank you, Ladies and gentlemen, for joining us for the inaugural episode of the thirty three percent majority, where you have found three friends and we have fought for our fifteen minutes of fame. I've been your real host, Alex Springthorpe. I think you'll find Alex was not the real host. It was me the whole time, Ashley whole yet I. Tom Hutchinson was always an absolutely delightful, delightfully, absolutely, absolutely delightful. It's been the delight delightful. It's been a glad to die. Absolutely it's been absolutely delightful. It's been a delight.

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